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Believe In Yourself And Become a Winner: Lessons from Hollywood
A while ago I made it a point to watch the movie "Legally Blonde."
Not just for the bright, chirpy and eminently watchable Reese Witherspoon, but also because I loved the message it sent out.
If you didn't see the movie, all you need to...
Can you get fuller breasts from natural breast enhancement supplements?
There have, in very recent years, been a flood of breast enhancement and breast enlargement supplements put on the market. All of them make the same claims of being an effective and safe alternative to breast augmentation surgery. For many women,...
Hey! I'm Livin' The Life
Copyright © Jan Tincher - All Rights reserved
http://www.tameyourbrain.com
Some people will say to me, *Getting old is for the birds.* They are younger than me in age, but older in spirit. When they say that to me, I look them in the eyes,...
Invest in Your Health
What if a trusted friend were to tell you about an investment where you could not possibly go wrong...what would be your reaction? And what if there was a virtual mountain of credible information that supported the investment claims...wouldn't you...
Use This Rules To Survive A Loss
The intent of this article was to ease any trauma caused by break ups or permanent separations between two persons. I strongly believe that almost any person must have encountered the feeling of loss when being told by the other person that a best...
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4 Strength-Based Keys to a Rewarding Life
Four Strength-Based Keys to a Rewarding Life
By Dr. Mike Shery
Nurture a Strength-Based Consciousness Your most valuable traits are those that predispose you to have a deep satisfaction with your life, instead of just transitory pleasure. Chris Peterson, a professor of psychology, devised the Values in Action (VIA) test to measure one’s five top strengths. The list comprises 24 attributes that strength-based psychologists have discovered are valued across cultures.
They have started to analyze the data from 110,000 individual tests that have been logged online. Their preliminary findings are fascinating. For example, those that score the highest on life satisfaction surveys seem to be people whose top five strengths are: hope, the capacity to love, the ability to be loved, curiosity and gratitude. The most common strengths among people seem to be curiosity, love, fairness, open-mindedness and appreciation of beauty. The smallest amount of test takers had strengths in the temperance category: self-control, prudence and modesty. In some surveys, this strengths test has been rated as very useful and one that seems to stand the test of time.
Optimism-Saturated Days
To nurture positive feelings about the present and the memories of happy times in the past, the ability to “savor” is thought to be important. One psychologist, Dr. Martin Seligman, “creates” the “perfect day” or “perfect half-day” for clients by using their unique talents and strengths in the scheduling of enjoyable events. For example, if your main strengths involve a love of sports, you might include watching a game or even reading a book about a sport or player that you like. If the capacity to learn is at the top of your list, you might register taking a continuing education class or a particular workshop that has garnered your interest.
Bring Gratitude to the Foreground
Pessimists typically don’t perceive that the glass is half full, only that it is half empty. This trait suppresses positive feelings and predisposes the pessimist to dwell on misfortune and to put a negative “spin” on things. Dr. Seligman emphasizes that gratitude should be deliberately cultivated, which, studies confirm, will increase one’s life satisfaction.
To do this, he tells his clients to write down three good things that happen each day. For each item, he directs them to also note what they did to make them happen. He says that, over time, deliberately bringing the positive side of things from the background to the foreground makes putting a positive
“spin” on everyday incidents almost automatic, making it harder to discount one’s positive contribution to them. This, over time, seems to transform one’s usual pessimism into optimism and depression into enthusiasm.
Talk Back to Thoughts that ‘Rain on Your Parade”
Disputing negative thoughts fights off feelings of depression when misfortune strikes. Dr. Seligman maintains that many people already have the skills to dispute coworkers or family members who may criticize them unfairly and when negative thoughts fill their heads, these same people should view them the same way; as external, somewhat automatic critics who always tell them how wrong they are. This healthy view demands a clear assertiveness.
He advocates use of the A-B-C-D-E model which maintains that (A) you first consider the adversity you’re facing and (B) then examine the critical automatic beliefs that arise about your situation. For instance, are these thoughts or beliefs unreasonably pessimistic or critical? Then, examine the toxic consequences of these thoughts and follow by (D), disputing them to yourself, just like you would any person who was trying to talk you into feeling bad. Over time, this process tends to interrupt the cycle of pessimism and despondency which afflict many people.
Remember, talk back to these thoughts which are trying to “sell” you on feeling bad about yourself, just like you’d talk back to any person trying to do the same. Your thoughts “talk” to you and you must be assertive and “talk back” to them! This process creates energy (E) that enables you to take on the problem and the negative feelings that follow. Argue a case against your pessimistic intruder just like you would do with any intruder who was trying to “sell” you on something destructive. _______________________________________
____________________________________________ Reprint Instructions Box: Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety as long as you leave all links in place, don’t modify the content and include the resource box as placed.
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About the Author
Dr. Mike Shery specializes in consulting to long term care facilities regarding mental health. His website, WWW.NursingHomes.MD,provides state-of-the-art mental health treatment,staffing and career information to LTC professionals. Get a copy of the special report, “How Strength-Embedded Psychotherapy Can Reduce Resident Agitation,” by clicking drmike@nursinghomes.md. Put “Special Report” in the subject field.
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