|
|
|
5 Tips to maximize your child’s wardrobe for seasonal change
While the northern hemisphere prepares to put away their winter wear in preparation for the warmer summer months, we here in the southern hemisphere are doing the exact opposite.
Living here in southern Queensland, Australia, we experience...
Brighten Up Your Shelves With Picture Frames
Would you like to add a personal touch to your home or office, but not sure how? Picture frames may be your answer. Picture frames are a fun and simple way to add color, character and style.
Decorating with picture frames is fun and simple....
Family Baby Shower
The addition of baby number 2, 3, or 10 is an occasion to celebrate for any family. Just think how exciting it must be for your littlest one who is used to always being the younger brother to find out he’s going to be a big brother! Though baby...
Need a great Family or On-Your_Own Winter Activity?
When the holidays are over, and winter sets in, sometimes we’re looking for things to do. The same can be said of retirement, or if you’re just ready for a change-of-pace in your life, and a new interest. Well, if you start planning now, by this...
The Thanksgiving Blessing
“Wouldn’t you just know it,” muttered my husband, Randy.
We had already been driving for a couple of hours in a pickup truck that we had borrowed from a friend, and now it was completely dark.
“What’s wrong?” I asked sleepily. I had dozed...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there in the name of the Better Behavior Wheel, invented by Julie Butler and her family in central British Columbia. In an interesting twist on charts and discipline, this versatile wheel can be hung on a wall or toted with you in the car and on vacations.
It's a way to get whole family involvement, and a little bit of humor to get us over the discipline bumps. Kayla Fay, publisher of Who Put the Ketchup in the Medicine Cabinet? says, "This is the proverbial spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down! Only a loving parent could come up with such an effective way to discipline children."
As the Wheel Turns
Originally, the wheel sprang from constant battles between Julie's 9- and 12-year-old children, David and Laura. With battles raging in their home, Julie and her husband decided they must find some way to keep the peace. Julie says, "We hated the atmosphere of tension that would invariably follow these exchanges. Our once happy home was being turned into a war zone, and it felt like there were land mines scattered beneath our feet. One night, in desperation, we called the kids into the living room and told them how upsetting their behavior was. We asked them for suggestions on how we could restore peace and serenity back into the family."
The kids were sent to their room to come up with at least six appropriate consequences for their next fight. David and Laura presented the family with consequences like:
Clean the other person's room
Do dishes for the other person
Make the other person's bed for a week
Lend your favorite CD or game to the other person for a week
Make a list of ten good things about the other person
Hug and make up….
These suggestions were arranged around the perimeter of a board, and a spinner attached to the middle. The premise was that the spinner would choose the consequence for them, and they would hang the board in plain view in the kitchen. Julie remembers, "We crossed our fingers, and waited. And waited. It was amazing. Just the presence of the board, hanging on our kitchen wall, had an instant calming effect on the atmosphere in our home. Occasionally we'd see one of the kids standing in front of the board, idly flicking the spinner, checking it out. But the fighting had stopped."
Of course, the battle was won, but not the war. Ten days later, the fighting began again, but this time they were prepared. Says Julie, "We called them both into the kitchen, took the board down off the wall, and placed it on the table. They knew what they had to do. How could they refuse? They chose the consequences. They practically invented the board. It landed on the most dreaded consequence of all: Hug and make up!"
Once the fighting subsided, Julie realized there were other behaviors she also wished to curb. "It seemed like the kids were always leaving the lights on when they left a room. Or they'd leave the TV on when they went to bed. Why not make another wheel with consequences related to wasting electricity?"
Eventually, eight themes were added:
Excessive Arguing
Leaving the Lights On
Not Putting Things Away
A Job Poorly Done
Stretching the Truth
Taking Without Asking
Talking Back
Wheel of Just Desserts (rewards)
Forty-eight consequences and 16 rewards are printed on peel-and-stick paper with colorful eye-catching graphics, enabling parents to customize the wheel to meet their family's needs. Just
cut them out and stick them on. It's very easy to make up your own consequences and themes.
Interestingly, Julie says the wheel lowers her stress, keeps the consequences appropriate, and removes parents from the "Bad Guy" label. In the past, she and her husband would have to repeatedly ask David to do something, only to hear him say, "I know." This would come to a boil, and in anger they would yell and exact a punishment too harsh for the infraction.
Now, the wheel does all the work.
"David, it's 8:15; you haven't started the dishes yet. I'm afraid we'll have to spin the wheel."
"But, Mom!"
"I'm sorry, Dear. It's really not up to me. Those are the rules we all agreed on. Gee, I hope you don't land on a really bad consequence."
Julie says, "The amazing thing is, we're no longer the bad guys. We can actually root for the kids as they drag themselves up to the wheel. It's no longer 'us against them'. It's the wheel that they have to answer to. But the greatest thing of all is that we hardly ever have to use the wheel. It hangs on the kitchen wall, acting as a watchdog and reminder."
What Else?
The Butlers' website, http://www.better-behavior.com , shows some parents of ADHD children have found the wheel to be a wonderful program. That is great news for many! Every parent should work with their child's personality and decide if the wheel is right for them, keeping in mind that every program doesn't work with every child.
