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Raising Happy Diabetic Kids Part I Help Your Child Develop Self-Confidence
This is the first in a series of articles I am about to embark upon concerning this subject. As my family gets older and matures with this disease I think back to the early days and wonder why aren't we all on medication for depression? Why don't we have standing twice a week appointments with a psychiatrist? How did we end up so normal?(whatever that is) As I look back this didn't happen by accident, nor am I Super Dad, and I didn't plan it out step by step. It was mostly just paying attention, luck, and decent communication between my girls and me, granted sometimes at the top of our lungs.
The first thing I suggest you do is very important. Remember, our children are who they had in mind when they coined the phrase "monkey see monkey do". Trust Yourself! It's okay to do it your way. There're three components to raising happy kids, diabetic or not. They are Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance, an Self-Control. The more of these components your monkeys see in you, the more of these components you will see in your monkeys! I'm going to put out some ideas here but you're the boss of your situation. Do it your way.
Upon reading the three components you might ask "but where is self esteem?" I'll save that particular ramble for another day. Let me just assure you that if your child has self-confidence, self-reliance, and self-control then self-esteem comes naturally.
What is Self-Confidence?
Self-Confidence is:
Trusting your ability to form and sustain relationships
Trusting your ability to complete various tasks well, knowing that others value your abilities
Trusting your ability to manage new siuations
Trusting your own judgements and common sense
As you can see trust is a key element of self-confidence. When our children don't have that measure of consistency and predictability in their lives it becomes difficult for them to gain the necessary trust either in themselves or in others to become self-confident. So if our children see that the people who are most important to them (us as parents) trust them and will provide them with a consistant environment, they will begin to trust themselves, their judgements, and those of the people around them. This is the beginning of common sense.(Yahoo!)
How do our children acquire Self-Confidence?
Self-Confidence comes from:
Being accepted for who you are
Having someone show confidence in you
Knowing there is something you are good at
Having firm expectations of other people's behavior
Not being afraid of failure
Developing competence with the saftey of a parent close by
Seeing others you admire and copy, being confident and happy
It seems so easy when you write it down. When you think about it three main components have to be in place: Trust and Predictability, competence, and sociability.
Trust and Predictability - We all know that routines are important for
developing feelings of trust and security. Think about the routines and relationships between you and your family and friends. How much do they keep to a pattern? Will your child begin each day with a reasonably clear idea of what will happen and when?
Competence - Being good at things. We all have different talents and abilities. We need to help our children identify the things they are good at and encourage them. These skills fall into a couple of different catagories.
Practical: Seeing how to make or mend things, and build things
Physical: Good at sports, kicking or catching a ball, swimming, running
Mental: Good ideas about things, good at solving practical problems, good at schoolwork
Social: Good at playing with others, kind and considerate, good at making new friends
Process: Being good at tying new things, sticking with difficult tasks and so on
Sociability - Trust and develope their social skills. Involve them moderately in your social life. If we have our children with us it shows not only are we happy to have them with us but also that we trust they will behave appropriately. Getting used to being in new situations, and learning to talk to different people will increase our children's confidence considerably. Here's one that took me a while to figure out. Give your child advance warning of your feelings, of short temper, tiredness, sadness, or whatever. "I've had a lousy day at work and I'm very crabby. It might be smart to keep your head down and your mouth shut." Or "I've had an argument with so and so and I'm feeling hurt. If I'm short with you I'm sorry." This not only teaches them techniques for managing their own feelings, but gives them a chance to learn sensitivity to the feelings and moods of others. These are essential social skills not only for now but for later on in life.
Our children will develope self-confidence only if we have first shown trust and confidence in them and have given them an environment where they can predict and trust. Diabetes and all of the unpredictability, feelings of powerlessness, and exclusion that sometimes go with it just make this process that much more difficult. I look at it like if it was easy any idiot could do it. Well, we're not just any idiot. We're special idiots. We have been entrusted with the care and upbringing of a diabetic child. So remember you are a special person entrusted with a very special task. Trust yourself. It's okay to do it your way.
In the next issue I'll take a look at Self-Reliance.
