The good thing is time heals all and sooner or later we emerge from our hurt stronger, hopefully better for it. Some may come through feeling bitter, somehow we have to learn to deal with our bitterness and move on. A potential future partner can spot bitterness and is likely to run in the opposite direction. Regardless sooner or later you are going to want to start dating again; it's a natural thing for a man or woman to seek out a mate.

In days gone by young people could go to the local dance to meet members of the opposite sex. I guess in some parts of the world you still can. With the advent of the internet we can meet people online, which is great. While meeting someone online does have its dangers in most cases it is relatively safe if you use common sense.

With dating online you can get to know a person first before you go on an actual date. During this time you should be able to judge the suitability of the other person, check them out as it were. This is great, you can establish a friendship first. So what should you do before you go on that first date, especially if you have been out of the dating scene for some time?

While this is written from a male point of view, (I guess it's the only point of view I can come from being one!) some of this will apply to women as well. This first thing is to look in the mirror, yes look in the mirror, no not to admire your muscles but to take a good hard look at yourself. Ok what do you see? Because this is what the other person is going to see. Studies have shown that it only takes a few seconds for an opinion or attraction to form. First impressions do count. Don't judge a book by its cover I hear you say and in many cases that's true but we are not talking reading books here. How is your cover? What is it you are showing to the world? Are your teeth clean? Is your hair clean and tidy or if you are older do you still look like a hippie reject from the sixties. Hey it's great to

Like it or not your appearance has a lot to do with making a favorable impression. You won't attract a worthwhile partner if you can't get passed the first hurdle. Some people, on the strength of there personality alone will make a good impression. Ask yourself are you one of those people?

Step one: Get yourself looking presentable. Join a gym; get your hair cut do whatever it takes.

The other thing I would like to discuss is Personality. When we start out on any journey, endeavour, quest call it what you like we have to start with what we have. It's no use waiting for a man or woman to come along to change things for the better, you will be waiting a long time. Ever met people who say "Well when I meet someone special everything will change" "Once I get a boyfriend/girlfriend everything will be totally different" And I'm a fairy godmother! Oh Please! You get men and women in their late forties and fifties thinking like this. Very Sad!

You have to start with what you have. What are you like now? This takes some honesty and effort on your part. Only you can change things, you don't have to do it overnight, but you have to start. So you have to take a look at who you are and what sort of person you are. Are you open and friendly or do you put people off by your manner? Are you shy? You might say well that's just the way I am; you have always been that way. In that case you have to change the way you are. How do you do that? Practice, practice, and more practice. You might say I'm too shy, too slow, too fat, too bald, too whatever, too lazy. Too bad in that case! yet most of these things considered negatives can be turned around and used to your advantage, although I don't know about being lazy. Many women and men are attracted to someone who is shy. Many of the world's sexiest men have been bald. You have to know when to use being shy, bald, tall, short, cuddly to your advantage and that requires that you Pay Attention, but then that is a whole new subject.

If you want to succeed then "I'm too whatever" will stop you in your tracks. You have to take action. Are you going to play or take your bat and ball and go home?

Let's Play! It will be fun!

About the Author

Julian Cowie is a internet marketer and freelance writer. http://www.joolsgold.com/online-dating/