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HOW TO CREATE A GOOD SELF IMAGE
The Man In The Looking Glass
"When you get what you want in your struggle for self and the world makes you king for a day Then go to a mirror and look at yourself and see what your face has to say for it isn't your father, or mother or wife who...
It Pays For Single Christians To Date Other Like-Minded People
Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's greatest challenges.
Afterall, forever is a long time. You want to make the right decision.
Dating itself can be really trying. It can be hard to find the right people. What if they...
Parental Hostility: What Will This Bring To Your Children's Life?
One of the most important factors influencing kids' adjustments to their parents' separation or divorce is the level of parental hostility. How bad or how well children go through the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. To give you...
Successful Career, Rocky Relationship?
While you’re soaring with the eagles at work, things are about as low as they can get on the home front. This is a quandary many people before you have had, but within the situation is an opportunity to evaluate life.
Often it takes a...
'Tis The Season
‘Tis the Season to be Jolly?
By Dr. Susan Rempel
I was listening to one of my favorite radio talk programs today. The topic of the hour was “do you feel burdened by Christmas?” Much to my amazement the host, and the majority of his guests,...
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Is Conflict Healthy In Marriage?
Today my three-year-old daughter told my husband that she wants to be married. When he asked her why, she replied, "Because you get to be nice to one another".
Are you nice to your partner? Or do you find yourself involved in heated competition, endless cycles of discord, and/or tiresome critical thinking?
According to Diane Sollee, founder of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE), "Every happy, successful couple has approximately ten areas of 'incompatibility' or disagreement that they will never resolve." In other words, it's possible to disagree with your spouse and still have a fulfilling relationship. It's all in how you do it.
Because you and your spouse may have ten issues that you will not be able to agree upon at any given time, how will you be able to resolve these conflicts and maintain a happy medium in your household?
First and foremost don't avoid or side step the concerns that each of you have. Conflict in marriage is not an "if", but rather a "when". And according to Sollee, avoidance is one of the key factors determining a couple's separation and divorce. Make sure you voice your opinions, but do it with the understanding that you don't need to change your spouse. Focus, rather, on the way you present yourself in times of conflict.
Secondly, welcome and embrace change. While you have committed to "love until death", you haven't promised to stay the same through the course of your life. Everyone is learning and growing at different paces and in different places. Don't let this growth, change the positive ways you act towards your husband or wife.
Next, understand that even if you were to divorce and
remarry, you would still have to deal with the short comings of your new partner and they would have to deal with yours. You'd just have a new set of disagreements. Nobody's perfect. Realizing this fact and internalizing it, will give you a better grip on how to cope with the irreconcilable differences you have in your current marriage.
Finally, don't let your disagreements contaminate the rest of your relationship. Choose to exhibit positive behaviors towards your spouse. Deciding to become more affectionate or offering encouraging words on a regular basis can go a long way. It will get you through some tough times. Often partners eventually mirror each other's behavior inside and outside of their disagreements.
Don't let conflict put a sour taste in your relationship. If you want to have a healthy and happy marriage, your goal can be to agree with the understanding that disagreeing is a part of life.
For more information about Diane Sollee and the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education visit http://www.smartmarriages.com
About the Author: Keishia Lee-Louis is the Executive Editor of http://www.Married4Good.com (November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in many other publications. Currently, she's writing a book on marriage, which will be published in 2006. If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://married4good.blogspot.com.
Source: www.isnare.com
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| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
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| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
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| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
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| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
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