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Raising Happy Diabetic Kids Part II Help Yor Child Develop Self-Reliance
This is the second article in a series I am writing about how to raise happy diabetic children. You can find the first article titled Help Your Child Develope Self-Confidence in our article archives.
Sometimes the phrase "happy diabetic kids" seems to be an oxymoron. Often it seems all of the dark powers of the diabetes universe are aligned against you. You wonder if there isn't some evil house elf behind the scenes just making everyone's life miserable on purpose. Not being graduates of Hogwarts School Of Magic we can't just wave a magic wand and make it all better. We must prepare for life with diabetes and we must prepare our children. Self-Reliance is a critical skill for diabetic children to master. Think of all of the responsibilities that go into daily diabetes care. We all realize that we must keep the responsibilities we put upon our children age appropriate. Non the less, in most school aged children the ability to take some responsibility for their own care goes a long way in giving them some feelings of control over their diabetes. Last month I mentioned there are three components to raising happy children. Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance and Self-Control. No I still haven't forgotten Self-Esteem we'll get there. I'm still of the opinion that with these first three components your child can't help but develope Self-Esteem.
What is Self-Reliance?
Self-Reliance is the ability to manage on your own: to know how to manage your time, to function and think independently, combined with the ability to solve problems. With self-reliance, there is no need for other people's approval before moving forward or doing something new. It's also un-neccessary for constant guidance on how to achieve a goal. you can rely on yourself. Self-reliance is about tasks and skills -- knowing how to do things, how to achieve things or how to manage things. It also includes the ability to be alone and to think things through on your own.
Self-reliance is broader than self-confidence. Self-confidence relates to what we can do, to specific skills. Self-reliance is about being independent, creative and self-sufficient; having confidence in our inner-selvs to enable us to adapt and manage on our own.
Self-Reliance helps us become:
Self-reliance is also having confidence in your own ideas. It is about being able to see things through to completion. It is about not being afraid of setting goals, and not being stopped by fear of failure. There is a common belief that the world is made up of three diffrent types of people:
those who make things happen;
those who watch things happen;
those who notice nothing until after then ask, "What happened?"
Those who have good self-reliance (and self-confidence, and self-control) develope self-esteem and make things happen. If we want our children to be able to make things happen, we don't have to think on a grand scale. It doesn't mean we all should want our children to be like Bill Gates, or Nobel Prize winners. We don't need to have our children achieve on a scale that makes a difference to others, We should aim to give our children a measure of self-reliance that allows them to keep better control of
their own lives and keep choices open for them.
Self-Reliant at What?
We can encourage self-reliance in our children from a fairly early age. As soon as your child shows they can manage things for themselves, however slowly or clumsily, we should allow them to do so. Self-reliance is best introduced and experienced stage by stage, starting early and building up slowly as they become more more competent and responsible. When children are very young they have this almost unstoppable drive to become independent. Before they learn adult concepts of failure, they are willing to try over and over until they master whatever they are trying to do. This is especially true if they have older brothers or sisters. They desprately want to do what the older kids can do. If we stand in the way of letting them try or show disapproval when they don't do it quite right we can damage their belief in themselves. The more we do for them the more we prevent them from developing the ability to make judgements and decisions for themselves. The stages of self-reliance are fun to watch. The first time your baby grabs a hand full of baby food and finds their own mouth with it. When they learn to "go potty" all by themselves. When they put their own shirt on, usually backwards after wrestling with it for ten minutes. When they pick up their own room. When they start to earn an allowance. When they do their homework without you holding a gun to their head. When they go off on their first baby-sitting job. When they show you their first apartment, where you should promptly go through it turning on and leaving on every light in the place, leave the refridgerator door open and put your feet up on their new furniture. These stages progress until they present you one day with a grandchild. Clearly you cannot encourage self-reliance in your child if you are not prepared to stand back and progressively let go. Doing that in the right amounts and at the right times is hard to judge. Add the dangers of their not managing daily diabetes treatment into it and you realize just how careful you need to be. Giving them responsibility and independence depends on the age and personality of your child and on your own particular circumstances. Children can become self-reliant only if we have encouraged their independence, given them practice in making decisions that concern themselves and their health, and shown them that they can be relied upon.
