Search
Related Links

 

 

Informative Articles

e-Book on Russian Women (Part 7)
What a Photo Can Say to You You should know from the very beginning that photos may be deceiving. Some people look stunning beauties on photos while in real life they would attract nobody's eyes. Others are not so photogenic, however one would...

Finding Little Heaven
The news came as a shock to us all. He who had been ill for days had been taken to the hospital. It was found out that he had very high amount of creatinine in his blood, resulting from a stone in one of his kidneys. Creatinine is a liquid waste....

Is Negative Thinking Scaring Off Your Soul Mates?
Francine Bonnecelli* swore off relationships the day her husband of nine years left her for a twenty-something barmaid in San Francisco. Even though this was her third marriage, she felt three was the charm and, after all, he showed all the...

Spiritual Awakening
As we proceed further into the 21st century there is even more of a feeling that humanity as a whole is hearing "a calling". Most of the clients in the realm that talk about this describe it as an "awakening" or experiencing an "enlightenment" or...

Wood Chips
I wanted to share with you one of the most valuable lessons my daughter taught me when she was sixteen-months-old. I call this essay, “Cherish Your Wood Chips.” Today was one of those days where I just couldn't get enough done. No matter how...

 
Trust Your Instincts

Trust Your Instincts
Helaine Iris
© 2003

"Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself." Oprah Winfrey

Last week the unthinkable happened. A 17-year-old classmate of my daughter was killed in a fluke accident. Needless to say our whole family was shaken and saddened by this seemingly senseless event.

Allison’s natural and healthy grieving was beginning to take its course as we began to deal with the reality at hand. Fortunately, she hasn’t had many opportunities to deal with death in her young life. Dinner that night was painful; we had an understandably quiet and upset teenager trying to get through dinner, sinking deeper and deeper into a cacophony of feelings.

As her parent I knew it was up to me to comfort, support, provide wisdom and help her process this difficult experience, but how? It was time for me to intervene and I knew the first step was to embark on a conversation that would lead toward her healing.

As I started up the stairs to her room, my heart was in my throat and my thoughts overwhelming. “What would I say to her?“ What do I know about grief? I don’t have much experience with loss either. What if I burst into tears myself from feeling the pain my child is in?

As I rounded the corner and headed down the hall to her room I heard a voice from deep inside say, “trust your instincts, you’ll know what to say”. It stopped me dead in my tracks. “Trust my instincts”? Help! What does that mean?

In what felt like a lifetime, but was actually sixty seconds, I started to connect with my instincts.

Instincts are what urge us to respond, they are a powerful motivation or impulse. In this case my maternal need to comfort my child. Instincts are also the innate capability or aptitude we have to fulfill a task at hand, my being a good mother.

My instincts got me up the stairs, now what would I have to access to be a good and wise mother for my grieving daughter?

That was easy. I simply asked myself what she needed; space to share her feelings, someone to hold her while she cried, someone to tell her everything she was


feeling was normal. These things actually come easy to me, I could do this.

Do you listen to and follow your instincts? Here are some tips for building and trusting your relationship with your instincts:

1. Learn to listen for your inner voice. The noise of your thoughts and fear often drown out your quiet voice within. Stop, breathe and see what you can hear.

2. Trust your heart. Value what you are feeling as well as what you are thinking. The first step toward trusting your heart is acknowledging, and appreciating your conditioned trust in logic. Both qualities are essential and if you tend to rely on logic over heart, focus on building your heart strength.

3. Remember your personal strengths. What are you good at? Draw from this when you act.

4. And finally, as Billy Wilder said, "Trust your instincts. Your mistakes might as well be your own
instead of someone else's." It’s your life to learn and grow from. As long as you adopt a learner’s stance how far off can you really go?

I opened the door to my daughter’s room. I took a deep breath and held out my loving arms to welcome her in. In the time we spent together sometimes talking, sometimes silent, and with a lot of tears from both of us, she began the healing process. By the end of our time we were both laughing and reliving wonderful memories she had of her classmate.

My instincts served me well, they served my daughter well and I am a more confident parent as we all continue to heal.

It’s YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!

Helaine Iris is a certified Life Coach, writer and teacher that loves her life. She works with individuals, entrepreneurs, and professionals, who want to integrate their life purpose with their personal and professional life to create a life that’s joyful, fulfilling and successful. Are you ready to take a step that could change your life? For a complimentary session visit her website http://www.pathofpurpose.com or call her 603-357-8546 or email her helaine@pathofpurpose.com


 

Center For Grief, Loss and Transition, St. Paul, Minneapolis ...
The Center for Grief is a St. Paul, Minnesota provider of specialized therapy and education in the areas of complicated grief, trauma, and life transition.
www.griefloss.org
 
Grief Loss & Recovery | Poems, Articles & Personal Stories - Home
Grief poems, articles and personal stories about grief, loss, recovery, bereavement, death, dying, funerals, spirituality, suicide, depression, ...
grieflossrecovery.com
 