About the Author
Russell Turner is the father of a 10 year old Type 1 diabetic daughter. After diagnosis he found plenty of medical information about diabetes on the internet. What he couldn't find was information about how to prepare his child and family to live with this disease. He started his own website for parents of newly diagnosed diabetic children. http://www.mychildhasdiabetes.com
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| American Diabetes Association Home Page |
| Their mission is to prevent and cure diabetes and to improve the lives of all people affected by this disease. Available in English and Spanish. |
| www.diabetes.org |
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| Diabetes Information - American Diabetes Association |
| The American Diabetes Association recommends the FPG because it is easier, ... Take the first steps toward better diabetes care by visiting the Diabetes ... |
| www.diabetes.org |
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| Diabetes UK home page - Diabetes UK |
| Diabetes UK is the largest organisation in the UK working for people with diabetes, funding research, campaigning and helping people live with the ... |
| www.diabetes.org.uk |
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| Canadian Diabetes Association |
| To promote the health of Canadians through diabetes research, education, service, and advocacy. |
| www.diabetes.ca |
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| Diabetes information including treating type 2 diabetes at ... |
| Offers dietary recommendations, including recipes and tips on managing blood sugar levels. From GlaxoSmithKline. |
| www.diabetes.com |
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| Diabetes |
| Web site for Diabetes. ... publishes Diabetes. Stanford University Libraries' HighWire Press ® assists in the publication of Diabetes Online ... |
| diabetes.diabetesjournals.org |
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| CDC Diabetes Public Health Resource |
| The diabetes information homepage of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, provided by the CDC’s Division of Diabetes Translation. |
| www.cdc.gov |
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| CDC - Health Topic: Diabetes |
| Diabetes · Diabetes and Research Diagnostics · Diabetes Surveillance Report · FAQ's on Diabetes · Physical Activity and Health: A Report of the Surgeon ... |
| www.cdc.gov |
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| National Diabetes Information Clearinghouse |
| Provides educational materials to increase knowledge and understanding about diabetes among patients, health care professionals, and the general public. |
| diabetes.niddk.nih.gov |
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| Diabetes mellitus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| For diabetes mellitus in pets, see diabetes in cats and dogs. ... Type 1 diabetes mellitus - formerly known as insulin-dependent diabetes (IDDM), ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| MedlinePlus: Diabetes |
| (National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases) - Links to PDF ... Select services and providers for Diabetes in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia: Diabetes |
| Diabetes affects about 18 million Americans. There are many risk factors for ... These levels are considered to be risk factors for type 2 diabetes and its ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| Diabetes |
| What to expect from your diabetes diagnosis? Get up-to-the-minute information about medications, insulin, blood sugar management, nutrition requirements, ... |
| diabetes.about.com |
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| WebMD Diabetes Health Center - Information on Type 1 and Type 2 ... |
| Find in-depth information here about diabetes prevention, diet, ... Study Shows Burned-Out Staffers More Likely to Get Type 2 DiabetesGo To Article ... |
| www.webmd.com |
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| WebMD Health - 404 Error |
| Allergies|Anxiety Disorders|Arthritis|Asthma|Back Pain|Bipolar Disorder|Cancer|Children's Health|Cholesterol|Depression| Diabetes|Diet & Nutrition|Erectile ... |
| www.webmd.com |
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| Diabetes Overview |
| Defines diabetes, including the various types and treatments. Provides information on the impact and cost of the disease, its increasing prevalence, ... |
| www.niddk.nih.gov |
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| Diabetes News - The New York Times |
| A free collection of articles about diabetes published in The New York Times. |
| topics.nytimes.com |
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| children with DIABETES Online Community |
| An online community for kids, families, and adults with diabetes, featuring message boards, chat rooms, and questions/answers from medical professionals. |
| www.childrenwithdiabetes.com |
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| International Diabetes Institute - Diabetes Research, Education ... |
| The International Diabetes Institute is the leading national and international centre for diabetes research, diabetes education and diabetes care. |
| www.diabetes.com.au |
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| Diabetes New Zealand |
| Educates and informs people about diabetes, its treatment, prevention, and cure of diabetes. |
| www.diabetes.org.nz |
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