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Hamtastic: Spanish Ham
HAMTASTIC!
THE ONE AND ONLY SPANISH HAM
There’s more to Jamón Ibérico than meets the eye. Those waxy haunches that hang above every other bar, from Bilbao to Benalmadena, are not just any old hams. There is a story behind them - an...
How to organize your European Vacation?
Friends often ask me to plan their European vacations, and more specifically, their vacation in Paris. Why me? Being a native of Paris I have the inside scoop as to cheap hotels, how to get special hotel deals and other cheap vacation tips. I can...
National Parks – Get Out Of Your Car!
The national park system in the United States is full of beauty and surprises. Still, you’ll be wondering if they’re worth it when you run into the crowds of other visitors.
Road Side Viewing
Sure, millions of people visit our national parks...
Tips For Vacationing On A Budget
Looking for some vacation money saving ideas? There's nothing wrong with vacationing on a budget. Hey, we all can't travel like the rich and famous.
You save all year to get the money for a well earned vacation. You want to stretch your vacation...
Visit Santa Barbara California
Ninty some miles north west of Los Angeles lies the lovely beach city of Santa Barbara, California where you will find some of the cleanest and best tended beaches on the west coast. The city of Santa Barbara which includes Hope Ranch and...
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Loincloths And Tenderizing At A Budapest Spa
The Gellert Hotel Spa is renowned as the ultimate spa destination in Hungary. Here’s a first hand account of the Gellert experience.
Gellert Hotel Spa
While in Budapest, everyone kept saying I hadn’t experience Hungary until I had a spa. According to my newfound friends, “a spa” meant the Gellert Hotel Spa.
Being a macho American male, I dragged an American girl I met on the train with me to the spa. The purported purpose, of course, was chivalry and introducing her to an experience she would never forget. After paying $2 each, my bluff was called. Women and men were separated for the treatments. I was alone and didn’t speak a word of the language!
Once separated, I was sent into a large room with what appeared to be a few hundred dressing rooms. An attendant looked up from a desk, said something in Hungarian, slapped a piece of cloth in my hand and pointed to a dressing room.
In the dressing room, I prepared to change only to realize the cloth was no more than a string and a 2 x 2 inch square of cotton. For those anatomically challenged, the string went around your waste and the cloth hung in front. At this point, there was only one thing to do. Chant the traveler mantra, “Ah, what the heck. I’ll never see any of these people again.”
Outside the dressing room, I proceeded to immediately stand around, try to look casual and see what the locals were doing. This was a bit difficult as I was the only person in the room. Eventually a local showed up, changed and headed down a hall. I followed and hoped he didn’t notice.
At the end of the hall, we walked through two giant pools. The walls were painted in baroque styles, the steps into the pools were marble and the whole place was impressive. I nearly let my loincloth slide up.
After the pools, we approached a room that looked remarkably more industrial. There was a line out the door and I dutifully joined it behind my guide. After a few moments, we rounded the door and I saw something I did not
expect. Eight loincloth clad men like myself were lying on metal tables. Large male masseuses were standing over them. They would slap them about, spray them with garden hoses, slap them about and repeat as necessary. This wasn’t the massage I was anticipating, but I sure as heck wasn’t getting out of line. That would be to embarrassing!
After a few moments, it was my turn to jump up on a table. My “masseuse” looked at me and said, “Americanski?” I nodded. He grinned. And the beating began. A Hungarian/Turkish massage reminded me of the movie “Rocky.” In Rocky, the lead character pounds on sides of meat to get ready for his fight. In the case of the massage, I was the side of meat. It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t exactly relaxing.
After a few moments of tenderizing, I was lifted off the table and sent flying through the air. As time slowly passed, I noted this hadn’t happened to any of the men who went before me. I also noted the limestone and marble material used in the walls. Just as I started panicking, I splashed down into a pool to the sound of laughter. While I was trying to decide if I should laugh or be enraged, my body started sending its own signals. I was in a pool of what had to be the coldest water on the planet earth. I am talking Antarctica kind of cold.
Leaping out of the pool, the men in the room gave me a standing ovation accompanied by hunched over, gasping laughter. Now I knew Hungary.
Well, when in Rome…err, Budapest.
About the Author: Rick Chapo is with http://www.nomadjournals.com - makers of travel journals. Writing journals are great travel accessories and travel gifts for him or her. Visit http://www.nomadjournaltrips.com for more articles, journals and stories.
Source: www.isnare.com
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