Grief Loss & Recovery: Articles
Grief poems, articles & memoirs about grief, loss, recovery, bereavement, death, dying, funerals, spirituality, suicide, depression, afterlife & God.
www.grieflossrecovery.com
 
Grief, Loss and Bereavement
Pregnancy loss, Dealing with the death of an adolescent peer.
www.ncpamd.com
 
Coping With Death, Grief, and Loss Handout
Coping with Death, Grief, and Loss. What is Grief? Grief occurs in response to the loss of someone or something. The loss may involve a loved one, a job, ...
www.uiowa.edu
 
Dr. Phil.com - Advice - Health - Grief/Loss
Mind and Body · Grief/Loss · Pregnancy · Life Strategies · Money · Parenting · Relationships/Sex · Self Matters · Weight ...
www.drphil.com
 
Open Directory - Health: Mental Health: Grief, Loss and Bereavement
Bereavement Poems and Articles - Poems and Articles connected with grief, loss and bereavement. Includes links and an online memorial tribute. ...
dmoz.org
 
Grief and Loss, Funeral Arrangements, End of Life - AARP
Offering articles, discussions, resources and tools for coping with grief and the loss of a loved one.
www.aarp.org
 
Self-Improvement - Grief-Loss Ezine Articles
EzineArticles.com allows ezine or email list publishers to upload or download free expert content that can be used within email newsletters or websites.
ezinearticles.com
 
GriefLoss.com | Grief Loss | Grief Digest | Grief Journal | Randy ...
GRIEF LOSS Web Sites - Sponsored Listings. Associated Sites · Grief Counseling Tools · Grief Recovery Skills Help Others, Help Yourself ...
www.griefloss.com
 
Grief Loss and Bereavement
We shuffle into a break room and he. 1 2 3 Next >> · RSS Feed: Grief Loss and Bereavement Feed. © Copyright 2000-2006 eNotalone.com Inc. All rights reserved.
www.enotalone.com
 
Living Beyond Loss -- Surviving Grief, Loss and the Death of ...
Site focusing on surviving the grief and loss associated with the death of a child. Features online journal entries and essays.
adrr.com
 
Grief and Loss Resource Centre
Deals with the many aspects of grief. From making funeral arrangements to online memorials.
www.rockies.net
 
Hillsborough: Grief, loss felt at teen's old school
... 15-year-old arrested after car chase, crash · Grief, loss felt at teen's old school · Newborn's family shaken ... Grief, loss felt at teen's old school ...
www.sptimes.com
 
each
This page contains info about grief, stages of grief loss, stages of grieving, ten stages of grief, unresolved grief, words to comfort someone grieving ...
www.each.org.uk
 
Nicky's EB Info World ~ Welcome to the World of Epidermolysis Bullosa
EB Awareness Bracelets - Advertise on this site - Link to Us - Free Internet Access - Book Store (inspirational/helpful) - Book Store (grief/loss) ...
www.ebinfoworld.com
 
Grief, Loss, Shame & Guilt - Birth, Birthmother, Child, Grief ...
Birthmothers: Grief, Loss, Shame & Guilt. Acknowledging grief over the loss of a child through adoption, and dealing with feelings of shame and guilt are ...
birthfamily.adoption.com
 
Grief - Loss
Grief /Loss:. A Heartbreaking Choice A website for those parents who choose to interrupt their pregnancies after poor prenatal diagnosis and for ...
www.cardiogenetics.org
 
Google Directory - Health > Mental Health > Grief, Loss and ...
Resource to find consolation, emotional support, encouragement, stress management, balance, and serenity to help those experiencing grief, loss, ...
www.google.com
 
Grief, Loss and Bereavement Resources
Links, information and resources for the loss of children and parents, death and dying, support groups, healing center.
www.soberrecovery.com
 
 

 

