1) Never really raped at all. Instead they were mad at their boyfriend or "some-guy" for whatever reason and were using this as a weapon to "get him in trouble." Or, worse yet,

2) "Asking for it," because of they way they dressed, talked, or presented themselves.

As for the first belief, I believe that this may happen occasionally. However, one would have to be living in a cultural vaccuum to believe that this is the reason that a six year old tells someone that she was "touched and now it hurts," or the nun found battered and bruised who reports that she was sexually assaulted by a seventeen year old. And the second belief? Can you imagine the burglar sitting in court and saying, "Your honor, honestly, I mean the way that TV was placed in that display window, all sleak and shiny and with such a fine picture tube and all - I mean, c'mon your honor, it was just asking to be stolen." Can you?

One of the 'things' that put me on the road that I eventually followed in becoming a police officer, bodyguard and self protection teacher, is my own inherent 'distrust' and rebellion against what we'll call conventional wisdom. I can't tell you how painful it has been for me to listen to law enforcement officials, lawyers, judges and even so-called self-defense experts expressing either or both of these same beliefs. Especially in light of all of the evidence that's available.

Anyway, one day, several years ago, minding my own business, I find myself in a McDonald's restaurant. While enjoying lunch with my wife and two children, I pick up on what sounded like an evangelical presentation at some table across from where we were sitting. This, coupled with the obvious discomfort displayed by the faces and bodies of the man and woman that were the recipients of the message, caused me to give the conversation more than casual attention. At the time, I was a federal police officer with about six years of street experience under my belt, so disturbances like these were something that I naturally and instinctly tuned in on.

What I found when I looked was a small woman, roughly in her late twenties but no more than thirty, talking to a couple at the next table. The look on the woman's face was no less than passionate and her tone was very direct - almost panicked. But, not for herself, for the man's female companion. What I heard next, forever changed the way that I would talk about the subjects of rape and women's self-defense.

You see, this woman, we'll call her Susan, had been the victim of rape. By the time I met her, Susan had recovered significantly from what would be described today as post traumatic stress disorder - the traumatic mental and emotional aftermath of what began as a physical attack on her body. Unlike most victims of rape though, Susan had taken it upon herself to tell every woman - and man or men connected to her - her story, the lessons she had learned, most of all, to learn how to protect herself! In fact Susan was on a crusade. She gave talks to schools, groups, and yes, even the impromptu presentations like the one I was witnessing, in a McDonald's restaurant. And, she was very good at it. Because for Susan, it was personal.

I think that part of the reason for the discomfort in Susan's listeners was that Susan was talking about a subject that is taboo, and especially with strangers. I mean, really, rape? That's sex, right? Yeah, sure, it's a crime, but it's a "sex" crime - "sex" - you don't talk about that, right? But Susan did, and she was passionate about it.

Susan was passionate about it because this one incident, this one type of assault that's routinely trivialized and ignored in our homes, in our schools, and, yes, in our courts, had shattered almost every belief that she had about the crime, who it happens to and her own ability to cope with it.

She was looking at and talking to the man when I came into the conversation. "Do you love her?," she was asking him. "How much?"

"Of course," he said. "But it's my job to protect her." All the while his companion snuggled close to him, nodding in agreement, but abviously

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jeffrey M. Miller is the founder and master instructor of Warrior Concepts International. He specializes in teaching the ancient ways of self-protection and personal development lessons in a way that is easily understood and put to use by modern Western students and corporate clients. To learn more, visit his website at www.warrior-concepts-online.com