|
|
"5 Ways To Ensure You Will Have a Happy Life After Divorce"
Life after divorce is something that most people who are going through divorce think about. Thinking about having a life after divorce or thinking about how your life will be after divorce, are common because people tend to fear for themselves. In...
Are You Ever Worried That Your Husband Is Having An Affair?
As our marriage relationship evolves through time, there may be a few bumps in the road that lead us to question whether or not our husband is having an affair. Here are some tips to help safe guard your relationship.
Emotional Intimacy Keeps A...
Chasing After Child Support
Child support is often a source of contention between divorced parents of minor children. I understand this. I have been there. In an ideal situation, the parent who is responsible for paying child support does so out of love for his or her...
Common Relationship Problems
The essential problem in any bad relationship is a breakdown in communication between the two partners. No matter what the issues are (money, infidelity, etc.), the real problem is that the two partners haven’t been talking openly to each other...
Marriage - Miscommunication... Root Cause of Problems?
People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments and fights. It's that situation when one thinks he has the right concept while the other one also believes he has the proper notion. Both of them would try to outsmart each other until one claims...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Is your life’s purpose for sale?
Is your life’s purpose for sale?
There is no purpose too big or too small
By Craig Nathanson
Meet Joe. He’s a middle-aged bridge toll-taker in the San Francisco Bay Area. In a recent interview, Joe said he loves the role he has filled for the last 12 years. The job suits his purpose. He said: “If I can help someone start their day off right in the few seconds when they are handing me [the toll], I feel I have made a difference in the day and life of another person.”
Meet Mel. He’s a veteran New York City street sweeper who works through the night clearing away the previous day’s debris. Mel ran into Craig Nathanson, The Vocational Coach, one morning after Craig’s run in Central Park. Mel said: “Nothing makes me happier than making sure no one has to step on garbage when they start out their day on my street.” He has been sweeping the same four square city blocks for 30 years.
Meet Minna Valentine, a.k.a. “The Reading Doctor.” A past client of Craig’s, she’s a former marketing executive who ditched the corporate world to teach English as a second language. This is her take on the changes she made in her vocational path: “Teaching others makes me feel like I am contributing to something worthwhile.”
Joe, Mel, and Minna each go to work every day knowing they will make a difference to someone. They are grateful to be able to do so. There are many so-called high achievers earning six-figure salaries that cannot make that claim.
Why is living with purpose critical in mid-life?
In mid-life, many people find themselves suddenly questioning everything – careers, lifestyles, and priorities. Nothing is spared from this examination, although few will discuss their fears.
Often it takes a personal crisis – a layoff, a death, or a divorce – to move people from introspection to action. When these events occur, they open up a small window of opportunity to challenge everything and consider a new course.
Inner questioning is critical in mid-life. If a person hopes to achieve greater meaning and self-fulfillment, things are never easy. It requires courage and a leap of faith.
Craig speaks from experience. A few years ago, he came home from his six-figure job and announced to his family that he was quitting. He no longer found meaning and fulfillment in what he was doing. That was his first leap of faith.
How do I find and live with purpose?
Finding the “meaning of life” is not self-indulgent or cliché. It is the essence of why we are here. If there is no meaning, then what is the point of existence? In order to create a path toward meaning, in our jobs and in our lives, we need to begin with an evaluation process that challenges.
- Fill in the blank: “The purpose of my life is …” Keep saying it until you find an answer. Then write it down.
- Make an honest self-assessment of your current state. Exclude external input or validation. Are you driven? A procrastinator? Happy? Sad? Energetic? Lethargic? Generous? Selfish? Adventurous? Conservative? Etc.
- Define the experiences you need now to feel fully alive. Then, develop a plan to have those experiences. Do you want to travel to China before you turn 50? Have you always wanted to sing in front of a large audience? Have you always wanted to study to become a chef? Have you always wanted to run a marathon? Etc.
-
Define exactly what you’re passionate about and where you want to make a contribution. Is it music? Teaching? Sports? Photography? Cooking? Academics? Etc.
- Define what is most important to you. Then, set short- and long-term goals that are aligned with these priorities. Without a clear path, goals are mere daydreams. Set up a process to monitor your progress.
- Define the new experiences that you must have to add a greater sense of meaning and fulfillment to your life. Do you need to start cooking more? Traveling? Taking classes? Skydiving? Etc.
- Define your beliefs about yourself. Then, change the ones that are no longer useful. Do you believe you are deserving of doing what you love? Or do you believe that work is not meant to be fun and meaningful?
Dr. James Hollis, a scholar on philosopher Carl Jung and a writer on mid-life issues, said that as we grow older, both meaning and purpose become equal. Both are needed to thrive. Also, Jung wrote that early in life, meaning is derived through preparation for living. In later years, meaning is derived through an examination of the inner self.
What are the results of living with purpose in mid-life?
Victor Frankl, a Nazi death camp survivor, believed that the urge of human beings to search for meaning is inborn. Researcher Martin Bolt said that having meaning and a defined purpose in a person’s life makes it possible to accept one’s own mortality with less fear of death and a greater sense of life’s plans and their meaning.
Mid-life adults with purpose can experience:
- A greater sense of integrity and authenticity;
- An experience of being more alive;
- An increased feeling of contribution;
- Stronger health and psychological wellbeing;
- A life that’s more congruent;
- An acceptance of their own mortality and, as a result, less fear of death and a greater sense of their life plans and their meaning;
- A feeling of greater control over their lives and a feeling that their life matters;
- An increased sense of self-esteem and happiness.
Is this enough incentive for you?
You can discover and live a more purposeful life now. Don’t simply surrender to a world that will continue to rent your skills to suit its purposes. A greater second half is possible if you take action now!
Remember Mel, Joe, and Minna? What connects them is that neither fits into a conventional definition of success. Yet pursuing conventionally defined success has led so many people on a journey that ends with disappointment and a crisis of introspection that Mel and Joe probably haven’t experienced. Minna, in contrast, is a good – and unfortunately rare – example of someone who pursued conventional success, found it wanting, and then had the courage to make a change that didn’t lead to material riches. But her life itself was made richer.
Craig Nathanson, The Vocational Coach, works with those over 40 to discover and do the work they love. He is the author of “P Is For Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day,” by Book Coach Press. He publishes the free monthly e-zine, “Vocational Passion in Mid-life.” Craig believes the world works a little better when we do the work we love. Visit his online community at http://www.thevocationalcoach.com where you can sign up for his monthly Tele-class.
|
|
|
|
|
divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
www.divorce.co.uk |
  |
Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
www.divorcemag.com |
  |
Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
  |
DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ... |
www.divorcenet.com |
  |
The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area. |
www.divorcesupport.com |
  |
Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ... |
www.divorcesource.com |
  |
DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
www.divorceinfo.com |
  |
Divorce - Wex |
An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
www.law.cornell.edu |
  |
MedlinePlus: Divorce |
Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
www.nlm.nih.gov |
  |
Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
www.divorceaid.co.uk |
  |
Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
www.divorce-online.co.uk |
  |
How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
www.divorceasfriends.com |
  |
Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
www.divorceonline.com |
  |
Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
www.divorce.gov.au |
  |
DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
www.divorcecare.com |
  |
Divorce Central Home Page |
Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
www.divorcecentral.com |
  |
Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
www.divorcehelp.com |
  |
Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
www.direct.gov.uk |
  |
Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
www.divorcereform.org |
  |
Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
www.divorcebusting.com |
  |
|