|
|
|
5 Steps to Dating with Integrity
Copyright 2005 Heartmind Connection, LLC
Here you are. You just have had another failed relationship, wondering do I want to put myself back out there to and try to meet someone just to be disappointed again. How can you take a different...
Consolidating Debt? 5 Warning Signs Of A Shady Debt Consolidation Or Debt Management Company
Unfortunately, not all debt consolidation companies are
legitimate. To avoid the shady companies, educate yourself on
the debt consolidation process and watch out for these warning
signs.
Quote Unusually Low Monthly Payments
A debt...
How to Succeed in Online Dating with Single Women
Day by day, while online
dating is becoming a part of our personal lives, succeeding
in online dating gets
harder and harder due to high competition. Although uploading a
photo and a good personal ad is essential for good results, it
is not...
Making Money in the Online Dating Gold Rush of 2004
Have you noticed the explosion of Websites related to love, sex, matchmaking, relationships, etc.? They're popping up all over the place. Why the sudden popularity you ask? Well, the reason for this "gold rush" towards Online Dating &...
Online dating is now popular and common...
The new age generation has created a popularity with online dating sites. Meeting someone new on an online personals site has become common and acceptable in today's world. People have become so busy with day to day life, that they find it more...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dating Advice: Should you play with madness?
I have a friend with a big problem, a guy who needs good dating advice badly. All the women he dates are dysfunctional, and he can't figure out why. Actually, most of the women he dates aren't merely dysfunctional, they're psychotic.
In fact, when came to me for some dating advice, he told a story about the last woman he dated, how she literally stalked him for three months after their relationship ended, one day calling him a "Nazi," the next calling him the sweetest guy on earth. It got so bad he decided to sell his house and move out of state. No joke, this is a true story.
However, this is NOT the first woman like this he's dated. In fact, most women he's dated are like this. Now, you might think this guy is bad looking and broke, a complete loser who just can't "do any better." The truth, though is this: the guy's 6'2", in good shape, could pose for GQ, and does very well financially. And, he can be a fun, witty guy to hang out with. Why then, did this guy come to me for dating advice?
There are actually several answers to this question (and we don't have time to cover all of them today), but many of them have to do with what's called "map/model of the world," both his and theirs. We'll talk about his in a later episode-for now, just realize your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Obviously he's got some work to do on his inner world, and he is taking my dating advice seriously, but for now let's talk about map/model of the women he dates.
Just what is "map/model" of the world, and how will this help your dating? It's simply how each individual human being views the world-the sum total of our internal representations. Let me give you an example that will clarify this. Let's say you and I are listening to the radio and a particular song comes on. You hate it, but I like it. Why? Because we both have different maps/models of the world. Although the "input" (in this case the song) was exactly the same, the "output" (our reaction to the song) was different. Our "maps" create the differing output. How we view the world is different. How each man responds to my dating advice is different.
When you're screening women to see if they're worth spending time with, you want to uncover as much of their map/model of the world as possible. Why? Because how they've behaved in the past (based on their map/model of the world) is how they will behave in the future. And if the past behavior they've exhibited is bad, their future behavior will be worse. (Take my dating advice on this one!)
When my friend told me during this dating advice session about his experience with this "crazy woman" I asked how they
met, what she said to him. It took me 15 minutes of listening to him for me to determine, simply based on what she said to him, that she was a "nonstarter", someone I would NEVER start a dating relationship with. Why? Because she'd described several instances of psychotic/stalking behavior in past relationships. But, since he wasn't actively uncovering her map/model of the world, and making decisions based on it, he got into a horrible relationship. I would have avoided dating her completely.
So just how do you uncover a woman's map? By asking, "elicitation questions" and actively listening. You want to look for common patterns of behavior that reoccur in her past relationships. Awhile back I met a woman online and we met at Town Lake here in Austin for a walk. As we walked, I simply asked her about her online dating experiences. Over and over she said, "oh he kept following me, but he was a loser." Then I asked her about her relationships, and she kept talking about how guys "cheated on her all the time." How did she know they were cheating, I asked? Well, she said, because I would drive by their houses, and strange cars would be in the driveway. My dating advice to anyone who exhibits this attitude is... don't walk, run!
Now, if I'd pursued ANY type of dating relationship with this woman, what do you think the outcome would have been? She would have driven by my house, looking for "strange cars" and then she would have accused me of "cheating." And then she would have come to my place of work at odd hours to "confront me." Why? Because that's what she did with all the guys who "cheated on her."
Obviously I never met with her again, even though she was cute. But many guys not heeding this very important nugget of dating advice would have, because they were paying attention to looks, not uncovering her map or model of the world. And the next six months of their lives would have been HELL.
