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Daddy Moves To An Apartment
Divorce is hard, there’s no question about it. Not only has your marriage ended but, most likely, your lifestyle is undergoing some drastic changes also. This is especially true if you are forced to leave the place that was home to you and your...
How to Get Back the Man You Married
Rekindle the romance that brought you together
When my parents were growing up, during the depression and the
war years that followed, married couples were not accustomed to
worrying about romantic and emotional needs. Later, my mother
was...
Lessons from the Ultimate Declutter
The Chinese say if you want to make big changes in your life, move 27 things in your home.
Imagine the change you can create by moving thousands of things. You can use the potentially stressful situation of moving house to consciously design...
Vasectomy Reversal - A Personal Story
This article is a very personal one, but one I wanted to share with you, as there are always tens of thousands of men considering whether to have a vasectomy reversal. The desire for a vasectomy reversal can come from two main causes: divorce or...
You CAN Improve Your Relationship
It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. It’s as if people believe that we are born with an inherent...
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Are You Trying too Hard to Be Happy?
We all want to be happy. However, if a woman pushes herself to emotional and mental exhaustion in order to reach “perfect” happiness, she could suffer from a condition she probably has never heard of: Missing Mother Syndrome.
When Megan Meadows (not her real name) came to me, she just wanted to lose weight. “Look at me!” she shouted, pinching her thighs. “I am fat! I am ugly! I hate my body!” Well, there was some middle-age spread, but she certainly was a very nice looking woman. Where did all this self-hate come from?
I am a Meridian Therapy practitioner who uses EFT, a form of emotional acupressure, to release negative emotions. Tapping with the fingertips on certain energy points on the body while being “tuned in” to the problem, does stop food cravings. EFT is quite successful when it comes to weight loss. However, I realized that Megan’s real challenges went far deeper than what she perceived right now as her “big” problem. She mentioned that her mom had recently died, and that brought up the sad story of her childhood. ”I didn’t have a mother”, Megan said. “She was always gone, and when she was there, she tried to create the little girl of her dreams - she did not want me. I was a very lonely child.”
The way I saw it, Megan has been suffering all her life from “Missing Mother Syndrome”.
When Hope Edelman published her book "Motherless Daughters – The Legacy of Loss” in 1994, everyone who belonged to the secret sisterhood of women traumatized by early mother loss, had a revelation: That's exactly how I feel - and I am not alone!
Growing up without the secure presence of a loving, supportive mother implies much more than lacking a same-sex role model. It is devastating. Since the mother is the first, the basic caretaker, losing her -in a physical or emotional way- starts a nightmare of deprivation for a child. In a way, it never ends. Many negative conditions and feelings experienced later in life may have their roots in this extremely traumatic experience.
You could suffer from “Missing Mother Syndrome” if you experience the following conditions on a regular basis:
You feel lost, out of place, and
unsafe in this world
There is an underlying sadness in your life, even if nothing is wrong
You tend to feel lonely and depressed, especially at other people's "Happy Family" gatherings
You hate your body or are unsure about "being a woman"
You have abandonment or anger issues that hurt your relationships
You experience social stress - You either try to stay invisible, or you have a compulsion to be in the limelight
Any major crisis in your life, like a divorce, job loss, or bereavement, throws you right back into the painful past
There is a lot of fear, anxiety, or even guilt and shame in your life
You feel homesick without knowing where "home" is
You are trying too hard to be happy and "perfect"
You take rejection very personally
You believe that everybody else gets their act together - except for you
With tapping, deep seated negative emotions and painful memories are brought to the surface and released – fast and with little additional distress. Gary Craig, the founder of EFT: “EFT has a high success rate with trauma and abuse issues, especially when applied to specific events.”
Happiness is not a single, solid “thing” one can chase down doggedly, obtain and possess. It is rather a fluid quality that evolves naturally, when the obstructions that keep it from being are dissolved. Childhood trauma is certainly one of the main obstructions. Sometimes, a condition that is obvious, is not the real problem. To recognize that “Missing Mother Syndrome” is the underlying cause of never feeling “right”, can be the first step on a woman’s Healing Journey.
Carna Zacharias-Miller, EFT-CC, EFT-ADV, is a spiritual writer and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) practitioner in Florida. She offers live and telephone sessions. Her specialty is helping “Motherless Daughters” to release the painful past and heal their hearts. E-Mail: info@missingmother.com Website: www.missingmother.com
Copyright Carna Zacharias-Miller - www.missingmother.com
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| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
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| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
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