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False Start
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 7, 2003.
I was married three months ago, and I think I may have married the wrong woman. What do I mean when I say that? I thought I was in love, and while I have strong feelings of friendship and...
How To Be Holy
A strategy of holiness is the first tool in your kit of special resources for acting on the awareness to become a more loving being.
Do you long to be holy? At first glance, the goal of holiness may seem impossible because it conjures up...
Potty Training After a Divorce or Separation
Many parents share custody of their children, which presents a unique problem when it comes to potty training. It’s best to discuss potty training and agree on a strategy before you start. Both parents need to be informed about potty training...
Reforming the State-Church: Solutions For the Church Inc. 501c3 Problem
More and more people are becoming acquainted with at least some of the perils associated with organizing a church or ministry as a "tax-exempt religious organization." Not the least of these perils is the obvious answer to the question asked by...
What are "Fathers Rights"?
There is such a thing as Fathers Rights
in the Family Court System, I just haven't seen it. Father's
need to take matters into their own hands when it comes to
gaining custody of their children.
Such was the case with Darren Jones. He had...
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Ordinary Or Extra-Ordinary?
There is a way to create extra-ordinary relationships with others. I’ll share it with you.
I’m not sure about you, but I can’t think of any other outcome that would be higher, or that I would enjoy more, than for a person to have had an interaction with me and enjoyed it so much that they want to spend time with me over and over again. I’m sure this is what most of us want, but do we go about it in the right way?
When we meet people we want to share ourselves with them. We want to express our knowledge, experience and opinion and quite often our judgement on events or people. By doing this we hope that will be liked, enjoy friendships and be abundantly successful in our work. But what if I told you this trick doesn’t work as effectively as another trick I know?
What do I mean?
In order to enjoy interactions and become abundantly popular we have to do something different to imparting all our knowledge and experience and judgements. We have to focus differently. We have to focus on just one thing. And what is that?
We have to focus on the highest desire. By this I mean: what is the highest outcome you could have in this situation: What is the highest standard? What is the highest level of being? What is most important?
Here is an example:
Let’s say you have a dispute with your spouse or partner. The primary factor in your relationship with this person is to love and be loved. Many times we get ingrained in other stuff - making a point and needing to be right on a multitude of subjects and killing the very highest intention you had when you first met and began courting. The most important outcome of all, is to love and be loved. When your focus is on the highest outcome the dispute fades into stuff - secondary stuff.
What about with work colleagues who you don’t love?
Again what is your highest intention? Is it to win your point of view at any cost? Is it to be seen as the fountain of all knowledge in the office? Or is it to be respected for your talents and abilities? Focus on the highest outcome. When you do this you send
subtle, unseen signals to your work colleagues and your bosses and they will being to show you the very thing you want.
What about the kids?
With kids it is simple too. What is the highest outcome: is it to force them into doing what you want right this second or to have them willingly co-operate and grow up into well rounded, responsible people? If the highest desired outcome is to have them willingly co-operate and grow up into well rounded people then all you need to do is adopt the behaviour of the parent who has well-rounded co-operative kids.
We can never beat or force people into liking us, but we can encourage them. We encourage them by helping them to remember that they are perfect, wonderful people; we encourage them by wishing them well, wanting what they want, finding the common ground and working together towards the highest outcome.
And what do we get from interacting like this?
We get to feel good. We get move on from being ordinary to being extra ordinary. Ordinary people are (according to statistics) in £18000 of debt, divorced two thirds of the time, overweight and suffering from one ailment or another. Meanwhile extra-ordinary people are debtless, in stable, happy relationships and fit and healthy.
What makes the difference?
Probably the largest factor between ordinary and extra-ordinary people is their focus. Extra-ordinary people focus on the highest outcomes and the highest standards.
About the Author: CommunitySoul is a gathering of extra-ordinary people - people who have achieved extra-ordinary things and who are willing to share their experience and wisdom for your well-being. Come and join some best-selling authors, coaches and speakers. Join the fast growing readership at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk Fill your life with inspiration and wisdom and be inspiring and wise.
Source: www.isnare.com
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| divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
| An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
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| Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
| Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcemag.com |
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| Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
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| www.divorcenet.com |
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| The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
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| Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
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| www.divorcesource.com |
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| DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
| Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
| www.divorceinfo.com |
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| Divorce - Wex |
| An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
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| MedlinePlus: Divorce |
| Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
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| Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
| The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
| www.divorceaid.co.uk |
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| Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
| The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
| www.divorce-online.co.uk |
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| How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
| Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
| www.divorceasfriends.com |
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| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
| An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
| www.divorceonline.com |
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| Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
| In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
| www.divorce.gov.au |
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| DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
| DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcecare.com |
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| Divorce Central Home Page |
| Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
| www.divorcecentral.com |
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| Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
| Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
| www.divorcehelp.com |
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| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
| Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
| www.direct.gov.uk |
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| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
| John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
| www.divorcereform.org |
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| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
| Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
| www.divorcebusting.com |
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