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Are your nutrition habbits robbing you from the body you desire?
Copyright © 2005 Marc Lindsay What if by making a few small changes in your nutrition and eating habits you could add up to a 50% gain in muscle mass and loose up to 18% extra fat. Well you could be robbing yourself of these gains just by not...
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Stress Management
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Four Keys to Overcoming Your Nervousness Around Women

Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has the most gorgeous face you've ever seen. Her hair is silky brown. Her skin looks so radiant and so incredibly soft. You would be on top of the world if you could pick her this girl up.

You feel the fear deep in your gut.

You know that even if you got your balls in gear and went for it, you wouldn't know what to say. You feel so nervous and fumbly that you would reject yourself if you were her. So you shy away from even approaching her in the first place.

Does this situation sound familiar? If so, keep reading.

The first thing for you to realize is that all guys get anxiety about approaching women. I know I certainly do.

But what separates you (and me) from the rest of the guys is...

What You Do About Your Fear.

Most guys let fear paralyze them... not just about chicks, but about other things in their life like their career... which is why, unfortunately, most guys will never find the success that they want.

First, look at where your fear comes from. The problem is inside of you. It's not with the chicks.

If you're thinking about rejection, then that means you're making your approaches with a certain outcome in mind (I'm just guessing, but I think if you're like most guys, your goal is getting chicks attracted to you so that you can get laid).

Try this instead... approach without having any expectations. No goals.

Let me tell you about a problem I used to have. I'm inclined to be an introvert, as I discuss in my book , [insert your affiliate link] "How to Become an Alpha Male."

So to overcome my shyness, I would force myself to chat up everybody, no matter who they were... hot girls, ugly girls, fat girls, old people, men, children, people walking dogs, etc.

I would talk about neutral topics with them, nothing to do with picking up chicks.

The net result from all of that was I became really good at approaching people.

After that, however, I made a mistake. I said to myself, "Since I'm so good at approaching people and have become an outgoing person, why am I wasting time talking to anyone other than hot chicks?"

So then I limited the people I talked to... and my anxiety about talking to random women swept over me once again. It was as if I'd never had all that practice chatting up strangers in the first place.

At that point I realized it was because I was outcome-dependent. Because I had thoughts like "I'm going to try to lay this chick" in my mind... before I'd even opened my mouth to say "hi"... and so I would crash and burn. It sucked.

Here's something I want you to try. Whenever you go out, talk to three people, but do it just for practice. Don't do it for real.

Because it's just for practice, don't limit yourself to just talking to hot women. In general, I've found that elderly people (both males and females) and fat women are easy to talk to.

If it helps, set up a time limit for your practice interactions, like that you'll talk to the person for 30 seconds and then you'll get out of the conversation. (Say something like, "Well, I'm on my way to meeting a friend. Good chatting with you." And then walk away without making a big deal of it.)

Once you've done your practices and feel warmed up, then you can chat up hot


chicks. Again though, do it without having any sort of sex-related outcome in mind. For example, if a chick passes by you in a hallway, just say, "Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something." (Then ask about something that you genuinely want a female opinion on.)

Remember though: have no outcome in mind. So it doesn't matter if the chick responds rudely.

In fact, when you reach a point that you've chatted up lots of women, you'll find that eventually rude responses on their part mean nothing. You'll have an attitude of "ha, how original... I've had tons of women give me that exact same 'clever' rude comment."

I've been rejected hideously, time and time again. One chick screamed "Go away!" at me before I could even get out my initial sentence.

Another time I thought it was amusing when I approached a group of two girls, just for practice, and right after I said "hey," they both turned their backs on me in unison, as if they were synchronized dancers!

Now I just look back on all of that and laugh.

My point is that the more you approach, the more you'll reach a level where you notice that most people act in the same, predictable ways. It'll bore you rather than cause you anxiety.

Think of it as trying to build a house. You put down one brick at a time and cement it. Brick, cement. Brick, cement. It'll take a long time, but eventually, the walls will be up (which means you've finished the hard part).

To get a bit more psychological, there's really no such thing as "being nervous." You don't "get nervous," like it's some kind of flu virus that invades your body.

All feelings of nervousness come from within. You have a certain series of thought processes that you go through. You say things to yourself. (When you think thoughts like, "I would reject myself," it sets you up for failure!) You picture the chicks rejecting you. You feel tense in your body. And so on.

So what you can do to break this is to identify it for what it is.

Notice your negative thoughts and change them. Instead of thinking, "Oh my God, this chick is going to act like a bitch to me because I fumble my words"... think, "It's awesome that I'm making this approach, because if this chick rejects me, that means I've gotten her out of the way and I'm one step closer to finding my dream girl."

