|
|
|
Feng Shui for Your Health and Vitality
How many of us wake up in the morning feeling refreshed, happy and full of energy? How many of us, after a few hours in the office, still feel full of energy? Why certain environments uplift our spirits and make us breathe deeper, while others...
Hair Loss In Women – A Devastating Occurrence
Hair loss is widely accepted as a man’s problem and it is quite common to see bald men. However, hair loss in women is just as common, but it is more devastating for the individual when it does happen. The psychological impact of hair loss in women...
Hugh Hefner’s Best Friend
Every man’s dream whether he will admit it to you or not is to be Hugh Hefner’s best friend. Be honest with yourself, married or single wouldn’t it be cool to be best friends with Hugh! He lives an incredible life that most men only dream about. ...
Stylish Women of the Zodiac
Aries These bold, arrogant and confident creatures are not afraid to flash a little leg or boast a low-cut top. When it comes to fashion, female Rams are self-styled leaders who love flashy, glamorous and sexy clothes. They are also the first to...
The Imperfect but Perfect Person
Woman today are too worried about their appearance. Many women are insecure about their body and sometimes even personality -- always asking questions like “Are my breasts too small” or some cliche statement for instance “Does my butt look too big.”...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Date Lying
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine,
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.
Title: Date Lying
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul
URL: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 765
Category: Relationships
Date Lying
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
A reader of my articles wrote to me about the article I wrote entitled, “Why do People Lie?” He said that he would be “very interested in a similar article with examples about all the lying that women do….At least in the initial stages of dating, women lie sooooo much.”
Well, being a woman, I’m not as aware of how much women lie on dates as I am of how much men lie on dates. So I decided to write about date lying in general.
The man who wrote to me was upset about lies such as “I have to go,” or “I’m busy,” or “I’m on another call right now. I’ll call you back.” He states that “I think that much of this is women’s very misguided attempt to ‘spare someone’s feelings.’ Reject them, without actually rejecting them.”
I think this is accurate. Women have been trained to not hurt men’s feelings. They have been taught that if the truth will hurt, then tell a “white lie.” And, when they do tell the truth, it is often in a harsh or critical way.
I’ve often counseled women, who don’t want to date a particular man, to say things like, “I don’t feel romantic toward you,” or “There doesn’t seem to be chemistry between us,” or “I’m not feeling a connection with you.” One of my clients told a man who called her for a first date, “Your energy does not feel respectful toward me. I’m not drawn to meet you because of this.” He was open to what she was saying and they ended up having a good conversation. He was appreciative of her truth, and she ended up going out with him.
Since men are usually the ones doing the calling, they are not as often put in the position of say no. My experience is that men often lie too, but in different ways. For example, a client of mine, a psychotherapist, dated a man who told her he was in therapy. She was pleased to hear this, as personal growth was very important to her. She later discovered that he was in therapy because the court had mandated it due to him having punched his ex-wife in the
stomach while she was pregnant. She found this out through the ex-wife. His avoidance of the truth was an attempt to impress her and control how she felt about him.
Men often “lie” by coming on strong, calling a lot, sending flowers - trying to impress a woman. Then once the woman is “hooked”, the attention falls away. The giving wasn’t his normal way of being - he was giving to get. It is well known that many men know exactly what to say to a woman to melt her heart. A man at one of my 5-day intensive workshops, who was married but was addicted to being with other women, revealed how easy it was for him to hook women in, even when they knew he was married. “Women desperately want to be seen and understood. All I have to do is reflect back to the woman the things she wants to hear and I’ve got her. I can see her caring, her intelligence, her creativity, her joy of life, her beauty. I can see what she has to offer that has been squashed down. When I see these things in her, she falls in love with me.” Some of the women in the intensive were drawn to him, even knowing that he was sucking them in! The lie was not what he was saying to them about themselves – it was that he covertly implied that he would be available to continue to see, love, nurture and support them, when in reality he had no intention of continuing to do so.
Date lying of many kinds is common for both men and women. Generally, neither men nor women want to “hurt” another person with the truth of how they feel. Both men and woman can turn on the charm at the beginning and seem to be giving and caring, only to turn out to be using the other for their own neediness.
