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8 Tips for the Recovering Romantic (Who is Part of a Couple)
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Aging Gracefully: Skin care in your 20's, 30's, 40's and beyond
Skin care is important at any age. However, as we get older, our skin's micro-anatomy and physiology. The steps you need to take to adjust your skin care regime are outlined in the following article. You can have great looking skin at any age and...
All About Bee Pollen Benefits
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Benefits of Human Growth Hormone - Increasing in the Level of Energy
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How Does Propecia (Finasteride) Help In The Treatment Of Hair Loss?
Finasteride was initially marketed to treat prostate conditions under the name Proscar in 5mg pills. It was known to inhibit the formation of DHT, a major contributor to both prostate cancer and male pattern hair loss.
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The Psychology Of Diet Preparation
We decide to lose weight because of any number of reasons: we
don't like the way we look, our clothes don't fit, our health is
in danger, our significant other is wandering, our job is at
risk, or our kids are embarrassed. We tend to think of weight
loss as something that involves only our body; surely no one
ever decided to lose weight because of a fat brain or a bloated
mind.
Yet "we decide" is a mental function. When and why we make such
a decision depends on our mind, not our body. We may make the
decision when we are five pounds heavier than we would like, or
after passing the two hundred pound mark and entering true
medical obesity. The actual size of the body does not trigger
the decision to lose weight, such a choice in made in the brain.
Since the start (and the continuation) of a diet program is a
mental process, it would seem to be worthwhile to explore what
factors might trigger such a decision.
1. Self-Image.
Each of us has a dual image: the face we turn to the world and
our internal idea of how we appear. Although we dress and groom
ourselves in an effort to be seen as attractive by others, we
are far less influenced by others than by our satisfaction, or
dissatisfaction, with ourselves.
Explore this concept by observing yourself and others over the
course of the next week. You will notice that you often receive
compliments on clothes you wear that, to you, don't feel "quite
right." Wear a favorite outfit that fits perfectly, that you
think looks outstanding, and that makes you feel especially
dashing - and no one notices! The same phenomenon occurs with a
hairstyle. One morning, rushed for time, you can't get your hair
to do anything so you angrily pull it back with clips and hope
that no one important sees you looking so awful. Voila! Three
people comment that they like what you've done with your hair.
There is the same disconnect when it comes to our weight. If we
look good in our mind's eye, we don't feel fat, even if friends
and coworkers are whispering about our steady weight gain.
However, if we see ourselves as overweight, no amount of
reassurance from those around us is going to make us feel less
fat. Carried to the extreme, this mental picture of our body
size can lead to the eating disorder anorexia nervosa in which
painfully thin individuals continue to dangerously restrict
their caloric intake because they consistently see themselves as
too heavy.
We decide to go on a diet, therefore, in response to our
internal self-image. Some of the benefits we envision that go
along with being slim and fit do take others into account: I
will be more attractive to the opposite sex; I'll be noticed at
work when it's time for a promotion; my family and friends will
be jealous and will have to re-evaluate me as a stronger person
than they had thought. But the real payoff for getting in shape
is what it does for us personally. It is the desire to feel
great about ourselves that carries us through the pain and
monotony of diet and exercise. It is the future vision of
ourselves in our mind that spurs us toward our goal. Losing that
vision, or concluding that we won't feel that much better about
ourselves, are the reasons we give up and fall back into the
relative comfort of settling for just "okay."
2. Body versus Mind dominance.
We all wage a lifelong internal battle between our body and our
mind. Each is dominant at different stages of development. As
infants, we are little more than a collection of sensations. We
explore the exciting new world around us through touching
everything within reach, tasting everything we can put into our
mouths, watching the movements of everything around us, and
listening to all the sounds we hear until we eventually learn to
imitate them.
As we move into our early school years, we start to concentrate
on our minds. We voraciously devour immense amounts of
information. We learn to read and our world expands its
boundaries by a thousand percent. We learn to use the Internet
and a limitless universe is at our fingertips.
Then we move into puberty and, overnight, our appearance becomes
the dominating factor in our everyday lives. We navigate the
pitfalls and pleasures of adolescence where popularity and being
cool are so much more vital than mere learning or mental
development. We spend an inordinate amount of time on our
bodies. We try new clothes, new hairstyles, and new makeup. We
have body parts pierced and undergo the pain of a tattoo because
it will make us stand out. We primp, and groom, and force
ourselves into the styles our peers have judged as "in."