Notice where you feel tense in your body, and then let your muscles relax in those areas. For me, I feel tense in my jaw and face when I'm nervous. So when I relax my jaw and facial muscles, it alleviates a lot of my tension.

I'll wrap it up for you by concluding with this advice:

1) Be social for the sake of being social. Nothing else.

2) Remember that the only way to get over your fear is by doing the thing you fear. The more you do it, the easier it gets, because your attitude about the experiences will become, "Been there, done that, it's no big deal."

3) Recognize your bad thoughts and force yourself to replace them with good ones.

4) Ease the physical tension you have in your body when you feel nervous.
Learn to permanently overcome your shyness and anxiety around women. http://www.becomingalpha.com

About the Author

John Alexander is author of "How to Become an Alpha Male,"a seduction success guide for men available at http://www.becomingalpha.com

 

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  • 10 health fitness tips

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  • attaining healthy nutrition habits how you can do it

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  • a beginner workout routine to build muscle

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  • bodybuilding routines boring heck no

  • bodybuilding sins that cause back pain and missed workouts

  • bodybuilding sins that cause back pain and missed workouts part 2

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  • but i dont want muscles part 1 what muscle is and how to build or avoid it

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  • carbohydrates in food good carbs and bad carbs

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  • core principles the function of functional training

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  • cuboid syndrome

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  • daily checklist for building muscle and losing fat

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  • diabetes what you need to know about this hidden danger

  • dieting 101 for those who want to start but dont know where to begin

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  • diet and exercise evolution adaptation part ii examples and practical advice

  • diet and exercise evolution adaptation part i theory

  • diet information body for life

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  • dont just rent your body

  • dont weight you can be active at any size

  • double diabetes placing your kids at even more risk

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  • eating to build muscle and lose fat

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  • eight fitness tips for the combat realist

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  • elliptical trainers are they the perfect workout

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  • emotional intelligence brings results

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  • ephedra its not just for weight loss anymore

  • everyone wants to be an underwear model

  • exercises for better sex

  • exercise and low carb diets

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  • exercise smarter not harder 10 ways to make consistent progress all the time in your exercise plan

  • exercising for life the magic is in the synergy

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  • falling up the stairs

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  • fitness fat loss tips for a vigorous lifestyle

  • fitness its for the whole person not just the body

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  • five reasons you should drink more water

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  • from fat to fit read one womans amazing weight loss story

  • gaining muscle mass

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  • glucosamine review and potential benefits

  • going basic with natural bodybuilding

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  • greasing the path to success finding the confidence to step up to key moments

  • great summer workouts just add water

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  • gym lore the history of bodybuilding

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  • have you reached your full human potential

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  • healthy eating tips for busy women

  • health and fitness for life

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  • health matters are we headed for a protein crisis

  • health secrets of cayenne

  • heart attack symptoms causes and treatment small lifestyle changes can help prevent heart attack

  • heart friendly foods

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  • heres my muscle building equation

  • heres the quickest way to build muscle and lose fat

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  • hormones creating harmony

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  • how does whey protein affect my body

  • how do i begin a fat loss plan let me count the ways

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  • how much is enough

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  • how one person namely me could be a beginner for 16 years

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  • how to use diet to reduce your stress

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  • if you dont track your diet you are wasting your time

  • imagination is funny

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  • inactive alert essential proteins for sedentary people

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  • is body mass index or bmi a real measure of obesity or is it flawed

  • is ephedra a miracle cure

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  • is your child naughty or is it somethiing they ate

  • i am

  • joint pain relief an overview

  • keys to a great diet

  • learning how to become a good loser

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  • let your intuition guide you to prioritise

  • life is better as an ex smoker

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  • living with chronic illness disorders are you a survivor

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  • lose weight and keep it off a new source of hope

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  • low carb diets are you losing more than weight

  • mad carb disease

  • mad carb disease not all carbohydrates in foods are bad

  • make the right protein supplement choice

  • male bodybuilding what makes a man

  • managing hepatitis the herbal way

  • managing your pain in three easy steps

  • massage that bridges the space between body and spirit

  • maximum confidence

  • measuring and monitoring your bodyfat improves overall health

  • medical question 2 ovarian cysts part2

  • memory power flex your mental muscle

  • mens sexual dream and fantassy explained

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  • more powerful tips to help you become a highly effective speaker presenter

  • more than facial exercise facialbuilding

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  • muscletech gakic a new era in musclebuilding performance

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  • muscle building tips dos and donts

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