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Down Low and Debatable
Black women talk candidly about men “on the down-low”. Warning: If you freak out at the mention of the word sex, reading this article may distort your moral values.
On a blustery winter morning in December 1999, Essex Garvey, a stay-at-home mom...
How to Manage and Conquer Depression
Millions of people suffer from a depressive illness. They thought that depression is just a normal occurrence in their lives, which will go away after a short while. They just haven't realized how serious depression can be.
Did you know that...
Misplaced Allegiance
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 23, 2003
I am male, 30, married for seven years. I have two small children. The past several years of married life have been trying. My wife and I fight a lot, always about money, work, or sex.
...
Present Perfect: the Perfect Seed for the Perfect Life.
We try to find the secret to a life free of struggle. The Present Perfect is this secret.
I used to think that good relationships and good jobs were things that only the luckiest people could attract into their lives but deep inside I also used...
"Surviving Divorce: What To Think About To Ensure Surviving Divorce"
Surviving divorce can be a valid fear if you're contemplating getting a divorce. In order to ensure surviving divorce, you should first understand that your divorce decision shouldn't be taken lightly. Ensuring that you'll be surviving divorce can...
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Why is Desperate Housewives so popular?
Why is "Desperate Housewives" so popular?
Infidelity and extramarital affairs are rife.
TV shows come and go. "Desperate Housewives" being all the rage for a time. Oprah even raved about it, as many women swoon at the male stars. However now the men shake their heads in disbelief at the infidelity and other goings on….
But....
Is it all a sign of the times. Remember "Sex in the City"?
Women being more emancipated, have more freedom, and more resources than anytime in the past. So what does all that mean. Well for one thing, they are now more prepared to publically show their frustrations. They don't just accept that the man is out there doing his thing – which does not always consist of just going out to work to bring in the bacon. Men having always had the freedom to roam, have taken this to the extreme. They have often left behind trailsof broken hearts and shattered families in their wake.
Now though, women are starting to get on the bandwagon.
Sexual emancipation is now no longer gender related. Both sexes are now equal. Infidelity is on the increase. Recent statistics suggest that up to 40% of women and at least 60% of men, have had outside relationship affairs at some time in their life. In studies performed recently, couple therapists however reported a 50% increase in female infidelity! The possiblity thus exists that someone close to is, was, or will be cheating on their partner!
OK, so the women are fighting back – but most men have no clue that their wives are having an affair. Most men find out the day their wife asks for a divorce.
This is a life shattering experience, (trust me I know).
Very few women become overnight cheaters though. The signs may have been there all along. There are usually stages of development, to the state of infidelity. Often, both partners contribute to these stages. Warning signs that not all is right, actually appear long before the actual physical act of infidelity. Usually most partners, don't spot them until its too late though.
Why do they do it?
Knowing the why, could be great help in protecting yourself from being at
the wrong end of an adulterous relationship. Here are some reasons, which you may or may not understand. Just be aware that they can apply to men and women nowadays.
Trophy hunters. Am I attractive, powerful, rich (insert your own attribute) ..enough to get that person to have sex with me?
Lack of a truly intimate relationship. This may be either real or perceived. Some couples just don't have matching sex drives, leading to problems.
Revenge. As silly as it sounds, this is a huge reason for infidelity. He or she did this to me, so I will get back at them by having an affair as well. Totally illogical in your mind, but not in theirs.
Addictive behaviour, sexual tendencies, confusion or trauma.
Low self esteem. Am I really good enough. If someone is willing to have sex with me, that proves that I'm OK
Lack of love in the relationship. A feeling of not being cared for, lets the partner look for this missing feeling outside the relationship. This then often leads to sex.
Boredom………..etc.
So what are the signs?
Well if you are in a loveless relationship, you by probably already know that the potential for problems exist. There may of course be other signs as well.
A sudden interest to work more overtime, is a red flag.
Spending less time at home.
Receiving phone calls at strange hours and then not sharing the callers identity, are all suspicious.
Etc etc.
Those are the obvious ones. Now you can play detective and look at everything with a suspicious mind. But who wants to live that way though?
Intelligent and commited partners, stay tuned into the relationship. They are aware of the pulse of how both feel about each other. All too often, relationships are just left to drag on, and eventually dies,even though the partners are still physically present.
Remember to get the passion back in your life, by not letting this happen to you. Love is something too precious to just ignore.
Copyright Udo Vieth - http://www.toprelationships.com
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| divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
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| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
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| Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
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| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
| Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
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| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
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| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
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