|
|
|
A Guide to The Serengeti Safari
The Northern Game Parks in Tanzania is famous wildlife migration which continues its annual cycle through the Serengeti and the Maasai Mara in Kenya is without doubt one of the most exhilarating natural spectacles on the planet. The awesome beauty...
Avoid Information Overload When Searching For Airline Tickets
No more information overload on travel!
The importance of avoiding information overload when searching for the cheapest airline tickets online cannot be stressed enough theses days. This article will explain how you should take your time and do...
Ghost Hunting on Oregon's Coast
The winds cut deeper and make progressively louder noises as the days shorten. Fog creeps in from the sea more often. And then Halloween shows up, as if to really remind us about things otherworldly. It's no wonder Oregon's northern coast has a...
God's Country
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, beauty can escape us. It is only by living in the moment that we can experience our wondrous environment. Sometimes traveling to a new and exciting place helps us to take notice of our surroundings. ...
Holiday in South Africa
I met a European couple (the guy from the Netherlands and the girl from UK) in Australia a couple of years ago. They are now planning to come visit South Africa later this year and I thought it may be useful for European travellers to hear a South...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
A TIME-TRAVEL POSTCARD...
(c) Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved.
Seeking a spot of serenity somewhere in the universe, I recently booked a deep-discount dodgy berth on the ‘White Elephant Express Space Shuttle’, to a little known place in a galaxy far, far away.
“IT” (otherwise known as HD 36405.b) is not your average “oddball” exo-solar planet made of rock that wobbles on its end and zips around a nearby star in less than 2.46 days.
Most linear thinkers have a great deal of difficulty even comprehending why on earth anyone in their “right mind” would be interested in visiting a planet called “IT”. Not being a linear thinker with an investment in the “right” answer, I didn’t give a hoot. After all, what does one (who walks on water and listens to miffed mortals all day long) do for a frigging night off, now I ask you?
If truth be told, (after reading random excerpts from “The Itty Bitty Bunkum Book About Life, the Universe and Practically Everything Under the Sun Not To Mention Stuff Going On In Remote Galaxies), I was simply delirious. According to its noted author, Dr. Jarn Leffer, “IT is a ’must-see’ for those with little time on their hands and a passionate interest in Innocuous Things.”
As planets go, “IT” is a pretty ho-hum celestial pit-stop with perhaps one exception… the welcome notice that reads, “Cosmic Cowboys - Welcome to the furthest unexplored outreaches of the Galaxy … Home to the Flop Fairy and Oodles of Gadflies!”
“IT” is populated by colonies of giggling, green grasshoppers . What else would you expect to inhabit a far-flung, fantasy-challenged hellhole like this? But, what made “IT” strictly speaking a strange place was the fact that the inhabitants munch on green, biodegradable garbage bags just for fun.
Lacking masticating capabilities, the gadflies process their food by vigorously jumping up and down on it. No wonder they have no need for fast-food franchises, strip malls or landfills!
Anyway, I picked up this picturesque postcard of the blessed ballyhooing buglugs. They look perfectly happy but don’t be deceived. In reality, they’re just a gang of glad-handing grasshoppers. They don’t play golf, eat burgers, or drink beer -- and none can frost a rock! Come to think of it, apart from the company of bugs and the elusive flop fairy, this pathetic planet has precious little going for IT!!
To put "IT" bluntly, life on “IT” is just shy of a tittynope*. The jolly green grasshoppers and the carefully manicured green fairways with sand traps as far as the eye can see certainly make for an utterly harmless world. Regrettably, without a pair of golf clubs, a dimpled white ball, and the notion that 19th hole even exists on this planet -- ”IT” is about as fun as bag of toads!
Life Lesson 42: Remember to talk to your travel agent before ever embarking on a flight of fancy to a planet called “IT” in a galaxy named “Have-a-Nice-Day”!!
__________
*"Tittynope" for you whiffling word-peckers means "a small quantity of anything left over".
If you want to know what those green, glad-handing grasshoppers from "IT" look like -- ask any four-year old, or failing that request some help from a Flying Saucer Club member.
