|
|
|
Chasing After Child Support
Child support is often a source of contention between divorced parents of minor children. I understand this. I have been there. In an ideal situation, the parent who is responsible for paying child support does so out of love for his or her...
Fighting Back!
Copyright 2005 Randy Stafford
I’m not going to accept any “FACTS” from doctors. Boy, was that a harsh statement. What a way to start an article. I was just diagnosed with advance stages of Arthritis in my lower back. Both shoulders has bursitis...
The Absentee Parent - Parenting From A Distance
You want to be able to continue having a great relationship with your kids after separation
or divorce. This means focusing on the kids rather than your ex-partner. You need to be
parents rather than partners.
Breaking up is difficult...
The Girl in My College
Love. What is it? the sweet sayings? the kisses? the romance? or maybe, the sex? No; it is not in any of these! And mind you, it is not deceit either. Or promises made and not kept. Yes. I call it sincerity and understanding.
There...
What It's All About
For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence -- and when I say ordinary I mean a contented, 'far from perfect' way of life. And that's okay...until something major happens to rock the boat. Divorce, illness, redundancy, an...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
MAMA DIES
Mama Dies
This is story #33 out of 50 from my book, “My Walk With the Lord”. This story is dedicated in memory of my mother, Mary Ruth Winn Rozier, October 22, 1929 thru January 7, 2001.
Proverbs 31:31 “Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”
Mama was tired, her body was frail, and her spirit was broken. She had fought a good fight, but the battle scars were too many. She was 71 years old and weighed 71 pounds. As I briefly touch on some of the events in her life, you will understand her desires to go home to rest.
Mama and her twin sister were born October 22, 1929. Her parents, Archie and Ruth Gill Winn, named them Mary and Mildred. Aunt Mildred was tall and thin, and Mama was shorter and had more meat on her bones. They grew up in South Georgia with six other siblings. Uncle Jasper was killed in World War II so I never knew him. Her two other brothers and three other sisters were all kind and humble people. One thing about Mama’s family was the love they had one for the other. Materially they were not rich, but the good Lord had richly blessed them in the things that money can’t buy. As I write this, I can remember growing up as a child and later during my adulthood of being around all those aunts, uncles, cousins and of course grandpa and granny. Mama passed on this value of family to me and my four sisters.
Grandpa Winn died on November 17, 1963 just a few days before President Kennedy was killed. Granny died May 20, 1986. One by one their children followed them in death. As I write this today, May 25, 2003, only Mama’s twin, Aunt Mildred, and her baby sister, Aunt Ida Mae Walker, are still living.
Mama and Daddy married young. Daddy had served in the Pacific in the later part of World War II and as most young men of those days was happy to get back home and marry his sweetheart. My oldest sister was born in 1948, followed by next sister in 1949, then me in 1952, my next sister in 1953, and then my baby sister in 1956. I believe they wanted a brother for me, but it didn’t happen. I wouldn’t take all the money in the world for my sisters! They are all smart, wonderful mothers, super good cooks, and very compassionate and loving. Their names (in order are):
Shirley, Evelyn, Linda and Joanne. I always remember Daddy saying, “God has surely given me beautiful girls!”
Mama and Daddy struggled financially at first. The small 2 bedroom frame home couldn’t hold all of us. This house didn’t have an indoor bathroom (we had a chamber pot and an outhouse). I remember Mama heating water on the stove so us children could bathe in a number two washtub (a galvanized tub about three feet diameter). Daddy sold furniture and picked up odd jobs to make ends meet. Then one day something wonderful happened to him. He was born again!
Once a man becomes a new creature in Jesus Christ, he begins to pray for his family. A few years after his salvation, the Lord called Daddy to preach and he was ordained as a minister.
Daddy’s prayers for a better paying job were answered and we moved from Patterson to Blackshear. I was seven years old when we moved to a rented house with an indoor bathroom. The girls and Mama were happy!
Well, Daddy continued to pray. He wanted us to have our own place. God answered this prayer and in 1962 we moved to a 15 acre pecan orchard. We had a house, barn, chickens, hogs, cows, ducks and a good garden spot.
Daddy was pleased. He was a pastor of a neighborhood church and continued to sell and deliver furniture.
Mama was 37 when the Lord called Daddy home. There were four of us left at home. For the next ten years, Mama was a single parent. She made many personal sacrifices for us. She also trusted God and He helped her to raise us.
In 1976, she remarried a good man, Euell Deal. He only lived about two and one half years after she remarried. At 49 years of age, Mama had lost two husbands yet by God’s grace and comfort, she continued on.
In 1980, she remarried. This time, the man was not so good. At first he was; he went to church, took Mama places, and was pretty good to her. Mama was reasonably happy and content with her life.
Then the false Christian reared his ugly head. First, he started with mental abuse, then physical, and sexual abuse. Over the years, this stress took a toil on Mama. She wouldn’t talk much about it, she would say, “You just don’t know.” You see, she was unequally yoked. Here she was a lamb, and she was plowing with a jackass.
