|
|
|
A New Strategy
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 3, 2003
My mother-in-law drives me crazy! She is an antisocial, critical, know-it-all who can't find anything decent to say about anyone but herself. Every time she comes to visit it puts such a...
Coming Out... As an Internet Dater
A few weeks ago I was having lunch with a casual acquaintance. As we were chatting, she mentioned her new boyfriend, Adam. "Oh," I asked. "How did you two meet?" She looked around and said, "Well, I guess I can tell you. I mean, he tells...
Long Lasting Love Relationships
Dating and establishing love relationships can be compared to choosing a vehicle. You pick out the make, model, year, color and features that you believe are best for you. After driving your vehicle for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps...
Marriage, Children and Divorce: When "le music" stops
It can happen in many ways. Sometimes, suddenly, out of the
blue, with no warning whatsoever. Other times, the music slowly,
gradually, fades to a deafening silence.
Divorce is the great plague on American families today. More
than 40% of...
What You Can Do As A Non-Raging Mate To Either Fix The Relationship Or Forget It
(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower, Director of The Center for Anger Resolution, Inc., and "Betty" the girlfriend of a rageaholic.)
Betty: I am a 35-year-old single woman who has been dating a man for three...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Words of Wisdom for Single Parents
The cost of being a parent and raising a child in todays world is constantly increasing. The risk of your child becoming involved in problem behaviour is also greater. Parents must work together as a team to ensure the brightest future for their children. But what if there is no team. No other person to rely upon. This is what millions of single parents deal with everyday. But it is not only the parent who sees this as a gloomy situation. Children are quite often left thinking that they are the reason for a separation or divorce. It is the child who must attend father and son day at school without a dad. They have to grow up with all the stigma attached to coming from a "broken home". These are just a few of the many potential problems that a single parents household are faced with. This article is aimed at providing single parents with some strategies for raising a good child despite what other people may say.
Concentrate on the positives
Although it may be impossible to see at first, there are some positives for single parents. The main one being less fighting, bickering and tension around the house. This will benefit your child in the long run as it becomes a more child friendly environment. Try to see your situation as a new found freedom and feeling of independence.
Develop a new relationship with your child
A child must obviously be comforted at such a time, but also made to see that you are the boss. Do not let your child think that because there is now only one parent around, they can do whatever they please. Children need rules and routine, regardless of how many parents are around.
Ask for help if you need it
Suddenly single parents will probably find that their workload doubles or triples at first. If your children are old enough, be sure to set them some chores around the house each day to take the pressure off yourself a little. Speak to other parents as much as you can. You will be surprised how often they will be happy to help out. It may just be taking your child to the movies or to a sports game on a Saturday morning, but every little bit helps. Above all, don't feel as though you have to do absolutely everything on your own.
Do not use your children for emotional support
Children need to have fun, play with their friends and enjoy their youth. Do not become
overly possessive of your child or look to them for emotional support. This quite often leads to the child feeling as overwhelmed as you are. Although you may not be ready for another romantic relationship, try to talk to other adults about your emotions.
Kids react best to routine
In order to create a stable household envirnonment with children, their must be rules and routine. Simple things like having dinner at the same time each night, bed time, homework time etc... If you can provide a schedule for them, they will feel a sense of security. Of course, the correct dosage of attention and affection will also provide and sustain a nuturing environment, but a combination of the two will always work best.
Don't forget about you
For single parents with a house full of kids and only one parent to do all the work and all the worrying, it may be easy to forget about ones self. It is crutial to the well-being of your children, that you stay healthy. If you feel run down, ask another parent or relative to mind the kids for a night or two. Try to remember the things you enjoy doing and dedicate a little bit of your time to do these things. The way a parent feels is quite often reflected in a child. If you are stressed out all the time, then this may directly or indirectly affect your child. So, try to stay calm around the kids when you can. Take a deep breath, or wait until the kids are out of the car before you start screaming!
Try to remember that it is all about quality not quantity. There are many two parnet households out their that are doing a much worse job than yourself. Just beacause a parent finds themsleves on their own, doesn't mean that things won't work out. Remember, not just anyone can run a house, raise kids and do a thousand other things all at once. Give yourself a pat on the back once in a while. You have a lot to be proud of. Best of luck to you!
Article written by Sarah Mitchell of NamesToBe.com. Article free for reprint as long as this info box is present and all hyperlinks remain active.
Baby names and meanings at http://www.namestobe.com.
Single parenting at http://www.namestobe.com/singleparenting.html.
|
|
|
|
|
| divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ... |
| An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve. |
| www.divorce.co.uk |
  |
| Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce |
| Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcemag.com |
  |
| Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
  |
| DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ... |
| DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ... |
| www.divorcenet.com |
  |
| The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ... |
| a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area. |
| www.divorcesupport.com |
  |
| Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ... |
| A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ... |
| www.divorcesource.com |
  |
| DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support |
| Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact. |
| www.divorceinfo.com |
  |
| Divorce - Wex |
| An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute. |
| www.law.cornell.edu |
  |
| MedlinePlus: Divorce |
| Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
  |
| Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice |
| The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ... |
| www.divorceaid.co.uk |
  |
| Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service |
| The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles. |
| www.divorce-online.co.uk |
  |
| How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson |
| Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage. |
| www.divorceasfriends.com |
  |
| Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com |
| An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce. |
| www.divorceonline.com |
  |
| Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce |
| In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ... |
| www.divorce.gov.au |
  |
| DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups |
| DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce. |
| www.divorcecare.com |
  |
| Divorce Central Home Page |
| Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews. |
| www.divorcecentral.com |
  |
| Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court |
| Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys. |
| www.divorcehelp.com |
  |
| Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents |
| Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor. |
| www.direct.gov.uk |
  |
| Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc. |
| John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ... |
| www.divorcereform.org |
  |
| Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ... |
| Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis. |
| www.divorcebusting.com |
  |
|