“Get off the surface and deepen your relationships. Go after the buried treasures and reap the rewards.” Beth Tabak

Get past the “how are you doing? how’s the wife and kids?” with the response being “good, not so good, or fine” to the story behind each person. This is when you develop connection, and people grow from connection. People seek value and want to contribute. Whether you want to increase business, develop your career, gain support, eliminate barriers, create opportunities, or merely relate and be loved; the benefits of widening your inner circle and going deeper are astronomical.

How easy it is to get comfortable with where we are and who we are with. We sometimes close the door to getting to know others around us who could add great value to our lives. Growth is a tremendous part of human life. We grow physically. We grow in knowledge and wisdom. Many of us strive to grow spiritually. We grow in and out of relationships. It seems that when we are growing the more fulfilled we become. When we are not growing we become disconnected, bored, and frustrated. While you may have many good relationships, is it possible that you are missing out on other remarkable experiences because you have relaxed into your comfort zone? Keep in mind that the more connections we have the more opportunities come our way, and the deeper those connections the more stimulating the relationship. So what is the first step?

The first step is to create the best relationship with the only person you are guaranteed to be with for your entire life. Yes, you! You attract relationships which are a reflection of yourself. So if you do not like who you are attracting, then take the time to develop the relationship with yourself. Take pride in all that you are. When you surrender and let go of all the things you think you should be, you begin the fascinating journey of being who you are meant to be. When you except yourself for all that you are...strengths and weaknesses...you can except others in the same way. You expend less energy when you are authentic, yet you are more likely to have a profound impact on others. When you take full responsibility for your own happiness you remove the burden from others of fulfilling those expectations. This lightens the relationship enabling it to blossom.

What do I mean by widening? As people come and go in and out of our lives they teach us valuable lessons. The more good relationships you have in your circle, the more you set yourself up to have an abundance of support. We could all use that...huh? You open the door for more opportunities to come your way.

Allow me make a request that you can accept or reject. Try taking your relationships to a deeper level, and see what happens. This is not about digging up your deep, dark secrets so don’t get nervous. Many of us don’t pry because we were raised with the saying “don’t be nosy”. However, it is natural to be curious. One way to gain access to wisdom is by asking “what” questions. “What” questions are a great way to open up an interesting conversation. What was your most incredible experience? What is the most interesting tidbit about your family? What was the best advice you ever received? Another phrase to use is “tell me about...”. Tell me about your home town. Tell me about how you chose your profession. We often bobble on the surface like a beach ball because it is just easier, and never realize the treasures that lie below the surface.

Seek the story behind each person and grow from the connection. Get to the good stuff...Starting Now!

Please send your comments. Let me know what you want to read. I would love to hear from you! Copyright 2002, Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved.

Beth Tabak is a Professional Life Coach and owner of Starting Now. She works with clients nationwide to get on the fast track to their goals while creating a life they can get excited about right now. To learn more visit www.cvreferral.com/2/101475.html or e-mail startingnow@ev1.net. For a schedule of upcoming events e-mail startingnowschedule@getresponse.com .