About the Author
Theolonius McTavish is a somewhat spaced-out time-traveller (of minor relevance and importance in the great scheme of things). When not probing odd things happening somewhere in the depths of the universe, he enjoys chinwagging with all manner of merry folk at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com
|
|
|
|
|
| Federal Aviation Administration - Home |
| The FAA is primarily responsible for the advancement, safety and regulation of civil aviation, as well as overseeing the development of the air traffic ... |
| www.faa.gov |
|
| LANDINGS Welcomes All Pilots & Aviation Enthusiasts to Aviation's ... |
| LANDINGS - aviation meeting place featuring: aviation news, up to date aviation databases (FAA Regulations, AIM, SDRs, NTSB Briefs, N Numbers and more), ... |
| www.landings.com |
|
| LANDINGS Welcomes All Pilots & Aviation Enthusiasts to Aviation's ... |
| LANDINGS - aviation meeting place featuring: aviation news, up to date aviation ... Welcome To The Busiest Aviation Hub in Cyberspace: Please Check-in... ... |
| www.landings.com |
|
| AWC - Aviation Weather Center |
| Aviation Weather Center Homepage provides comprehensive user-friendly aviation weather Text products and graphics. |
| aviationweather.gov |
|
| AIRLINERS.NET - A Breath Of Fresh Jet Blast |
| Discussions going on in the most active aviation forum online ... MyAviation.net - Just like Airliners.net but accepting all aviation photos! ... |
| www.airliners.net |
|
| Avhome.com - Your Link to the World of Aviation Featuring Aviation ... |
| The aviation search engine and directory. Featuring thousands of categorized links related to aviation and aircraft. |
| www.avhome.com |
|
| The Aviation History Online Museum |
| Browse through a selection of airplane photographs from the beginning of aviation history to the present day. Take a virtual tour of the Garber restoration ... |
| www.aviation-history.com |
|
| Aviation Week's AviationNow.com |
| Aviation news and information, with aircraft for sale, aerospace engineering, jobs and images. |
| www.aviationnow.com |
|
| Aviation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Aviation refers to flying using aircraft, machines designed by humans for ... Civil aviation includes all non-military flying, both general aviation and ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| U.S. Army Aviation Warfighting Center and Fort Rucker |
| The US Army Aviation Center trains military, civilian, and international personnel in aviation and leadership skills. |
| www-rucker.army.mil |
|
| weather.com - Aviation Welcome |
| Aviation Maps View cloud ceilings, turbulence potential and other aviation maps. ... Share questions and answers with pilots and aviation enthusiasts. ... |
| www.weather.com |
|
| Aviation Safety Network |
| Resource centre for airliner accidents and civil aviation safety issues. |
| aviation-safety.net |
|
| Aviation Jobs, Aerospace Jobs, Jobs in Aviation, Cabin Crew Jobs |
| A recruitment agency for jobs within the aviation industry. |
| www.aviationjobsearch.com |
|
| NTSB - Aviation |
| US Government authority responsible for maintaining the standards of the US aviation industry. |
| www.ntsb.gov |
|
| Aviation.org |
| Org--the interactive website operated by Aviation Safety Connection, Inc.--addresses fundamental safety issues related to pilot performance. ... |
| www.aviation.org |
|
| Aviation |
| The aviation site at DTLR. Sections on environmental and noise issues, the future of air transport, the Heathrow Terminal 5 enquiry, air safety and other ... |
| www.dft.gov.uk |
|
| Canadian Aviation - Real Pilot Info for Canadian Pilots - Home |
| Your Canadian Airline, Aerospace and Pilot Portal. News, Webmail, Links, Metar Reports, Classifieds, Wallpaper, and Galleries that affect you in Canada. |
| www.aviation.ca |
|
| AVweb the internet's aviation magazine & news service |
| Aviation magazine and news service featuring aviation news, articles, searchable aviation databases, and on-line shopping. |
| www.avweb.com |
|
| EAA - The Leader in Recreational Aviation - Oshkosh, Wisconsin |
| Official Home of EAA (Experimental Aircraft Association), The Leader in Recreational Aviation, an international 170000-member organization encouraging and ... |
| www.eaa.org |
|
| Unusual Aviation Pictures |
| Aviation Pictures you don't see in the Paper Everyday. |
| www.aviationpics.de |
|
|