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A Life of Adventure?
Copyright 2005 Mark Cole In a conversation recently, a friend remarked to me: “Every man dies, but not every man lives.” If you think about it, that is profoundly true and rather disturbing. I hope that shakes you up like it does me. You might not...
Beauty as a Sexual Object
To fall in love -- considered by some as the ultimate quest in life, and prepared by others with a constant and unending flow of fantasies, dreams, and enchanting ideas. And what we find sometimes to be so uniquely freakish of a fetish of our...
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Jack Webb’s famous line from the old Dragnet TV show resounds in my head as I sort through my hopes, wishes—and fears—about my goals in life. To shift myself from listening to the negative comments of my mind, I imagine his crusty character,...
Pilates Exercises – Can They Give You The Body You’ve Always Wanted?
Pilates exercises are a favorite fitness choice for many people including movie stars like Danny Glover and Gweneth Paltrow, professional dancers, and even some professional baseball players. Why this fascination with Pilates? What can it do that...
Rejuvenate Your Skin with a Simple Seaweed Facial Mask
Rejuvenate Your Skin with a Simple Seaweed Facial Mask A few years ago I discovered how to make a simple facial mask that left my face feeling incredibly soft, smooth and looking absolutely radiant. This mask contains kelp, honey, and aloe vera. ...
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How to Really Enjoy Christmas, Written by a Pro
I’m known in my family as the original Christmas Elf. I’ve always loved Christmas and thought it was created just for me. And this even when for many years I held jobs that escalated dramatically during December.
I thought I’d share ten ways to make the most of this wonderful season, not because I’m any sort of expert, but because I love it. I like to learn from someone who loves what they teach, don’t you?
1. It’s all about warm feelings.
You are creating memories for yourself and for those around you. Stay in the moment and don't dwell on past occasions, because this one coming up will be “the best Christmas yet.” I have said that every year!
2. Bake, bustle and bedeck.
Yes, it takes work, but like labor (as in childbirth) it’s one of the times when your work really pays off big time. The point is that it is different, so let it be different. Fill the house with the smell of ginger, chocolate and cinnamon. Go out in the yard, cut holly and greens and drape them everywhere drapable. Put reindeer horns on the dog, mistletoe in the office break room, a big red bow on the mailbox, and definitely a big wreath on the front of your car. And while you’re at it, make a tiny scarf or tiny Santa cap for the “Jack” on your antenna. Wear a Christmas tie, Santa earrings, a decorated sweater and jingle bells on your ankles (use the dog collar). Bustle, do more, get in the spirit. Yes, you’re busy. You’re busy doing wonderful and fun things, and your heart can be full of the people you’re doing this for. Know what I’ve learned? You could be just as busy preparing for your mother’s funeral — same deal – food, houseguests, cleaning, travel, in-laws, worrying about budget, arrangements. Get it?
3. Spread good cheer.
Many people do have a hard time with the holidays. If you don’t, let your light shine on the corners of others’ darkness. When I hear someone say, “I can’t handle this,” or “I’m overwhelmed,” or “There’s too much to do and I’m tired. Aren’t you?” I bellow out good and loud -- NOT ME!
4. It’s only “commercialized” if you let it be.
Everything in life is “commercialized”. Or not. If you're worried that it is, take a break and see what you can do spending as little as possible. You'll learn some interesting things about yourself and others.
5. Christmas works on any budget.
Yes, it’s hard if you’re really facing a “hard-candy Christmas,” but it’s at those times that we’re often at our best. Stripped of our “lucre power,” we are left with “us” – imperial, proud and true. In truth, the things you DO with people, and the way you ARE with people are the greatest gifts you can ever give, and they are increasingly rare.
6. The perfect gift?
Giving of yourself. It requires no money whatsoever. What’s demanding about going out and buying her a sapphire ring? On the other hand, would you take the time, effort, and empathy to create an occasion designed for her enjoyment, which for any man, woman or child would be a time of your unconditional, undivided, unadulterated attention?
7. Love yourself and love the season, but focus on others.
My many years raising funds for charities gave me a unique opportunity to see it’s really true – it’s the giver
who gets the gift. It is great fun to sit down and think about who really needs some help.
++Mita’s husband is in Iraq. Babysit for her one Saturday so she can go shop for the kids and have lunch out with a friend.
++Give a Christmas party for the kids down at the shelter. (Tip: Buy the very best candy, the stuff you'd buy for yourself, not the cheap bag stuff. The difference will be all yours.)
++Make homemade dog biscuits and deliver them to the animal shelter.
++If you’re of another faith, volunteer to staff the homeless shelter Christmas Eve, or to staff the hospital ER Christmas Day.
++Put a jinglebell collar on your lovable Lab and take her to the nursing home.
++Call the dear octogenarian at your church and make a date to take her for a drive to look at Christmas lights and enjoy a little hot chocolate and Russian tea cakes with you afterwards.
8. Find the sacred moments and don’t be afraid to cry.
The joyous part we talk about, but when you sit down finally at the end of a long day in your rocker in front of the beautiful Christmas tree to rest for a moment and enjoy the beauty, and put on your Luciano Pavorotti video and listen to him sing that duet with his arm around that precious little boy who looks up at him as he hits the high notes, innocently and easily, as little boys do, and the tears well up as you remember such a little boy who now has whiskers on his cheeks and is 6’2” and has a little boy of his own, let them. It’s an emotional time. That’s what memories are made of.
9. Love the Scrooges
They are there and you will hear them. There are people for whom there’s always something wrong with something, and this is just the next “something.” Same issue, new venue. Get your mantras ready. Here’s one I use, with my big holiday smile – “That’s okay. I’ll enjoy it for you then, and get twice as much fun out of it!” As if it were a zero-sum universe!
10. It isn’t an intellectual debate.
You’ll hear it -- Should someone who isn’t “Christian” celebrate Christmas? Should we also do Hanukkah? Have we materialized Christmas so it has lost its meaning? Will we offend someone? Is it a “religious” celebration or is it “secular”? My answer to this is, I’m at peace with my maker and my fellow man in my heart, I understand my way is not the only way, I see that nearly every culture celebrates something this time of year for a reason (see topten BD322, http://www.topten.org/public/BD/BD322.html ) and why on earth would you pass up any opportunity, ever, to celebrate, spread joy, enjoy one another, give and receive, eat, drink and be merry, and yes, worship?? Whatever face it wears, bring it on!
Kwanzaa’s cool for me. Would I pass up a chance to celebrate unity, self-determination, collective work and responsiblity, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity and faith? Hey, count me in!
About the Author
©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching for all your needs – transitions, resilience, career, relationships. Susan is the author of “How to Get Her the Perfect Gift” and other eBooks of use – http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html . Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine.
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