|
|
Help! I’m Single For The First Time In Years!
You’re back on the dating scene. But you’re worried as it’s been a long time since you were single or looking. Regardless of how exciting and new it all seems, it’s only natural for one to feel unsure and ‘out of practice’ when taking the step of...
In Love? Don't Throw The Baby Out With The Bathwater
While Internet dating sites promise to help you find someone “compatible,” our intuition, and a look around at the married folks we know confirms that what usually happens is that “opposites attract.”
Of course it matters how you define...
The Quest for Intimacy and Passion: Challenges for the ACD
As you may know, the divorce rate continues to hover around fifty percent, where it has been now for some time. If half of marriages end in divorce today, it is likely that many of you—like me—are ACD’s—Adult Children of Divorce. How has our...
To All the Men I'll Never Love Again
Where do I begin to tell the stories of what a fatal sin it was falling for you all. I can do little but grin when I remember how a name of yours rings a heartache or two. And oh, how glad now I could rid myself of each one - old and new. I believe...
What Causes Separation Anxiety in Children?
While it can be comical, heart-breaking or occasionally even maddening, there is a perfectly logical explanation for Separation Anxiety in children. As a new parent, you probably enjoyed watching your child progress through the recognizable stages...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
5 Steps to Stress-Guard Your Family
5 Tips to Stress-Guard Your Family
Part 1: Recognize the importance of family stress management
Joe and Emily live in Southern California with their three young children. Both work and must commute 2 hours daily on busy freeways, often not getting home until 7:30 PM, exhausted and depleted.
Stressed, they have little patience for the antics of their young children. This results in frequent shouting matches, defiance on the part of the children, and escalating family tension.
As the above illustrates, stress is often an underlying cause of anger in family members. Sometimes the stress is caused by events outside of the family which family members bring into the home. In other cases, the behavior of family members creates stress and tension in the home. In either case, it becomes a problem when parents find themselves constantly yelling at their children or disagreeing with each other on parenting strategies.
In the meantime their children continue to do what they please—or continue bickering and fighting with each other. When not addressed, stress becomes a major factor in marital unhappiness and, ultimately, divorce.
Stress and family members Joe and Emily both suffered individual stress symptoms. These included fatigue, irritability, angry outbursts, headaches and a discontent with their lives. They began feeling increasingly distant from each other.
Their children were also stressed-out; tired, irritable, cranky, and demanding of attention. They often fought with each other and deliberately did things to get each other in trouble with their parents.
Symptoms of family stress
Just as individuals can become overloaded and stressed-out, so can families. To understand how this can happen, we must remember that families such as Joe and Emily’s are the basic building block of our society (like most societies).
Part 2: How empathy reduces family anger
Families consist of two or more people with shared goals and values and with a long term commitment to each other. Families are supposed to help children learn how to become responsible, successful, happy, and well-adjusted adults. When this no longer happens due to stress, the family unit becomes dysfunctional —as the family no longer serves its purpose fully, easily or consistently.
Individual isolation
We can recognize the
dysfunctional family by noting that parents and children no longer turn to each other for support, encouragement, guidance, or even love. Such family members may continue to live in the same house—but not feel emotionally attached to each other. They fail to view their family as a warm place to retreat to from the stresses and demands of the outside world.
Stress-Guard your family
Tip #1- Teach your children “resiliency” —the ability to handle stress and respond more positively to difficult events. Help your children practice “bouncing back” by emphasizing the importance of having friends and being a friend; setting new goals and plans to reach them, and believing in themselves.
Tip #2– Commit to stable family rituals.
Have a way to leave each other in the morning, and to re-connect in the evening; have a Sunday morning ritual or a Friday night family pizza ritual. Rituals create a sense of security and predictability —both excellent stress buffers.
Tip #3- Model and teach your children conflict resolution skills.
Children learn how to handle conflict by watching their parents. All couples have conflicts; better parents model good conflict resolution skills for their children. These skills include compromise, calm discussion, and focus on problem-solving. Encourage your children to find a way to resolve their own conflicts rather than jumping in and punishing one or the other child whom you think (perhaps, wrongly) is the troublemaker.
Tip #4– Introduce a family “better health” plan.
This includes proper nutrition, exercise, and adequate sleep each night. The family may also want to look at time management—and explore how how better time management might reduce both personal and family stress.
Tip #5- Minimize criticism and take time to support each other each day.
Excessive criticism is extremely harmful to both children and parents. Emotional support by family members is an extremely important buffer to family stress.
About the Author
Dr. Tony Fiore is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at www.angercoach.com and receive two bonus reports.
|
|
|
|
|
divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
www.divorce.co.uk |
  |
Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
www.divorcemag.com |
  |
Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
  |
DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ... |
www.divorcenet.com |
  |
The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area. |
www.divorcesupport.com |
  |
Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ... |
www.divorcesource.com |
  |
DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
www.divorceinfo.com |
  |
Divorce - Wex |
An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
www.law.cornell.edu |
  |
MedlinePlus: Divorce |
Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
www.nlm.nih.gov |
  |
Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
www.divorceaid.co.uk |
  |
Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
www.divorce-online.co.uk |
  |
How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
www.divorceasfriends.com |
  |
Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
www.divorceonline.com |
  |
Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
www.divorce.gov.au |
  |
DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
www.divorcecare.com |
  |
Divorce Central Home Page |
Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
www.divorcecentral.com |
  |
Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
www.divorcehelp.com |
  |
Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
www.direct.gov.uk |
  |
Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
www.divorcereform.org |
  |
Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
www.divorcebusting.com |
  |
|