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Children and Divorce
You and your spouse have decided to end your marriage. Although this has been a difficult decision for you and your spouse, it can be a very complicated one for your children. Divorce in many ways is like facing a death in the family, and a grieving...
Getting Raw Land Not A Raw Deal
There is more to buying raw land than meets the eye and more than a few individuals have wished they’d had a second chance upon finding themselves duped, conned, misled, ill-advised, uninformed, oversold, undereducated and often unprepared. They...
If You Really Need A Dating Quiz, Maybe You Shouldn't Be Dating
Q. My boyfriend failed a dating quiz. Should I dump him?
A. If you're the type that hates to be dumped, then you should dump him before he finds out that you even asked this question. If you put so much value on a dating quiz that you're...
It Pays For Single Christians To Date Other Like-Minded People
Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's greatest challenges.
Afterall, forever is a long time. You want to make the right decision.
Dating itself can be really trying. It can be hard to find the right people. What if they...
Top 4 Reasons Women Ride The “Emotional Roller-Coaster”
1. Women have learned and are in the habit of being driven by the approval of others. Most women allow the expectations of others to define them and therefore making the approval of others is responsible for their happiness. This pattern gives...
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Are You Trying too Hard to Be Happy?
We all want to be happy. However, if a woman pushes herself to emotional and mental exhaustion in order to reach “perfect” happiness, she could suffer from a condition she probably has never heard of: Missing Mother Syndrome.
When Megan Meadows (not her real name) came to me, she just wanted to lose weight. “Look at me!” she shouted, pinching her thighs. “I am fat! I am ugly! I hate my body!” Well, there was some middle-age spread, but she certainly was a very nice looking woman. Where did all this self-hate come from?
I am a Meridian Therapy practitioner who uses EFT, a form of emotional acupressure, to release negative emotions. Tapping with the fingertips on certain energy points on the body while being “tuned in” to the problem, does stop food cravings. EFT is quite successful when it comes to weight loss. However, I realized that Megan’s real challenges went far deeper than what she perceived right now as her “big” problem. She mentioned that her mom had recently died, and that brought up the sad story of her childhood. ”I didn’t have a mother”, Megan said. “She was always gone, and when she was there, she tried to create the little girl of her dreams - she did not want me. I was a very lonely child.”
The way I saw it, Megan has been suffering all her life from “Missing Mother Syndrome”.
When Hope Edelman published her book "Motherless Daughters – The Legacy of Loss” in 1994, everyone who belonged to the secret sisterhood of women traumatized by early mother loss, had a revelation: That's exactly how I feel - and I am not alone!
Growing up without the secure presence of a loving, supportive mother implies much more than lacking a same-sex role model. It is devastating. Since the mother is the first, the basic caretaker, losing her -in a physical or emotional way- starts a nightmare of deprivation for a child. In a way, it never ends. Many negative conditions and feelings experienced later in life may have their roots in this extremely traumatic experience.
You could suffer from “Missing Mother Syndrome” if you experience the following conditions on a regular basis:
You feel lost, out of place, and
unsafe in this world
There is an underlying sadness in your life, even if nothing is wrong
You tend to feel lonely and depressed, especially at other people's "Happy Family" gatherings
You hate your body or are unsure about "being a woman"
You have abandonment or anger issues that hurt your relationships
You experience social stress - You either try to stay invisible, or you have a compulsion to be in the limelight
Any major crisis in your life, like a divorce, job loss, or bereavement, throws you right back into the painful past
There is a lot of fear, anxiety, or even guilt and shame in your life
You feel homesick without knowing where "home" is
You are trying too hard to be happy and "perfect"
You take rejection very personally
You believe that everybody else gets their act together - except for you
With tapping, deep seated negative emotions and painful memories are brought to the surface and released – fast and with little additional distress. Gary Craig, the founder of EFT: “EFT has a high success rate with trauma and abuse issues, especially when applied to specific events.”
Happiness is not a single, solid “thing” one can chase down doggedly, obtain and possess. It is rather a fluid quality that evolves naturally, when the obstructions that keep it from being are dissolved. Childhood trauma is certainly one of the main obstructions. Sometimes, a condition that is obvious, is not the real problem. To recognize that “Missing Mother Syndrome” is the underlying cause of never feeling “right”, can be the first step on a woman’s Healing Journey.
Carna Zacharias-Miller, EFT-CC, EFT-ADV, is a spiritual writer and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) practitioner in Florida. She offers live and telephone sessions. Her specialty is helping “Motherless Daughters” to release the painful past and heal their hearts. E-Mail: info@missingmother.com Website: www.missingmother.com
Copyright Carna Zacharias-Miller - www.missingmother.com
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| divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
| An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
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| Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
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| Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
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| DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
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| Divorce - Wex |
| An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
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| MedlinePlus: Divorce |
| Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
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| Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
| The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
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| How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
| Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
| www.divorceasfriends.com |
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| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
| An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
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| Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
| In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
| www.divorce.gov.au |
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| DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
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| Divorce Central Home Page |
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| Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
| Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
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| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
| Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
| www.direct.gov.uk |
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| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
| John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
| www.divorcereform.org |
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| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
| Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
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