Content Menu
  • 1 800 im calling heaven to talk to mother

  • achieve instant calm

  • adhd at home with mom

  • affiliate internet marketing secret

  • after christmas letdown

  • all i want for christmas is my son back

  • amaterasu the goddess of the sun

  • americans offers condolences to britain to londoners to good friends

  • an empty nest is for the birds

  • are you an angry and sometimes grumpy child of the 50s

  • are you using all your souls resources

  • aromatherapy for a broken heart

  • avoiding ebay scams

  • ayurveda remedies for erectile dysfunction

  • a cure for cancer

  • a difficult decision

  • a moving experience

  • a recovering ragers creed

  • a time of grief and healing after separation and divorce

  • a womans job no woman wants

  • birthparent loss and grief

  • break ups how to cope

  • building a good relationship

  • bust holiday stress

  • but why do we cheat

  • cat history and advantages of keeping cats

  • cat history cat myths advantages of keeping cats

  • cat history cat myths advantages of keeping cats as pets over dogs

  • children get constipated too

  • choose to be happy now

  • chore and reward systems that work

  • christmas music continues to inspire soothe reflect a season

  • close kept secrets to weight loss lesson 2

  • college branded sweatshirts

  • common scents for emotional well being

  • coping with a funeral

  • coping with the emotional aspects of clutter clearing

  • coping with the loss caused by chronic illness

  • dating tips for ending a relationship

  • dealing with family and friends regarding your special needs child

  • dealing with the backdrop of fear and confusion

  • death the expensive little secret seniors need to talk about

  • deeper down deeper in debt funerals

  • deliverance from the root of bitterness

  • depressed wise woman ways offer a helping hand

  • designing relaxing evenings for you and your child

  • developing a healthy self esteem in your child

  • divining with ordinary playing cards

  • divorce when forever is just too long

  • dog rescue is it right for you

  • do souls of the dead return back to this world part iii

  • do we really need god

  • dream yourself into your life

  • either tame the bull or youll eat the crow

  • embracing the late wife

  • ending relationships with honor

  • eq for the agony and the ecstasy

  • e book on russian women part 6

  • e book on russian women part 7

  • fanning the flames of the diabetes epidemic

  • fear and faith cannot occupy the same place

  • feline human bond

  • finding joy in christmas when everything feels wrong

  • finding little heaven

  • finding your soulmate

  • forgiveness

  • free happiness

  • friendship suggestions for feeling better

  • good grief i learned a lot charlie brown

  • grief

  • grief and the holidays

  • grieving children

  • grieving our losses

  • hannah senesh

  • have you forgotten him

  • helping children cope with death

  • helping children cope with grief

  • helping children with the columbia tragedy

  • he loved me to death invisible scars left undone

  • holidays of sadness

  • holistic aromatherapy for cats

  • home for the holidays

  • home for the holidays avoid aging parents becoming a burden

  • how i learned to love my buddha belly

  • how stress effects neurotransmitters

  • how to comfort someone whose child dies

  • how to grieve a tragedy

  • how to manage and conquer depression

  • how to prevent suicide

  • how to turn grief into joy

  • hunting the fear bear

  • increase acknowledgment for more ease in your relationships

  • index

  • infidelity again

  • is negative thinking scaring off your soul mates

  • is your baggage holding you back

  • is your mate cheating

  • its a great day to die

  • i love you but

  • keeping it simple this season

  • keeping private information private

  • keep a man coming back for more

  • learning to live

  • learning to see by traveling with a teddy bear

  • letter for two i accept your apology

  • letting go

  • life the greatest ride of all

  • lighting up your life

  • literature and women

  • living the rollover life a mandate for marketplace ministers

  • living through loss

  • living together without marriage improves mens mental health

  • living with pain

  • losing weight starts with the soul part 2

  • luxury for less decorating on a budget

  • manifestation or infestation stop feeding the stray dogs

  • memorial day tribute

  • mended heart

  • mother of invention or dummy you decide

  • my sons deployment

  • packing properly how to move and keep your valuables intact

  • parenting the irrational vocation

  • personal happiness a personal responsibility

  • pet loss can be just as devastating

  • pet memorial in remembrance of our special pet friends

  • preparing your new sewing machine to sew

  • remembering grandparents

  • restoring the fallen believer

  • rotator

  • seeking forgiveness please forgive me

  • self soul and parables

  • sex and the single mom

  • signs of infidelity my marriage made me do it

  • sign of affair i fell out of love and just love being in love

  • sorrow and closure

  • space shuttle columbia tragedy

  • spiritual awakening

  • stages

  • suicide survivor

  • surviving grief at christmas

  • take control of your health

  • ten tips for parenting teens

  • testing the edit

  • the art of balancing an unequal life

  • the art of diverting negative energy

  • the benefits of coaching

  • the big one is coming

  • the day our heroes died

  • the dead

  • the didjeridu

  • the first step to getting over a breakup

  • the gift is the path itself

  • the great baby name debate

  • the grief and belief connection

  • the prophecy of suffering

  • the pursuit of greatness

  • the resurrection of jesus the risen lord appears

  • the right to mend

  • the wise woman tradition empowers women

  • tis more blessed to for give

  • trial by fire 9 tips for grieving couples

  • triumphing over tough times

  • trust your instincts

  • vacation safety stay aware to stay safe

  • victorious cancer victor

  • visioning your future

  • whats it all mean gaining a new perspective on the stuff in your life

  • what 10 things divorced parent should do to promote positive child adjustment

  • what divorce parenting practices is best appropriate for school age children

  • what to do when youre short on time and long on need

  • whens sarah coming home helping your child understand death

  • when family members are reacting differently to the loss of your pet

  • when youre having a hard time

  • which came first love or marriage

  • whos helping our grieving children cope with katrina

  • will they or will they not cheat

  • will your children take a one way ticket to needle death

  • winning my battle with anxiety

  • wise dating tips for the single mom

  • wood chips

  • words of comfort

  • words of wisdom proverbs 10 1

  • words to live by for the recovering rageaholic

  • worldly balance

  • wrong decisions

  • you want to be a stay at home parent

  • zenobia life lessons