Her health begin to deteriorate. One thing right after another. She fell and broke her pelvis in four places. She
experienced anxiety attacks. Her nerves were all to pieces.
Finally, in 1998, she went to live at Baptist Village, a retirement home in Waycross. Several years earlier, Mama had worked there, and she liked the place. She refused to be divorced from this “man” so she was still married. This move got her away from him. She was improving but other problems popped up and she gradually went down hill.
On January 5, 2001, I received a telephone call from Baptist Village. Mama took a turn for the worse. I went over there and just sat. It was just the two of us. I sure did hate to see her suffer so. Her breathing was labored and as I looked at her, I thought soon her labors will be over.
Around 12:30 PM, the next day, our family began to gather in her room. We would talk to her and smooth her fevered face with a cool rag. One of the staff stated, “She probably won’t last two hours.” Little did they know about the inner strength my Mama possessed. As her children, grandchildren, sisters, other relatives, and friends would come and have short visits, I knew Mama recognized the voices of the ones she loved. Later that Saturday night, around 11:30 PM, I bent over and whispered in Mama’s ear, “Mama, it’s all right to go ahead and rest. We will be fine. Tell Daddy I said hello when you get home.”
Mama hung on until her granddaughter, Erin, arrived after midnight. Her breathing became more and more labored and her fever rose. About 1:25 AM, I felt the presence of the Holy Ghost as the words of a song came to my mind. The words were: “It hurt us so to see Mama go, to be gone forever more. But before she closed her eyes in death, I heard a knocking on the door. A band of angels just walked in to take her home to glory.”
I felt a slight breeze and at 1:32 AM, January 7, 2001, Mama was carried by the angels to her new home. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
Sunday morning, I went to preach at the nursing home, and that evening we gathered at the funeral home to make arrangements. Several years earlier, Mama had wanted me to go there with her and look at coffins and make some preliminary funeral arrangements. She liked Mitchell Bowen who was part owner of the funeral home. She thought Mitchell would do (later, Mitchell ran for and won the county commissioner race. When he asked me to vote for him, I said, “Mitchell, you got my vote. Mama thought highly of you and that’s good enough for me.”). Well, I didn’t know that the funeral home had changed ownership. Blake Smith had bought it and Mama’s was to be his first funeral. Blake is a young man who is ideally suited for this profession. His genuine concern, professionalism, and support are rare in this day and age.
At the funeral wake, over 700 people came by to pay their last respects to my Mama. She had touched many lives with her quiet, humble, gentle ways. She was now reaping what she had sowed over the years.
The chapel was overflowing at Mama’s funeral service. The flowers were so bountiful and so beautiful. Mama did love flowers. I had the special honor of speaking a few words during the funeral service. I quoted this scripture: Matthew 25, verses 34-36: “Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.” This scripture described Mama to a tee.
The Lord anointed the two preachers, he anointed the singing, and sent us comfort for our loss. It was a sweet service for a sweet Mama. Thank you Lord that you care for your “Little children”.
Mama still lives in our hearts and memories. Most importantly, things were okay between her and her Lord. I’ll see her again one day, never to be separated again.
Luke 2.19: “But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.”
Copyright 2003 Irvin L. Rozier
FOOTNOTE; In late November, 2003, I was interviewed by our local paper, THE BLACKSHEAR TIMES, about the publication of my book. Before we started, the reporter, Jason Deal, said, “I want to show you something”. He handed me a graduation card my Mama had sent him about ten years earlier. It was Mama’s handwriting that said congratulations upon your accomplishment. This had a double meaning to me...showed one of the people my Mama touched and it was like her saying to me, “Congrats on writing and publishing your book.”
About the Author
author, preacher, retired US Army
|
|
|
|
|
| divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
| An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
| www.divorce.co.uk |
|
| Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
| Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcemag.com |
|
| Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
| DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ... |
| www.divorcenet.com |
|
| The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
| a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area. |
| www.divorcesupport.com |
|
| Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
| A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ... |
| www.divorcesource.com |
|
| DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
| Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
| www.divorceinfo.com |
|
| Divorce - Wex |
| An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
|
| MedlinePlus: Divorce |
| Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
|
| Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
| The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
| www.divorceaid.co.uk |
|
| Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
| The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
| www.divorce-online.co.uk |
|
| How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
| Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
| www.divorceasfriends.com |
|
| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
| An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
| www.divorceonline.com |
|
| Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
| In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
| www.divorce.gov.au |
|
| DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
| DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcecare.com |
|
| Divorce Central Home Page |
| Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
| www.divorcecentral.com |
|
| Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
| Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
| www.divorcehelp.com |
|
| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
| Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
| www.direct.gov.uk |
|
| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
| John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
| www.divorcereform.org |
|
| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
| Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
| www.divorcebusting.com |
|
|