We have been given a special task, raising a diabetic child. This makes us special people. If we weren't up to it we wouldn't have been entrusted with it. Self-reliance is a critical part of raising any child, diabetic or not. Diabetes just makes it more difficult and more important we help our children develope this skill.
Next month I'll talk about Self-Control.
About the Author
Russell Turner is the father of a 10 year old Type 1 diabetic daughter. After diagnosis he found all kinds of medical information about diabetes on the internet. What he couldn't find was information about how to prepare his child and family to live with this disease. He started a website for parents of newly diagnosed diabetic children http://mychildhasdiabetes.com
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| American Diabetes Association Home Page |
| Their mission is to prevent and cure diabetes and to improve the lives of all people affected by this disease. Available in English and Spanish. |
| www.diabetes.org |
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| Diabetes Information - American Diabetes Association |
| The American Diabetes Association recommends the FPG because it is easier, ... Take the first steps toward better diabetes care by visiting the Diabetes ... |
| www.diabetes.org |
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| Diabetes UK home page - Diabetes UK |
| Diabetes UK is the largest organisation in the UK working for people with diabetes, funding research, campaigning and helping people live with the ... |
| www.diabetes.org.uk |
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| Canadian Diabetes Association |
| To promote the health of Canadians through diabetes research, education, service, and advocacy. |
| www.diabetes.ca |
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| Diabetes information including treating type 2 diabetes at ... |
| Offers dietary recommendations, including recipes and tips on managing blood sugar levels. From GlaxoSmithKline. |
| www.diabetes.com |
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| Diabetes |
| Web site for Diabetes. ... publishes Diabetes. Stanford University Libraries' HighWire Press ® assists in the publication of Diabetes Online ... |
| diabetes.diabetesjournals.org |
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| CDC Diabetes Public Health Resource |
| The diabetes information homepage of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, provided by the CDC’s Division of Diabetes Translation. |
| www.cdc.gov |
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| CDC - Health Topic: Diabetes |
| Diabetes · Diabetes and Research Diagnostics · Diabetes Surveillance Report · FAQ's on Diabetes · Physical Activity and Health: A Report of the Surgeon ... |
| www.cdc.gov |
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| National Diabetes Information Clearinghouse |
| Provides educational materials to increase knowledge and understanding about diabetes among patients, health care professionals, and the general public. |
| diabetes.niddk.nih.gov |
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| Diabetes mellitus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| For diabetes mellitus in pets, see diabetes in cats and dogs. ... Type 1 diabetes mellitus - formerly known as insulin-dependent diabetes (IDDM), ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| MedlinePlus: Diabetes |
| (National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases) - Links to PDF ... Select services and providers for Diabetes in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia: Diabetes |
| Diabetes affects about 18 million Americans. There are many risk factors for ... These levels are considered to be risk factors for type 2 diabetes and its ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| Diabetes |
| What to expect from your diabetes diagnosis? Get up-to-the-minute information about medications, insulin, blood sugar management, nutrition requirements, ... |
| diabetes.about.com |
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| WebMD Diabetes Health Center - Information on Type 1 and Type 2 ... |
| Find in-depth information here about diabetes prevention, diet, ... Study Shows Burned-Out Staffers More Likely to Get Type 2 DiabetesGo To Article ... |
| www.webmd.com |
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| WebMD Health - 404 Error |
| Allergies|Anxiety Disorders|Arthritis|Asthma|Back Pain|Bipolar Disorder|Cancer|Children's Health|Cholesterol|Depression| Diabetes|Diet & Nutrition|Erectile ... |
| www.webmd.com |
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| Diabetes Overview |
| Defines diabetes, including the various types and treatments. Provides information on the impact and cost of the disease, its increasing prevalence, ... |
| www.niddk.nih.gov |
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| Diabetes News - The New York Times |
| A free collection of articles about diabetes published in The New York Times. |
| topics.nytimes.com |
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| children with DIABETES Online Community |
| An online community for kids, families, and adults with diabetes, featuring message boards, chat rooms, and questions/answers from medical professionals. |
| www.childrenwithdiabetes.com |
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| International Diabetes Institute - Diabetes Research, Education ... |
| The International Diabetes Institute is the leading national and international centre for diabetes research, diabetes education and diabetes care. |
| www.diabetes.com.au |
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| Diabetes New Zealand |
| Educates and informs people about diabetes, its treatment, prevention, and cure of diabetes. |
| www.diabetes.org.nz |
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