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Teenage Suicide
Teenage Suicide
When we judge by the statistics, it is estimated that about
100,000 people kill themselves a year in the USA. Of this number
only 30,000 are reported as suicides. Of these 30,000 people,
2000 are in their teenage years.
First, the most important fact of suicide: Even if a person does
die by suicide, that doesn't mean he chose it. If he knew he
could have his life back without so much pain, he would choose
life. Suicide victims are not trying to end their life; they are
trying to end the pain.
Number one cause of suicide is depression. Depression is not
the same thing as the "blues". The blues are normal feelings.
Blues pass in a short time, say a couple of weeks. Depression
lingers on or comes to pester a person over and over again
carrying death.
Depression is a whole body disease affecting thoughts, feelings,
behavior, physical health, appearance, and all areas of a
person's home, work, school and social life. Yet, depression can
be treated successfully just like other illnesses such as
diabetes, pneumonia, ulcers, etc. Depression is an illness that
surfaces when triggered by a complex combination of genetic,
psychological and environmental factors. For its treatment,
therapy and very often medication are needed.
Anyone can get depression at any age. If someone is suffering
from depression, he is not weak or crazy; although, he may feel
like he is going crazy. He does not have a character flaw.
Having depression is not his fault. When a person has
depression, he cannot talk or think himself out of it.
Sometimes people who are severely depressed and contemplating
suicide don't have enough energy to carry it out. As the disease
begins to ease up, they may regain some of their energy, but may
still have feelings of hopelessness, even though in the outside,
they may seem to be calmer. At this time, they may try to kill
themselves because they feel they just can't fight it anymore.
If you feel a teen is thinking of suicide, the first thing to do
is to be direct. Ask them straight out if they want to kill
themselves. They may answer you with a joke, but make sure that
they understand you are serious and that they answer you
seriously.
Emergency measures if you feel that a person is about to kill
himself:
Do not leave the person alone unless you are in danger yourself.
Studies show that most people will not harm themselves when they
are with someone.
Listen to what the person says. What might seem trivial to you
can be overwhelming to the person in pain.
Be the link to get help. If you're a teen yourself call your
parents, their parents, another trusted adult, or better yet
911. If you are an adult, call the parents or any other help
available.
For suicide to happen three conditions are necessary:
1. Intense and excruciating psychological pain
2. Wish to die being greater and more persistent than the will
to live
3. An available self-injury method
Parents, family members, and friends should not panic, but they
should be on the alert when they hear certain statements,
especially when they are told in clusters, bits and pieces, and
a little too often. These following statements may be the
indication of depression as a disease:
"I feel guilty. I feel sad. I feel like crying a lot. I feel so
alone. I feel so helpless.
I don't have fun anymore. Sometimes I feel I can't go on living.
I don't want to go out with friends anymore. I feel "different"
from everyone else.
I don't really feel sad, just "empty". I feel like I'm in a fog.
I don't have any confidence in myself. I don't like myself.
I smile, but inside, I'm miserable.
I feel scared a lot of the time, but I don't know why.
I feel mad a lot, like I could just explode. I'm always getting
into trouble. Sometimes I do things that are dangerous or that
could hurt me. I use alcohol or drugs to escape or to mask
feelings.
I don't feel like talking--I just don't have anything to say.
I'm so restless and jittery. I just can't sit still. I can't
concentrate. I have a hard time remembering. I can't think
straight. My brain doesn't seem to "work".
I feel so disorganized, like my head is spinning.
I feel so self-conscious. I don't want to make decisions; it's
too much work.
I'm so tired, no matter how much sleep I get. I don't feel like
taking care of my appearance or myself. My whole body feels
slowed down; my speech, my walk, my movements.
Occasionally, my heart will pound very hard; I can't catch my
breath; I feel tingly; my vision seems strange; and I feel like
I might pass out. This passes in seconds, but I'm afraid it will
happen again. (This statement points to panic attacks.)
I'm frustrated with everything and everybody. I feel my life has
no direction.
I have trouble falling asleep or wake up in the middle of the
night and can't get back to sleep.
I don't feel like eating anymore. I feel I could eat all the
time. I've gained or lost a significant amount of weight.
I have headaches, stomachaches, backaches, and/or pain in my
arms and legs. I feel dizzy a lot.
My vision seems blurred or slow at times. Nothing I do makes me
feel better."
