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Go Between
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 16, 2003
I enjoy reading your column every week. I want to tell you about a family problem I am having at present. Recently our youngest daughter divorced after 22 years of marriage and two...
Reasons For Breach in Marital Relations
Marriage is a most
pious term in the dictionary of social institution. It is not
only a lifetime bond between two persons but also a bond between
two families. Divorce on the other
hand is heartbreaking end of this relationship. It...
Wedding Invitations—Today’s Etiquette and Wording
The look of the wedding invitations you send will not only says a lot about you and your husband-to-be they will also convey a fair amount of information about your upcoming ceremony. So it is important to plan the type of wedding you will have...
Wise Women Money Quiz: How Money-Wise Are You?
Wise Women Money Quiz: How Money-Wise Are You?
Awareness is the first step in gaining financial freedom.
Test Your Knowledge
Do you know where you stand in terms of Money Smarts?
The following questions are based on Oppenheimer Funds...
Women Who ‘Wear The Pants In The Family’
I know right from the start that this is going to be a very controversial article, but in order to understand our modern relationship dynamics it must be looked at.
Before I say too much I want to once again acknowledge that strong...
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Attract a Good and Sexy Man at Any Age
"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."
-Richard Bach
A couple of weeks ago, a TV morning show did a segment on dating
for women over the age of forty. The gist? After 39 you have a
better chance of winning Powerball than of finding a man who'd
actually want to date somebody so old, crotchety, and utterly
undesirable.
The subject of the piece was a recently divorced 44-year-old
who's been trying to land herself a new man, with no success.
The kicker? She was an absolutely gorgeous woman.
She dated an oil magnate in his 60s, who had the audacity to
tell her she was just too old for him. "Why must you go out with
much younger women?" she asked. "Because I can," came the answer.
The perky TV hostess chimed in, claiming that she knew of one
rich and successful geezer who has a rule about the women he
dates: Half his age plus seven years.
Watching this, I could understand how women would be sucked into
believing that no man in his right mind would dream of dating a
woman over 40. But then I did a reality check: I don't know any
man who wouldn't (and some of those men are well under 40!).
The fact is, if you think you're too old to attract a good man,
you are. Don't let yourself be lulled into the middle-aged
mindset (what is middle age, by the way, and when exactly does
it begin?). You know you've bought into it when you start
telling yourself you can't do the things you used to anymore,
that your best years are behind you, and you'd better not hit
the singles' scene without a trip to the plastic surgeon first.
It's just not true!
My very good (and handsome, smart, and fun-loving) friend was 37
when his 15-year relationship ended. After a reasonable mourning
period, he dated a 41-year-old woman steadily and happily for at
least two years. That relationship ended when she relocated to
another state for her career. About six months later, he began
dating a woman just one year his junior (instead of a
20-year-old with a belly ring) and eventually proposed to her.
They remain very happily married three years later.
My friend's mother was widowed in her 50s. After a couple of
years, she met and wed a man her age. They were married over 20
years when he died two years ago; at the time, she was well into
her 70s. At a graduation party for her granddaughter last
summer, men her age lined up to dance with her. (They definitely
weren't pity dances, either). She's vital, attractive, and
clearly enjoys life. Men (the ones who view women as humans
instead of hood ornaments, anyway) appreciate that.
Then there's Kay, a 48-year-old real estate agent, who thought
she'd never meet a decent guy (I have known Kay for decades; she
dated
a parade of creeps and nice but boring guys). She's the
type of woman who hits the Y to do a few laps before work. After
five, she often hops the train to New York to catch a musical or
a concert. She had pretty much given up on love when she met
Barry, a 50-something podiatrist, three years ago.
Last week, she called me with fantastic news. "He wants to marry
me," she said, "and I've decided to go for it. I've given him
ample opportunity to hit the highway, but he won't go away. And
I'm crazy about him."
So, you're never too old for love. The key is to allow yourself
to stay young and attractive forever. Here's how:
1) Turn off the TV. Stop allowing yourself to be assaulted by
messages that make you feel you're old, fat, ugly, and just
plain not good enough for love and happiness.
2) Forbid yourself from making the following statements (I know
women who started at 25): "I can't do that because I'm older
now," "Well, it comes with age, I guess," "I always wanted to be
a __________, but it's too late." In other words, refuse to let
your age stop you from doing anything.
3) Learn something new every day. Book a flight (or go to the
library and take out a travel video about a place you've always
wanted to visit). Learn how to change a tire. Stop and say hello
to your neighbors instead of giving a perfunctory wave and
buzzing past them. Learn to dance. Take up yoga. Learn a second
language.
4) Use an affirmation. I know a man who spent his entire adult
life joking, "I'm younger than springtime," whenever somebody
suggested he was getting on in years. At 74, he's in excellent
health, is considered handsome by women of all ages (sorry,
women under 68, you're not seasoned enough for him!), and may
begin a new career because he finds retirement boring.
If you leave your house with the attitude that you're past your
prime, trust me, people will agree with you. And if you go out
on a date wondering if you're "too old for this guy," you'll
give off the I-know-you're-going-to-reject-me vibe that ensures
you will indeed be cast aside for someone bubblier and more
confident.
If you should ever find yourself out with a guy who seems turned
off by your age, thank your lucky stars that you saw the poor
schmo for what he is from the start: Shallow, ignorant, and more
than a little sad. The world is full of wonderful men who want
to meet a woman they don't have to help with their homework.
About the author:
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the happily married author of "How to
Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Sign up for her free
dating ezine at http://www.marrysmart.com . Visit her blog at
http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com .
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| divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
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| Divorce - Wex |
| An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
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| MedlinePlus: Divorce |
| Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
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| How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
| Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
| www.divorceasfriends.com |
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| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
| An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
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| Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
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| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
| Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
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| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
| John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
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| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
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