Breast Cancer, Not Just For Women
According to the American Cancer Society, eight out of ten women will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer. And men are not exempt. It affects more of us then we can ever imagine. Since there had been no history in my maternal family line of breast cancer, I felt I was at a very small to no risk. Of course, it would never happen to me. On my father's side of the family, there were two sisters with breast cancer, one in her late forties and again in her seventies and the other in her seventies when they were diagnosed.
Faithfully, I went for my yearly exams to my ob/gyn. Never had I had any lumps in my breasts during an exam. Although I was in my mid-forties, I had not yet had a mammogram. My list of reasons for not doing it and my excuses were probably just like yours if you haven't done it either. My doctor had advised upon getting one; but I didn't sense any urgency. I had just gone through pregnancy and nursing.
Considerably late in life, I gave birth to my son. I was busy being a new Mom, breast-feeding and basking in the glory of my little miracle. Fortunately, my pregnancy was fairly easy and I had a very healthy baby in spite of my age. Jason was 7 lbs. 8 oz. and 21 ½ " long! Big enough for me thank you! My doctor advised that when I stopped breast-feeding to allow a little time and then we'd schedule a mammogram. Again, there was no urgency, just advice.
While I was nursing, the very tip of my nipple developed a very small sore. I had had some difficulty nursing and some irritations; and this small sore seemed no more than part of that. When I fist pointed it out to my doctor, she said it was nothing. She thought it was a breast-feeding irritation.
Several more months went by. I stopped breast-feeding and gave my nipple time to heal. It didn't. Conscious that my body didn't usually take this long to heal, I went in to see another doctor and get a second opinion. She said it's either nothing at all or a very rare form of breast cancer. She scheduled a mammogram. Immediately following the mammogram was my appointment with the surgeon and he diagnosed me with a rare breast cancer called Paget's Disease. The dismay and shock I felt made it hard for me to find my way out of the Doctor's office. As I sat in my car in the hospital-parking garage, I screamed and screamed, wondering if I would live long enough to raise my now two-year-old son.
After the initial shock, there were moments when I would feel a tremendous calm in spite of all the emotional chaos. When I could be in touch with my feelings, I knew that God was with me through this entire ordeal. Two weeks after diagnosis, and just two weeks before Christmas, I had a mastectomy! On Christmas Eve my gift was the removal of the drainage tubes from surgery. I went through chemotherapy treatment and lost 95% of my hair. Although I never went completely bald, wigs and hats became my new fashion statement. I loved that I could put my head out of the car window when driving, enjoy the speed and not mess up my hair! Now that was pretty cool.
Every person's experience with cancer is very personal and no two people seem to have the exact same experience even though we all go through similar treatments. One thing that was amazing to me, people that you barely know will step up and lend their help and support in unexpected and amazing ways. And sometimes, people whom you would expect to be supportive are not. Many close friends and family are at a total loss as what to do to help a loved one. They are so afraid for you and for themselves.
It was a conscious decision on my part to ask as many people as possible to add me to their prayers. Although I am a spiritual woman, I would not say I am deeply religious. This was not a time to be shy, coy or modest. My life was at risk! Many women and men that didn't know me or vice versa, included me in their prayers and on prayer boards. I firmly believe their prayers made a hugh difference in my getting through the cancer as well as I did. Some people even today keep me in their prayers even though the obvious cancer is gone; and I have been cancer free for nearly three years. I welcome and appreciate those prayers and always say thank you. The power of prayer is strong.
An example of my getting through fairly well are, my red blood cell count levels never went below normal even though I had months of chemotherapy. Some people loose their blood count levels after the first treatment. I had my chemotherapies on Fridays. One Friday, I was to join my friends on an annual trip to the
mountains in Idyllwild for hiking and relaxing. On Saturday, the day of the hike, I decided to go and just go for as far as I could or was comfortable for me. As the trail wound up the mountain, I found the view and the fresh air exhilarating and energizing. I ended up hiking that day for about five to seven miles! Now that may not sound like a lot when you're healthy; but after chemo, it's quite a feat. Needless to say the next day I was very tired; but it was a good kind of tired; and I felt proud of myself for even being able to do it.
I came to realize that although having Cancer is an awful experience, God meant for me to go through it for some reason. It is also not the worst challenge a person can have. I can look at the challenges that others go through and feel I am blessed that mine was "only" breast cancer. There is always something worse.
The attitude you chose to have in a crisis is also of major importance to the success of the outcome. No, it's not easy. But find what is important to you and focus on that. For me, it was living to raise my son for a long, long time to come. We may not understand what God wants from us, but we can have trust and just go with it as best we can.
Have you heard, "make lemonade out of the lemons" in your life? Sure you have! For most of us, unless we are challenged to do this, it is only a saying. It is real. No matter what you go through and the challenges you face, there are sweet spots. Don't get me wrong; it doesn't take the tragedy out of things. But when we look for even the smallest, tiniest glimmer of what is positive out of the experience you can and will have a new perspective. When I asked my Aunt Mary, who had gone through breast cancer two times, with two mastectomies years apart, "How did this experience change you?" What she shared with me is what I have since heard many other women say in similar ways, "You quit sweating the small stuff. I learned to appreciate my children even more. Every day is precious." Like Aunt Mary, I smile now when my son does something that might have made me angry before. Now, I tend to think, it's not that important and things happen. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. I am thankful to be here for him and he for me, because he is the most precious thing in the world to me.
Did you as a child ever envy the guys because they could take their shirts off on a hot summer day? Well, I did. Girls didn't get to do that. After the mastectomy, in my rare case of sick-sense-of-humor, I wondered, "If I had had a double mastectomy would that mean I could take my shirt off in the summer and no one would care?" Obviously, I came to the conclusion that, "Yes, many would care," but it was a rather funny thought.
More and more women can and do survive breast cancer. Ladies and men, if you find anything unusual for your own body and how it would normally react, get it checked. See your doctor. You are your best super sleuth when it comes to your own body and health. Don't ignore those little things that just don't seem quite right. Early diagnosis is best. The women I know that have lost their lives to breast cancer often ignored their early warning signs.
I was on Tamoxifen for two years and am now on Aromasin for an expected three more years. More people need to be aware that breast cancer is not just about lumps and not just about women. Men are diagnosed with Paget's Disease also.
Help get the word out. Emails are circulating in an attempt to inform people. It seems to be more prevalent than initially thought. I am a volunteer for the American Cancer Society. I also donate a percentage of my sales to the ACS. If you would like me to speak on Paget's Disease and/or Breast Cancer, I would be happy to. Also if you know of someone going through breast cancer and are wondering what you might be able to do to help them, go to my website, www.ElnAlbert.com and you will find in the free articles, "How To Help Her With Cancer." This article will give you dozens of little ideas on how you can help a loved one with cancer. Believe me, all those little things make a big difference.
About the Author
Copyright 2005 Eln Albert
Best known for her expertise in Interpersonal Communications, Eln Albert works with those that want to be at their best when influencing others. Eln is a Professional Speaker, Trainer and Writer.
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