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Did You Say Red – Strawberry Red Lips??
What’s that you say? Did you say red? That’s just what I said. Red lips have made their way back to center stage. Just check out the runways. Designers Paul Smith and Betsey Johnson are two designers that took the strawberry tint to the runways –...
Frugal Springtime Fun With Kids!
Spring is on the way, and that means the kids are going to be ready to play outdoors more. But the time always comes when
every mom hears "I'm bored!" Be prepared with these ideas to beat boredom before it begins!
1. Plan and plant a garden...
Hot Lingerie Trends
Just like other areas of the fashion industry, there is always something new and exciting on the horizon for lingerie. From the beautiful to the weird, here are a few of the newest highlights in lingerie fashion. One of the more popular moves with...
If you’re not born with it, you can just buy it!
Ring!
Ring!
Ring!
Customer Service Center: Hello, Thank you for calling the Get Beautiful Shop. What can I get for you today?
Customer: Hello, I would like to order a beautiful long, full hair style, slimmer thighs, higher cheekbones, a...
It's a Sick World
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy when your child is sick. But the most unjoy is when you AND your child are sick together. That happened to my poor wife a few weeks ago. She and Little Lady, going on three years old, both had a cold...
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Loveless Marriage: "Does Living In A Loveless Marriage Necessarily Mean That You Should Get A Divorce?"
Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess the situation, courage to try to create a team effort for the best decision with your spouse, and gumption to face the reality that a divorce may be the best solution for the loveless marriage.
But, before you jump right to the easy way out and decide on divorce, you should got through the process of making sure that you have logically thought through long-term implications of ending the loveless marriage.
Being in a loveless marriage and deciding whether to get a divorce based on this one fact alone is a misuse of an opportunity. Its not like deciding whether to stay married due to an extramarital affair or other marriage problems like abuse or living in a sexless marriage, choosing the right divorce decision when it comes to a loveless marriage is a totally different situation.
The opportunity is great to grow personally that is present when you're deciding about divorce because of being in a loveless marriage. Let's take a look at some of the items that are relevant to this situation regarding a loveless marriage and how you can approach this
time in your life from a mature standpoint and come to the right choice while growing at the same time.
Loveless marriage item 1: Define love as you see it and assess whether or not your spouse agrees somewhat with you, at least in a complementary fashion.
For a loveless marriage to be assessed properly, making sure your idea or definition of love is "clear" is a solid way to make sure that you know what you've lost. And, if your spouses idea of what love is differs from yours so much that you both can't somewhat reap the
benefits of love, you may need counseling to get to the root issue of your loveless marriage.
Loveless marriage item 2: Make sure that you are in fact out of love before you go further with steps to divorce or try to work it out.
Ask yourself, "Am I really out of love or am I giving up?". Keeping love alive can take work and strong communication with yourself and spouse. List the reasons why you think you're out of love and decide if those reasons prohibit a rekindling of love, assuming you were actually in love at some point. Being in a loveless marriage doesn't necessarily mean that it has to stay that
way!
Loveless marriage item 3: Decide if you were ever really in love as you define love.
Your loveless marriage could have always been loveless, you may have just been to distracted to notice. You may have received other benefits from being with your spouse in the past that you aren’t getting now and that could be why you're frustrated and living in a loveless marriage.
Of course, if you were in fact in love with your spouse at one time in the past, you both might not have done what needs to be done to keep love alive. Before you do anything about your loveless marriage, make sure you understand how your idea of love may have changed over time, and really contemplate if you were really ever in love.
Loveless marriage item 4: Assessing whether or not you need to be in love to stay married and if so, can your love be re-kindled?
This item regarding a loveless marriage is a crucial point in your decision making process. Some people stay married even when they are in a loveless marriage because the benefits they get from being married psychologically outweigh the need for love. These benefits could many things and could stem from lack of self confidence, money, fear of loneliness, etc.
If you're a person who needs love to stay married, make sure that you really think about how rejuvenate the love in your loveless marriage before you decide on divorce. If you're struggling regarding a decision about your loveless marriage, it means that it is worth fighting for.
If you really do soul searching and talk with your spouse openly about the lack of zest in your marriage in the hopes of making it better, you may find that your spouse feels the same way that you do!
Being a loveless marriage can be a drain on your day to day energy if you need love to stay happily married. If your marriage is worth it to you, be mature about the situation and do all you can to rekindle the love before you do anything else. If you do, you'll grow personally as
will your spouse regardless whether or not you get a divorce.
© Karl Augustine, 2004
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.
Deciding on Divorce
Loveless Marriage
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