What is the way out of being at the other end of lies? Stay tuned into your own intuition. Speak your truth. Learn to give yourself the approval and attention that you are trying to get from another, so that you are not so vulnerable to others’ approval. And, don’t take it personally when someone does lie to you. Their lie is more about them than it is about you.
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or margaret@innerbonding.com.
|
|
|
|
|
| Beauty Guide -- Hairstyles Makeup Nails & Skin |
| About.com's guide to beauty, hair & makeup. Learn new trends in hair color & styles, makeup dos & don’ts and waxing vs. shaving. See makeovers, tricks from ... |
| beauty.about.com |
|
| Shop at Beauty.com for Make Up, Cosmetics, Skin Care, Hair ... |
| Top Selling Prestige Brands - NARS, Too Faced, Vincent Longo, Philosophy, LORAC and much more in Stock. Free Shipping is available. |
| www.drugstore.com |
|
| Beauty Tips, Hair Styles and More at iVillage.com |
| Find beauty tips, including how to get hot celebrity hairstyles, at iVillage.com. |
| beauty.ivillage.com |
|
| American Beauty (1999) |
| American Beauty on IMDb: Movies, TV, Celebs, and more... |
| www.imdb.com |
|
| Beauty - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| The usage of beauty for purposes of commercialism is a controversial aspect of the ... The ideal Roman is the more masculine form of pure male beauty. ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| CSS Beauty | CSS Design, News, Jobs, Community, Web Standards |
| CSS Beauty focuses on providing its audience with a database of well designed CSS based sites, as well as news and happenings on the CSS Design Community. |
| www.cssbeauty.com |
|
| Dove |
| Real Beauty E-cards. Send your loved one a real beauty e-card to tell her how beautiful she really is. send now · countries · privacy policy · terms of use ... |
| www.campaignforrealbeauty.com |
|
| Free Beauty Tips And Samples |
| Free beauty tips: hair care, skin care, makeup, lips, cosmetics, hairstyles, eyebrows, nails etc. |
| www.free-beauty-tips.com |
|
| Beautynet.com - home |
| Offering articles and related stories, plus a directory of beauty salons. |
| www.beautynet.com |
|
| css Zen Garden: The Beauty in CSS Design |
| A demonstration of what can be accomplished visually through CSS-based design. |
| www.csszengarden.com |
|
| Beauty |
| Information and practical advice to make you even more beautiful. |
| www.ivillage.co.uk |
|
| Amazon.com Beauty: Fragrances & perfumes, makeup, skincare ... |
| Online shopping for all your favorite brands of beauty products in the Beauty Store, where you'll find the latest in makeup, perfumes & fragrances, ... |
| www.amazon.com |
|
| GlobalBeauties.com - Your Portal to a World of Beauty |
| Coverage of Miss World, Miss Universe, and Miss International. |
| www.globalbeauties.com |
|
| American Beauty |
| Official Dreamworks web site. Trailer, reviews, and credits. |
| www.dreamworks.com |
|
| Beauty | Seventeen.com |
| Beauty Secrets: Readers share tips on how to fix last minute nail disasters and get ... Beauty School: What was your best makeover experience? ... |
| www.seventeen.com |
|
| Sally Beauty Co. |
| World-wide supplier of beauty salon products and equipment. Corporate information, locations, online catalog. |
| www.sallybeauty.com |
|
| Beauty Bar |
| html hit counter. |
| www.beautybar.com |
|
| BeautyLink |
| Your official Gateway to the World of Beauty on the Web. Your FREE Beauty Link membership gives you access to gossip, model & celebrity news, a teen section ... |
| www.beautylink.com |
|
| BBC - Slink - Hair & Beauty Bible - A-Z <br><p class="recess ... |
| Contains fashion and beauty advice, news, views, and interviews. |
| www.bbc.co.uk |
|
| Health and Beauty |
| Natural Health and Beauty, review articles on health and beauty, Skin Care, ... Problems with deteriorating facial bones and beauty are more severe in women ... |
| www.emaxhealth.com |
|
|