|
|
|
Common Sense Customer Service!
The key to growth in any business; whether it be the largest corporation on the planet or someone working a home business from their laptop on the dining room table; is exceptional Customer Service. Customer Service can’t just be ”good” or ”OK”; it...
Five Strategies To Strengthen Your Company’s Financial Management
Too many businesses wait until a crisis occurs before they start to focus on improving their financial management. Often, by that time, it can be too late. By setting aside an hour now to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your...
How to Make a Joint Venture Successful
Question: What was your first successful JV, and what were the steps you took to make it successful? Hello. This is Valerie Vauthey speaking. I am the CEO & Founder of the fastest growing coaching company in North America and Europe:...
What Rich Internet Marketers Know That You Don't
Thirty years ago, I sold information via small classified ads in "ad-sheets" on how to make money teaching others how to make money. We sent out these packets of flyers called "Big Mails." We sent them to people who answered out ads and sent us...
Why Do You ‘Not Benefit’ From Coaching Golf Tips
Most golfers have had dozens of opportunities to receive coaching golf tips from numerous sources. However the most interesting aspect of it all is that many are not able to benefit much from these coaching golf tips. What could be the reason? Is...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dealing with Anger
Dealing with Anger
Jason is a division manager at a large manufacturing plant. He has a reputation for being very loyal to the company, hard working, bright, and dedicated to building customer loyalty. Due to his stellar performance record, none of his supervisors have ever mentioned his “flaw.” He is unable to express his anger, frustration, and impatience with his staff in appropriate ways. A simple request can be met with: “You figure it out. I have eight other things to tend to,” Or, “Why do you care if I handled your customer myself….I took care of it. That’s all that matters.” Or, “I already showed you that procedure. Weren’t you listening?”
Michael is a top executive in a high tech company. He is an extraordinary achiever. He has landed many contracts, headed up innumerable successful projects, and has been a key contributor overall. His whole identity is with the job. His normal workday starts at 8am and ends between 9 or 10pm. On Saturdays and Sundays he puts in 4-5 hours to “catch up.” His behavior is generally positive, albeit bossy, during the day, but if someone catches him at work after 6pm, he is known to snap at them, be sarcastic, and on occasion, even yell. He doesn’t handle his anger or frustration appropriately.
Mina is a super star in her sales department. She was recruited from a competitor for her years of experience and her superior expertise. Her new boss didn’t realize when hiring her that she is very self-centered, arrogant, and suffers from an inflated ego. In meetings, she puts down others’ ideas as “stupid,” she finds questions inconvenient, and she continually criticizes the company. Her condescending attitude has become a major issue for her supervisor.
Through the ages, we have tried to understand, control and appropriately express our anger and frustrations. Anger is a very powerful emotion that can be misused when not controlled, but can also be useful when strategically aimed to make a point. What follows are some guidelines on how we can use anger properly and how we can coach others to do the same.
Anger feels justified.
Anger or frustration is a natural response to certain stimuli. When we feel wronged, when our feelings are hurt, when we are disappointed, when we witness someone else being mistreated, when we are not being listened to, or when we keep experiencing a repeated mistake or breakdown, we can get angry or frustrated.
Each of us learned different ways to express our anger. Some totally suppress it, others show it in facial expressions, some sigh, others raise their voice or make a fist, some stomp their feet, some cry, and others complain incessantly. Most of us let anger control our reactions. In a few easy steps, and with some disciplined practice, you can learn to control anger.
Take a moment to cool off before doing anything.
It’s key to notice immediately when you are starting to feel frustrated, impatient or angry. At the first inkling of impatience, take a few deep breaths and focus on something else.
Change the pattern.
Do whatever you can to change the situation. Get out of the line of fire. Leave the area for a few minutes, if possible. Change the subject. Move physically. Take a short time out.
Listen vs. talk (or express your anger).
We experience less stress when we listen. Start asking questions and just listen. Don’t argue, justify or rationalize. Listen attentively. When people feel really listened to, they feel validated.
Ask, “Is it worth it?”
Pick your battles. Is the situation really worth fighting for. Some are, some aren’t. Is it worth losing control over, looking foolish, being
inappropriate?
Are you in charge, or are you giving up your power?
If you are letting someone else make you angry, you are giving them the power. Assert your own power and take control. If you can’t calm down and speak without emotion, take a few moments to write down your thoughts. Read aloud what is appropriate for the situation.
Admit that anger is an issue and take charge by keeping an “anger” journal and seek some support and coaching. To truly learn to control your emotions, write down every incident that triggers your frustration or impatience. Spend a few minutes at the end of your workday to do this. Keep the journal for 2-3 weeks. You will become acutely aware of what triggers your reactions. This gives you the power to choose new more constructive reactions.
Whether you use internal resources or seek outside help, taking the first step is usually the hardest.
When I was hired to coach Jason, I asked him to follow these steps. After he kept an anger journal for 2 weeks, he could see that the stimuli that triggered his impatience was when his staff “interrupted” him about things that could really wait. He not only learned to curb his impatience, but he scheduled regular one-on-one time with his reports. He asked that they save their questions for the meetings. He also made himself available for staff time every day from 4-5. Staff learned to be more sensitive to his needs as he showed a willingness to be more available to help them.