Listening for map/model of the world is a valuable skill to develop, and some of the best dating advice I can give anyone. You will find that uncovering someone's map of the world will save you much frustration. . So… I've got some homework for you guys. As you go throughout your day tomorrow, actively listen for other people's maps. Get them to tell you stories, and listen for recurring patterns of behavior, both good and bad. Develop this skill, and utilize it, and you'll be able to avoid a lot of heartache, and enjoy a lot of pleasure.
About the Author
John Alanis, "The King of Let 'em Come to You", is author of the "Women Approach You" system at http://www.womenapproachyou.com. His blog is at http://www.johnalanis.com
|
|
|
|
|
| Welcome to dating.com |
| The dating.com logo and brand are trademarks of Network Telephone Services Inc. All Rights Reserved ... dating.com is a member of the Relationship Exchange. ... |
| www.dating.com |
|
| Free online dating service SearchYourLove |
| Online dating service, which offers anonimity, security and yet real results! |
| www.syl.com |
|
| Match.com - Find Singles at the World's Largest Online Dating ... |
| Match.com personals brings singles together. As the proven leader in online dating personals services, Match.com provides millions of possibilities to meet ... |
| www.match.com |
|
| Ok Cupid! Free Online Dating |
| OkCupid's the #1 free online dating site. Specializing in personality analysis, it was programmed by Harvard math grads. |
| www.okcupid.com |
|
| Dating & Relationships - expert advice, quizzes, and dating resources. |
| The leading source for Dating & Relationship advice, online dating, dating quizzes, Q&A's, love and sex from Jeff Cohen, About's Dating Guide. |
| dating.about.com |
|
| Online Dating Services - Singles, Personals and Dating Sites Directory |
| TruDating.com offers a complete list of the best online dating sites. Find great online dating services, singles sites, internet personals, ... |
| www.trudating.com |
|
| Dating - washingtonpost.com |
| Get dating advice from experts like Carolyn Hax. Find date ideas and information on Washington DC dating. Learn about online dating and get relationship ... |
| www.washingtonpost.com |
|
| Online Dating with Kindred Spirits Personal Ads - Home Page |
| For personals, love and romance, find your Kindred Spirit using The Daily Telegraph’s online dating service. |
| dating.telegraph.co.uk |
|
| Friends Reunited Dating |
| Dating and picture personals for UK residents with postcode search facility. |
| www.friendsreuniteddating.co.uk |
|
| Best Online Dating Singles Resource - Metrodate.com |
| Metrodate.com is the Ultimate Singles Resource, featuring free photo and voice member profiles! |
| www.metrodate.com |
|
| Best Online Dating Services Reviewed + Dating Tips & Advice |
| Reviews of the best online dating services, plus dating tips and advice. See how American Singles, Match.com, LavaLife, Yahoo Personals, Date.com, ... |
| www.edatingcentral.com |
|
| Plentyoffish.com Free Online Dating Service & Dating Site |
| 100% Free online dating and matchmaking service for singles. Stop wasting your money on other dating sites. |
| www.plentyoffish.com |
|
| eHarmony #1 Trusted Relationship Site Move Beyond "Traditional ... |
| eHarmony is the first service within the online dating industry to use a scientific ... If you have tried other online dating sites, graduate to eHarmony. ... |
| www.eharmony.com |
|
| Online Dating with Encounters's Personal Ads - Home Page |
| Encounters is the NEW and totally exclusive dating service for Times Online readers. Whether you're looking for new friends, a quick entrée into the world ... |
| www.encounters.timesonline.co.uk |
|
| Newsday.com - Dating |
| AmericanSingles.com connects gay and lesbian singles for dating and friendship using photo personals, e-mail, chat, IM and more. ... |
| www.newsday.com |
|
| Scotsman.com Dating - find love in Scotland - Perfect Partners ... |
| Scotsman.com Dating - Scottish dating and personal ads - find love in Scotland - perfect partners - men seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking men, ... |
| dating.scotsman.com |
|
| Liv2luv Home |
| Feedback | Search | Whoz Online | Dating Tips | Help. Indiatimes ID. Password. Remember Me ... Mobile Dating. -, Writing an Effective Personal Ad ... |
| dating.indiatimes.com |
|
| Online Singles Dating Site - Meet Quality Singles Online |
| Quality online singles dating site that will help you date and meet singles online. Read fun and in-depth reviews on singles sites, online dating services, ... |
| www.quality-singles.com |
|
| Find Singles with the Top Online Dating Site -- Yahoo! Personals |
| Try online dating with Yahoo! Personals. Search photo personal ads and meet other singles looking for fun dates and long-term relationships. |
| personals.yahoo.com |
|
| DatingDirect.com Dating Direct |
| Picture profiles and dating tips. Registration required to view personals. |
| www.datingdirect.com |
|
|