Signs of Trouble:
Abrupt changes in personality
Giving away possessions
Previous suicide attempt
Use of drugs and/or alcohol
Change in eating pattern - significant weight loss or gain
Change in sleeping pattern - insomnia or oversleeping
Unwillingness or inability to communicate
Extreme or extended boredom
Being careless and accident prone
Unusual sadness, discouragement or loneliness.
Talk of wanting to die - the words mostly used are: ending it
all, end, finish, stop
Neglect of academic work and/or personal appearance
Family disruptions - divorce, trauma, losing loved one
Running away from home or truancy from school
Rebelliousness - reckless behavior
Withdrawal from people/activities they love
Confusion - inability to concentrate
Chronic pain, panic or anxiety
Perfectionism or restlessness
Life Events That Could Trigger Suicide:
Major loss...of a loved one
Other major losses like a home, car, pet, prized possession
A trauma, or loss of a relationship
Divorce in the family
Problems with school or the law
Breakup of a romance
Unexpected pregnancy
A stressful family life (Having abusive parents, parents who are
depressed or are substance abusers, or a family history of
suicide)
Loss of security or fear of authority, peers, group or gang
members
Stress due to new situations; college or relocating to a new
community
Failing in school or failing to pass an important test
A serious illness or injury to oneself
Seriously injuring another person or causing another person's
death, maybe in a car accident
------------------
The following are the guidelines given by the Yellow Ribbon
organization.
To Help a Suicidal Teenager:
Deal with your own feelings first. The idea of young people
wanting to kill themselves is difficult for adults to grasp. The
first reaction is often shock or denial. Trust your feelings
when you think someone may be suicidal. A second reaction might
be efforts to argue, minimize, to discount the young person's
feelings of despair. Remember that most young people who
contemplate or attempt suicide are not intent on dying. Rather,
at the moment, the pain of living is more unbearable than the
fear of dying.
1. Listen, don't lecture. What the young person really needs in
this crisis period is someone who will listen to what is being
said. Try to understand from the teenager's viewpoint.
2. Accept what is said and treat it seriously. Do not judge. Do
not offer platitudes.
3. Ask directly if the individual is thinking of suicide. If the
teenager has not been thinking of suicide, he or she will tell
you. If the young person has been thinking of it, your asking
allows the opportunity to bring it out in the open. Isolation
and the feeling that there is no one to talk to compounds
suicidal thinking. You will not cause someone to commit suicide
by asking them if they are suicidal.
4. Talk openly and freely and try to determine whether the
person has a plan for suicide. The more detailed the plan, the
greater the risk. 5. Try to focus on the problem. Point out that
depression causes people to see only the negatives in their
lives and to be temporarily unable to see the positives. Elicit
from the person's past and present positive aspects which are
being ignored.
6. Help the young person to increase his/her perception of
alternatives to suicide. Look at what the young person hopes to
accomplish by suicide and generate alternative ways to reaching
the same goals. Help determine what needs to be done or changed.
7. Help the person recall how they used to cope. Get the person
to talk about a past problem and how it was resolved. What
coping skills did he or she use?
8. Evaluate the resources available and help identify the
resources needed to improve things. The individual may have both
inner psychological resources and outer resources in the
community that can be strengthened. If they are absent the
problem is much more serious. Your continuing observation and
support are vital.
9. Do not be misled by the teenager's comments that he/she is
past the emotional crisis. The person might feel initial relief
after talking of suicide, but the same thinking could recur
later.
10. Act respectfully. Do arrange with the person to be back in
contact within a few hours. Offer yourself as a caring and
concerned listener until professional assistance has been
obtained. 11. Do not avoid asking for assistance and
consultation. Call upon whomever is needed, depending upon the
severity of the case. Do not try to handle everything alone. Go
to the child's guidance counselor, principal, parents, minister,
etc. Seek out referrals from hotlines, etc. Convey an attitude
of firmness and composure so that the person will feel that
something appropriate and realistic is being done.
-----------
In the writing site, Writing.com, where I am a moderator and
there are many teens as members, once in a rare while, I run
across suicidal lines in the writings of those teens. I have put
together this information with the help of a psychiatrist who is
a member of my family. I hope that the information in this
article can help youngsters, loved ones, friends, or family
members.
About the author:
Joy Cagil is an author on Creative Writers . Her
background is in foreign languages and linguistics. She done
some therapy assistance work in a psychiatrist's office. Her
portfolio can be found at ht
tp://www2.writing.com/main/view_item/user_id/joycag/
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