|
|
|
Dating Tool: Confidence 101
I’m over it. “There’s plenty of fish in the sea,” they say. Well, apparently I have been using the wrong bait. Nobody said dating would be easy, but Hollywood sure likes to paint it that way, doesn’t it? “There’s someone for everyone,” they say....
Jewish Dating Services: An Overview
In the beginning there were no dating services. The very first thing that even resembled a dating service was started by a Jewish woman.
Way back when, the Jewish people wandered through the desert with herds of sheep. There was always an...
Online Dating - The Questionnaires
Online Dating Questionnaires
If you are seriously considering using an online dating service
to meet new people, you should put some thought into the online
questionnaire. Online dating questionnaires are a great way to
tell people who you...
Personals and Getting Started With Online Dating
Getting Started with Online Dating
For anyone who is new to the world of online dating, things
could get a little confusing. Online dating differs from real
life dating in many ways. One of the key differences is that
with online dating, all...
The 6 Don'ts of Online Dating
In previous articles on Internet dating, I outlined what you should do when writing your personal ad, how to exchange e-mails with a woman who has replied to your ad, how to conduct an effective IM (Instant Messaging) conversation and what to do...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Dating Scene - Signs of a Promising Relationship
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.
For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.com
Title: The Dating Scene - Signs of a Promising Relationship
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul
URL: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 848
Category: Relationships
The Dating Scene - Signs of a Promising Relationship
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Celine was just starting to date again after a difficult breakup. She was feeling anxious because she didn’t want to go through another unhappy relationship, but she didn’t trust herself to make good choices. She sought my help in learning how to discern a promising relationship from one that is bound to fail.
In Celine’s last relationship, she had been pulled in by Gary’s ardent pursuit of her. She had wanted to go slower but didn’t listen to herself. Instead, she gave herself up to Gary’s attention and compliments.
“Celine, my experience with men who come on strong right away is that they are often controlling and needy. Is that what happened with Gary?”
“Yes. He seemed so loving and open at the beginning, but once we were in a committed relationship, he started to pull on me for time and attention. He became critical and angry and petulant when I didn’t give him what he wanted. How could I have known all this at the beginning? What should I look for now that I’m dating again?”
Celine had gone on one date with a man named Mark. After this first date, Mark emailed her, saying that he wanted to spend a lot of time with her and go on a trip with her.
“Shades of Gary,” she said. “This is a red flag, right?”
Celine and I explored some of the red flags as well as some of the signs of a promising relationship.
SOME RED FLAGS
• Comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship.
• Becomes angry, critical or withdrawn if you say no.
• Becomes logical and tries to talk you out of your feelings or your experience. Tries to make you feel that you are wrong for your feelings or your position.
• Talks on and on about himself or herself and doesn’t ask you much about you, or is uninterested when you do talk about yourself.
• An older man or woman who has never been married and has been in a series of broken relationships.
• Numerous broken marriages.
• Has an abusive background and has not had therapy.
• Has abandoned his or her children.
• Not open to learning from relationship conflict.
• Participates in addictions that are unacceptable to you – smoking, drinking, drugs, addictive eating, gambling, TV, and so on.
• Financially irresponsible.
• Not truthful.
• Has few friends.
• Judgmental of self and
others. Talks about self and others in disparaging ways.
• Is possessive and jealous. Gets upset when you do your own thing.
• Totally different views from yours regarding religion and/or spirituality.
• Few interests and hobbies.
Celine and I discussed the fact that you get what you see.
“It’s not that people can’t change,” I told her, “but you can’t change them. If he is not okay with you the way he is right now, then don’t pursue the relationship. If you are an on time person and heis always late, don’t expect this to change. If it’s not okay, then don’t pursue the relationship. Same thing with weight, being neat or messy, being a free spender or being frugal. These issues can become huge problems in relationships because people expect them to change and get very upset when they don’t.”
SOME SIGNS OF A PROMISING RELATIONSHIP
• Shows respect for your feelings and needs, even when they are different from his or her feelings and needs.
• Is able to be empathic and compassionate.
• Is interested in what you have to say and in learning about you.
• Is accepting of self and others – non-judgmental.
• Is open to exploring conflict and differences of opinion.
• Does what he or she says he or she will do.
• Cares about being responsible for children from a broken marriage – has not abandoned his or her children.
• Takes responsibility for his or her own feelings, health and well bring. Does not make you responsible for his or her feelings.
• Is financially responsible. Does not expect you to take care of him or her financially.
• If divorced, takes responsibility for his or her part of the difficulties.
• A person who was in a loving relationship and lost their mate to death. People who have been in loving relationships generally know how to have loving relationships.
• Has friends that you like.
