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Cosmetic Dentistry: Part 1
Nothing since that Ancient Sumerian fashioned the first toothbrush from a simple twig has impacted the dental field more than cosmetic dentistry. Today it is possible for the average American to sport the same picture perfect smile as any...
Dressing For The Office Christmas Party
How to go from 9-to-5 to "after 5" - in a flash!
It's 5 o'clock - but it's not quitting time. Instead, it's the
holiday office party . And if you're like most women it's an
event that can leave you shrugging your shoulders and...
How To Care For Your Designer Handbag
Whether your designer handbag is a Louis Vuitton, a Gucci, or any other designer, it is important to take proper care of it. Proper care will give you many years of beauty and use in return.
Most leather designer bags are not treated. This allows...
Jeans For Work Or Sexy Jeans
A little over a century ago Levi Strauss invented to first modern jeans. Introduced originally as rugged, durable clothing for hard working men and women, today all social classes feel comfortable in jeans. Trends and fashion icons come and go but...
Picking a Prom Dress
Prom dresses are one of the main things on a teenage girls mind in the spring. They want the latest styles in prom dresses and they certainly don’t want the same prom dresses that their peers are wearing. Individuality and exclusivity are two of...
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8 Things That Maketh Not The Lady
1. Tattoos.
Tattoos used to be the colouring of soldiers, sailors, mafiosi and punk rockers. About ten years ago, they became fashionable. The lower-middle classes started taking them up. Unfortunately, unlike last years' shoes, tattoos can't be taken to the thrift shop and disposed of.
To a certain class of person, tattoos are 'cool'. To another, they are a graffito on the temple of the soul. They mark a woman definitively as lower class, alienated, depressed, and a bit daft. They're also a handy way to identify one absolutely to the authorities. Which shows how stupid some crooks are.
The same goes for piercings. My family are farmers. I associate nose rings with bulls, and piercings with cattle tags. They are a haven of dirt, infection, and their openings look unsightly.
With tattoos and piercings, before you've opened your mouth, you've already typed yourself to people you meet.
2. Highlights and streaks.
Are you blonde, or brunette? Make up your mind! These might have been novel ten years ago. Now they just look common. Not all gentlemen prefer blondes. A healthy head of untinted brunette or raven dark hair is a pleasant novelty these days.
It is true that blondes have more fun. I used to be one! Most people on the planet are dark. A non-blonde with blonde hair looks 'interesting'.
Now this fashion is done to death, however. If they're doing it in Romford, it's buried!
3. Big hoop earrings.
Unmistakably part of the wardrobe of the gypsy. Which is fine if you are one. Strangely popular. Perhaps they're to make the wearer's head look smaller. Add them to the features above, and an unattractive type emerges.
4. Binge drinking.
Binge drinking, squawking and falling over in the street is hilarious if you are the one doing it. If you are the spectator, it's less so.
5. Visible G-string.
This is erotic, no doubt about it. Unless you haven't the figure to pull it off. Likely to provoke a reaction of 'Mother of G*d!' when adorning the pasty, blemished buttocks of the 'full-figured' young lady. Bad diet, no exercise, five-pints-a-night, then 'peek-a-boo!'. Agggh!
I used to wonder why so many saucily-dressed young ladies walked the streets hatchet-faced. Now I now. Half are trying to ward off unwanted vulgar advances
from men, the other half are annoyed they're not getting any!
There's nothing sexy about contrived, blatant eroticism. What's erotic is what seems to be an accident. 'A glimpse of stocking is something quite shocking' etc.
Likely to irritate female co-workers also. Assuming your company allows such clothing. It doesn't? I wonder why?
6. Swearing.
Your gentleman friends might find this amusing, to your face. What they think in private is another matter. Habitual swearing is another sign of a depressed, angry person. It's unattractive. The more you do it, the more it corrodes your subconscious.
7. Breast Augmentation.
Also known as a 'boob job'. These look fine, from a distance. Compared to a natural pair, they look odd. They are to real breasts what a transexual is to a 'red hot mama'; no competition. Up close, they're just not as good as the real thing. A perfectly functional piece of equipment has been turned into a cartoon joke, with possible long-term medical consequences.
Some men like small breasts. Beauty is a matter of proportion. Some women are neurotic about their appearance; nothing will please them.
A good example is ...
8. Disappearing Eyebrows.
They get plucked away to nothingness, then get drawn or tattooed back in. And this is better? One can end up looking freakish, even clown-like. Loss of hair suggests illness. Plucking out one's hair is often a sign of mental illness. Girls, desist! Don't try to gild the lily!
IMPORTANT NOTE: There are people who'll encourage you in the above. They'll say you look lovely. Misery loves company, and some people delight in the fall of others.
Be your own woman. Stand back from yourself, your life and your surroundings, and decide your own destiny.
About the Author
T. O' Donnell (http://www.tigertom.com) is an ecommerce consultant and curmudgeon living in London, UK. His latest project is an ebook on conservatories, available at http://www.ttconservatories.co.uk. T. O' Donnell freeware may be downloaded at http://www.ttfreeware.co.uk.
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| fashion net - the guide to all things chic |
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