The president of Michael’s company asked me to work with Michael on his “moods.” Michael admitted that his life was totally out of balance. He admitted that his wife and two children were very frustrated with his work schedule. He said he loved work and getting things done, but was feeling the strain and not really having fun. Besides keeping a log of his “frustrations,” we also examined his weekly schedule. He was able to cut back on some hours, hire a needed assistant, and commit to taking some of his vacation days. Within 6 months, he got his life back into some balance. He is still a workaholic, but he is better at setting some limits. He is no longer expressing his anger inappropriately in the workplace.
In coaching Mina, we concluded that she does not have the patience to manage staff. We were able to put her into a position as an individual contributor, minimizing her time with others. We gave her examples of how negatively her behavior and attitude were impacting staff, and she improved temporarily. However, when not closely supervised, Mina would lash out again. The company’s insistence on her improving seemed to be the motivator for her to take a job with another company. Maybe the fresh start was better for all involved.
Remember, when you coach your staff, some are always more receptive than others. To control anger, the person has to have the desire to change.
Master these steps yourself, then coach your staff to do the same.
We can only teach what we can model. Use discipline to practice and master these steps, then you can guide your staff to control their emotions.
The best leaders are those who can handle stress and crisis well. How we do under pressure is how our success is ultimately judged.
About the Author
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D., CSP, CMC, facilitates change and motivates others to resolve difficult workplace conflicts through interactive speeches, workshops, and consulting. Dr. Manning specializes in Leadership, Teamwork, Conflict Mediation, Executive Coaching, Meeting Facilitation, Strategic Planning, and Communication. She has authored seven business books, published in eight languages. Over 80% of her work is repeat business.
|
|
|
|
|
| Coaching.com – business & executive coaching for leadership ... |
| Business coaching solutions with executive coaching, personal coaching, professional coaching and corporate coaching to enhance leadership skills ... |
| www.coaching.com |
|
| Welcome to Coach U |
| Training world class personal and life coaches. Offering synchronous and asynchronous training. |
| www.coachinc.com |
|
| International Coach Federation |
| The International Coach Federation is the globally recognized association of professional personal and business coaches. ICF offers the only independent ... |
| www.coachfederation.org |
|
| Coaching - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| This article refers to the act of coaching people. For sports coaching, see coach ... Current practices in performance coaching in non-sporting environments ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Sports Coach provides information on coaching, exercise physiology ... |
| Brian Mackenzie, the UK's highly experienced senior athletics coach provides fitness and training advice for athletes. |
| www.brianmac.demon.co.uk |
|
| The role of the coach is one which enables the athlete to achieve ... |
| Roles and responsibilities of a Coach. ... In a coaching role you will initially need to develop the skills of: providing instruction and explanation, ... |
| www.brianmac.demon.co.uk |
|
| The Coaching & Mentoring Network |
| The leading, independent vortal site, keeping you informed of the latest developments in coaching and mentoring. Connecting you to the people, products and ... |
| www.coachingnetwork.org.uk |
|
| Welcome to sports coach UK |
| sports coach UK is a charitable organisation dedicated to the development and implementation of coaches and coaching throughout the UK. ... |
| www.sportscoachuk.org |
|
| Positive Coaching Alliance |
| Information on awards, location, partnership programs, description of the organization, upcoming events, news items and membership details. |
| www.positivecoach.org |
|
| Career Coaching from Mind Tools - Find Focus, Fulfillment and ... |
| Career coaching from Mind Tools - Maximize success in your chosen career: Find focus, self-confidence, fulfillment and career direction with a Mind Tools ... |
| coaching.mindtools.com |
|
| Coaching Drills, Information and Products For Youth Sports |
| Youth coaching drills for baseball, basketball, football, soccer, softball, volleyball, and track and field. Also makes team decals, posts team photos, ... |
| www.y-coach.com |
|
| Mind Tools - Self-Study Management Training, Career Training ... |
| You can join biweekly coaching and training sessions wherever you are in the world. ... The GROW Model - Coaching team members to improve performance. ... |
| www.mindtools.com |
|
| COACHING SCIENCE ABSTRACTS |
| The best award-winning site about sports science that can be applied to the coaching of serious and elite athletes. |
| coachsci.sdsu.edu |
|
| Coaching UK : Coaching UK and Coaching Related Links |
| Coaching UK : Coaching UK and Coaching Related Links. |
| www.coaching-uk.org.uk |
|
| Association for Coaching |
| Welcome to the Association for Coaching — one of the lead professional bodies for Coaches and Organisations involved in the areas of: ... |
| www.associationforcoaching.com |
|
| The Coaching Corner - The Youth Team Sports Resource |
| The Coaching Corner, the youth team sports resource for coaches, players & parents. We provide instruction, editorials, coaching tips, bulletin boards and ... |
| www.thecoachingcorner.com |
|
| Executive and business coaching network - UK based international ... |
| executive and business coaching - UK based network of international coaches specialising in executive and business coaching, team building and unlocking ... |
| www.execcoach.net |
|
| SOCCER-COACH-L Soccer Coaching Manual |
| A manual for the novice and more advanced youth soccer coach. |
| www.ucs.mun.ca |
|
| My Life Coach - Life Coaching, Become a Life Coach, Career Coaches ... |
| We have the life coaching, personality and career testing tools, knowledge and expertise to help you discover the right direction. |
| www.mylifecoach.com |
|
| Basketball Coaching Playbook, Coach's Clipboard... Coaching Youth ... |
| Coach James Gels offers player development tips and coaching strategies on offense and defense. |
| www.coachesclipboard.net |
|
|