There are a couple of letters on Julie's site from parents asking for help with children who are completely out of control. One mother says her five-year-old "beats (his big sister), kills animals, curses, and destroys everything in his path." Another mother said her six-year-old adopted daughter has angry outbursts and goes in cycles. She wondered what to do when her child refuses the consequences and it starts another battle.
These are warning signs of something more serious than just a discipline problem. Often, young children and teenagers exhibiting these symptoms have a physical problem that can cause behavioral changes, such as infections, Lyme Disease and thyroid problems. Mental disorders such as early-onset bipolar disorder can also cause very similar symptoms and must be diagnosed and treated immediately.
In these cases, the Wheel would not be appropriate and medical intervention is needed immediately. For help, contact your pediatrician and look for information on these diseases and disorders on the Internet.
However, there is still a possibility that the wheel will be valuable with a child who is stabilized. Again, parents will have to make the decision to try the wheel according to each child.
The Last Word
Parents of children with normal behavior and discipline problems are encouraged to try this wheel and have a little fun with discipline! Bringing the whole family into the discipline decision-making is an excellent way to work as a team and come to a peaceful solution. The wheel isn't meant to exact negative punishment on a child, but rather remind them to pick their battles and mind their parents.
Teachers and parents alike will find the wheel very useful in classrooms and homes everywhere with children ages four and up!
About the Author
Gina Ritter is a personal life coach for parents and publisher of
www.naturalfamilyonline.com. She lives in New York with her husband and
three boys (who also spin in the kitchen).
|
|
|
|
|
| Family.org |
| Offers practical help for marriage and child-rearing. Recent magazine articles, letters from Dr. James Dobson, news, and RealAudio broadcasts. |
| www.family.org |
|
| FamilyFun: Fun stuff for Kids, Parents - and More Family Fun |
| Family Fun is your online source for arts and crafts, recipes, and parties for every holiday, plus hundreds of ideas for kid crafts, birthday cakes, ... |
| familyfun.go.com |
|
| Family.ca |
| Take polls, rant and rave on Canada's family broadcaster site. Full of shockwave games, animation and information about the shows they carry. |
| www.family.ca |
|
| Family.com - closed beta |
| Features a to do list, calendar, and recommended sites for health, shopping, and recipes. |
| family.go.com |
|
| FamilySearch.org - Family History and Genealogy Records |
| Search for family ancestors. Billions of free family tree, family history, ancestry, genealogy and census records. |
| www.familysearch.org |
|
| Family - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| A family consists of a domestic group of people (or a number of domestic groups), ... Members of the nuclear family use descriptive kinship terms: ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Family (biology) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| The concept of rank at that time was still in statu nascendi, and in the preface to the Prodromus Magnol spoke of uniting his families into larger genera, ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Family Guy |
| The official Family Guy website with everything you ever wanted to know about the show and more. |
| www.familyguy.com |
|
| Parenting advice, child development and family reference at ... |
| FamilyEducation.com provides parents with educational printables, games, activities, parenting ideas, tips, family advice, and information on learning ... |
| www.familyeducation.com |
|
| Family Life Today |
| FamilyLife, a division of Campus Crusade for Christ, provides practical, biblical tools to strengthen marriage and family relationships, including the ... |
| www.familylife.com |
|
| WorldVillage - A Family Friendly Portal for Families, Kids, Adults ... |
| WorldVillage is for families, kids, adults, parents and teachers. Features include coupon codes, online games, downloads, internet monitoring and internet ... |
| www.worldvillage.com |
|
| Open Directory - Home: Family |
| Family Check-up - Provides assessment activities and access to educational materials related to family health with respect to family life, finances, ... |
| dmoz.org |
|
| Free Family Ecards, Family Greeting Cards, Family Greetings, Cards ... |
| Express your appreciation to your family/ loved ones for all that they have ... Reach out to your friend/ family/ loved one and let them know how much you ... |
| cards.123greetings.com |
|
| kids and family news articles - arizona education - arizona family ... |
| Family News Articles - azcentral.com provides articles and reports on Arizona education and Arizona family events. |
| www.azcentral.com |
|
| Google Directory - Home > Family |
| Many articles dealing with a wide range of topics from single parenting, family life, child development and stress management. ... |
| www.google.com |
|
| Family Research Council: Wednesday, December 6, 2006 |
| Christian organization promoting the traditional family unit and the Judeo-Christian value system upon which it is built. Provides links, commentary, news, ... |
| www.frc.org |
|
| Sesame Workshop - Home Page |
| The non-profit educational organization behind the show and related educational outreach. |
| www.sesameworkshop.org |
|
| National Sex Offender Registry |
| Free national US search for registered sex offenders. Map registered sex offenders to see who lives in your area. |
| www.familywatchdog.us |
|
| FHI Family Health International |
| Provides the highest quality research, education and services in family planning, STDs/HIV and family health to improve the health and well-being of ... |
| www.fhi.org |
|
| National Family Caregivers Association |
| Caregiving advocacy organization with tips and statistics on caregiving in America. |
| www.nfcacares.org |
|
|