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"How To Have A Successful Marriage"
For a lasting marriage or relationships, couples need 5 keys personality traits.
"Love conquers all, right?" Well----it's suppose to. But most marriages will end in divorce. Most of their problems are about the children, money, or in-laws. ...
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Get past the “how are you doing? how’s the wife and kids?” with the response being “good, not so good, or fine” to the story...
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Marriage, Divorce, and Kids
It’s been said that one of the problems that married couples have today is that men tend to choose their wives the same way they choose their cars or trucks.
They get the best one available and hope that there’s not much maintenance down the road.
While this may occasionally be true, there are certain practices that married couples must follow in order to avoid adding to a divorce rate that hovers around 50%. These are practices that are essential not only for the success of their marriage, they are essential for the well-being of our children.
In Maggie Gallagher’s book, “The Abolition of Marriage,” she states that, “Half of all children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.”
Can we possibly continue with a system that allows half of our children to witness the breakup of their parent’s marriage? Is a divorce rate near 50% enough to have us consider new ideas about how we decide about marriage and divorce?
One logical place to start is to educate people about the qualities of a successful marriage.
We can’t be effective when we educate them two months before they marry. Emotional intelligence skills and relationship skills must be taught to our young people early in life.
When we do teach them about successful relationships, we should include these qualities:
1.Commitment—According to one definition, “commitment is a freely chosen inner resolve to follow through with a course even though difficulty arises. How do we show our children what to do when difficulty arises? Do we move to where the grass is greener? Commitment is a daily discipline. It’s the core from which we respond to difficulty. It’s what makes our lives richer and deeper.
2.Emotional Awareness—If we know what’s really bothering us, we can have effective and meaningful conversations with our spouse. We can be genuine, honest, and open with each other. And we can discover that much
of the pain we feel in our relationship is actually our past emotional history coming back to haunt us.
If you’re planning on getting married someday, be aware of what your emotional issues are. And if you don’t know what your issues are, you may be the most likely candidate for a divorce down the road.
3.Be Kind, Not Right—We tend to have a tremendous stake in showing our loved ones that we’re right. An enormous amount of time is wasted in our relationships by arguing over who’s right or wrong.
This excessive arguing is just an indication of our low self-esteem. A much easier and more effective way to be in a relationship is to commit to kindness. When you’re kind, you don’t need to be right. And it’s much easier for others to be with you!
There certainly are both justifiable divorces and “well-done” divorces that are respectful of the kids involved. But the number of divorces involving childish and irresponsible decisions based on self-interest is staggering.
Children deserve more than this. To allow a system to continue that has half of our kids witnessing their parent’s divorce is to turn our backs on our most precious commodity.
It’s time to consider alternatives. Let’s look at how we can spend more time educating and training young people about relationship skills and emotional intelligence. Let’s look at the fact that in about 80% of the divorces in this country, only one of the participants (usually the woman) wants to end the marriage. Can we keep no-fault divorce as it is?
And most importantly, let’s look at our own attitudes about commitment and decide what we want to do.
Because the cost of not doing these things is beyond measure.
About the Author
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is a certified personal Coach and the author of “Fix Your Wife in 30 Days or Less” http://www.markbrandenburg.com/saveyourmarriage.htm Sign up for his free newsletter, “Dads Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.
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divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
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www.divorce.co.uk |
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Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
www.divorcemag.com |
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Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
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DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ... |
www.divorcenet.com |
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The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area. |
www.divorcesupport.com |
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Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ... |
www.divorcesource.com |
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DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
www.divorceinfo.com |
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Divorce - Wex |
An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
www.law.cornell.edu |
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MedlinePlus: Divorce |
Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
www.nlm.nih.gov |
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Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
www.divorceaid.co.uk |
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Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
www.divorce-online.co.uk |
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How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
www.divorceasfriends.com |
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Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
www.divorceonline.com |
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Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
www.divorce.gov.au |
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DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
www.divorcecare.com |
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Divorce Central Home Page |
Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
www.divorcecentral.com |
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Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
www.divorcehelp.com |
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Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
www.direct.gov.uk |
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Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
www.divorcereform.org |
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Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
www.divorcebusting.com |
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