• Talks about others in caring and supportive ways.
• Has interests and hobbies that are fulfilling to him or her.
• Similar religious or spiritual path to yours.
• Is supportive of you doing what brings you joy. Feels joy for your joy and pain for your pain.
• Can laugh at mistakes. Has a good sense of humor.
• Has balance between work and play. Knows how to work hard and how to have fun.
Before you can find the “right” person, you need to become the right person. Doing your own inner work so that you can fit the descriptions above for a promising relationship is the first step in finding a loving relationship.
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.
|
|
|
|
|
| Welcome to dating.com |
| The dating.com logo and brand are trademarks of Network Telephone Services Inc. All Rights Reserved ... dating.com is a member of the Relationship Exchange. ... |
| www.dating.com |
|
| Free online dating service SearchYourLove |
| Online dating service, which offers anonimity, security and yet real results! |
| www.syl.com |
|
| Match.com - Find Singles at the World's Largest Online Dating ... |
| Match.com personals brings singles together. As the proven leader in online dating personals services, Match.com provides millions of possibilities to meet ... |
| www.match.com |
|
| Ok Cupid! Free Online Dating |
| OkCupid's the #1 free online dating site. Specializing in personality analysis, it was programmed by Harvard math grads. |
| www.okcupid.com |
|
| Dating & Relationships - expert advice, quizzes, and dating resources. |
| The leading source for Dating & Relationship advice, online dating, dating quizzes, Q&A's, love and sex from Jeff Cohen, About's Dating Guide. |
| dating.about.com |
|
| Online Dating Services - Singles, Personals and Dating Sites Directory |
| TruDating.com offers a complete list of the best online dating sites. Find great online dating services, singles sites, internet personals, ... |
| www.trudating.com |
|
| Dating - washingtonpost.com |
| Get dating advice from experts like Carolyn Hax. Find date ideas and information on Washington DC dating. Learn about online dating and get relationship ... |
| www.washingtonpost.com |
|
| Online Dating with Kindred Spirits Personal Ads - Home Page |
| For personals, love and romance, find your Kindred Spirit using The Daily Telegraph’s online dating service. |
| dating.telegraph.co.uk |
|
| Friends Reunited Dating |
| Dating and picture personals for UK residents with postcode search facility. |
| www.friendsreuniteddating.co.uk |
|
| Best Online Dating Singles Resource - Metrodate.com |
| Metrodate.com is the Ultimate Singles Resource, featuring free photo and voice member profiles! |
| www.metrodate.com |
|
| Best Online Dating Services Reviewed + Dating Tips & Advice |
| Reviews of the best online dating services, plus dating tips and advice. See how American Singles, Match.com, LavaLife, Yahoo Personals, Date.com, ... |
| www.edatingcentral.com |
|
| Plentyoffish.com Free Online Dating Service & Dating Site |
| 100% Free online dating and matchmaking service for singles. Stop wasting your money on other dating sites. |
| www.plentyoffish.com |
|
| eHarmony #1 Trusted Relationship Site Move Beyond "Traditional ... |
| eHarmony is the first service within the online dating industry to use a scientific ... If you have tried other online dating sites, graduate to eHarmony. ... |
| www.eharmony.com |
|
| Online Dating with Encounters's Personal Ads - Home Page |
| Encounters is the NEW and totally exclusive dating service for Times Online readers. Whether you're looking for new friends, a quick entrée into the world ... |
| www.encounters.timesonline.co.uk |
|
| Newsday.com - Dating |
| AmericanSingles.com connects gay and lesbian singles for dating and friendship using photo personals, e-mail, chat, IM and more. ... |
| www.newsday.com |
|
| Scotsman.com Dating - find love in Scotland - Perfect Partners ... |
| Scotsman.com Dating - Scottish dating and personal ads - find love in Scotland - perfect partners - men seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking men, ... |
| dating.scotsman.com |
|
| Liv2luv Home |
| Feedback | Search | Whoz Online | Dating Tips | Help. Indiatimes ID. Password. Remember Me ... Mobile Dating. -, Writing an Effective Personal Ad ... |
| dating.indiatimes.com |
|
| Online Singles Dating Site - Meet Quality Singles Online |
| Quality online singles dating site that will help you date and meet singles online. Read fun and in-depth reviews on singles sites, online dating services, ... |
| www.quality-singles.com |
|
| Find Singles with the Top Online Dating Site -- Yahoo! Personals |
| Try online dating with Yahoo! Personals. Search photo personal ads and meet other singles looking for fun dates and long-term relationships. |
| personals.yahoo.com |
|
| DatingDirect.com Dating Direct |
| Picture profiles and dating tips. Registration required to view personals. |
| www.datingdirect.com |
|
|