As we mature, we seek to balance our mental and physical selves.
While our bodies reign supreme in the attract-a-mate
environment, we need to exercise our minds to advance our
careers and to develop deep relationships that move far beyond
mere physical attraction.
It is when we settle down, and start to build the good life we
want, that our efforts and energies turn towards things outside
ourselves: children, significant others, friends, family, and
work pursuits. We have so much happening around us and so much
to do that we lose touch with both our bodies and our minds. We
slip into our own comfort zone where so many of our needs are
fulfilled by food. It eases our anxiety, relieves our frequent
frustrations, and makes periodic bouts of the blues bearable. It
oils our social interactions. It becomes a vital cog in how we
demonstrate affection for those we love. We continue to see
ourselves as we have always been and ignore the love handles and
pockets of fat that attach themselves to parts of our body we
resolutely ignore. Our bodies, and our internal image of our
bodies, become more and more discordant.
3. Our sense of self-efficacy.
Self-efficacy is a term used in psychology to describe an
individual's belief that any action they take will have an
effect on the outcome. It is not self-confidence, nor a belief
that one is competent to do something, although it may involve
both. It reflects our inner expectation that what we do will
effect the results
we want.
If I lack this belief, then I fear that whatever I do will not
bring about my desired goal. Bordering on helplessness, it leads
to self-defeating thoughts:
"No matter how carefully I diet, I don't lose weight . . ." "I
could work out every day but I'll never get rid of these thunder
thighs . . ." "I try to eat healthier foods but my hips just
keep on spreading . . ." "No matter what techniques I try,
nothing is going to keep the wrinkles away . . ."
If I have a strong sense of self-efficacy, my belief system and
thought patterns will sound like:
"All I have to do is get motivated and I can whip my body into
shape in a few weeks . . ." "I just need to pick a date to start
my diet and I'll be on my way . . ." "I may have neglected
myself for a while but some hard work will bring me back . . ."
Whether or not we start a diet, decide to get in shape, or start
taking better care of ourselves is, ultimately, a personal
decision which may, or may not, be made as we have planned. The
difference lies in the expectation of success and it is always
easier to set out on a journey we anticipate will be successful
than it is to drag ourselves toward a goal where failure is the
most likely outcome.
How can we combine these concepts to work for us in our desire
to become slim, fit, and attractive?
We begin by examining our self-image and how we appear to
others. Merely asking others "Do you think I'm getting too
heavy?" doesn't work unless you have a brutally honest friend or
you ask someone who dislikes you. Most of us are culturally
trained to spare others' feelings so responses to such a
question are more likely to be polite than true.
Concentrating on specifics can produce better feedback. Tell
everyone that you're completing a survey for a class you're
taking. Hand out a brief one page questionnaire requiring that
each friend or coworker list three adjectives to describe
different aspects of your physical appearance. Complete one of
the sheets yourself. Make sure that the answers are anonymous by
requesting that no names be used and having someone else collect
the completed sheets.
Once you have the responses back, compare them to your own
answers and see where the descriptions diverge. You may find
yourself becoming a little defensive: "My hips aren't that big .
. . my clothes do too make me look slim." This isn't an exercise
to make you feel bad about yourself nor for you to gloat over
the unexpected complimentary remarks you received. It is an
organized effort to help you identify where your self-image and
your image-in-the-world move apart. Those areas of divergence
are a place to start in the effort to make the two images
overlap.
Once the areas where work is needed have been identified, it is
time to call on the immeasurable strength of our wonderful mind
to start imposing the structure and organization we are going to
need to effect the desired changes. Our mind can only get us
where we want to go if it is supported by a belief in our
ability to bring about a successful conclusion. Now is the time
to dismiss any expectations of failure. There may have been many
unsuccessful dieting and fitness attempts in the past. Leave
them in the past. We are not somehow doomed to continue
unproductive behaviors forever. We possess that jewel of
evolution, the human mind, which is capable of just about
anything. If we set our mind to any task, it will accomplish it,
if our doubts and misgivings don't get in its way.
We build up our positive expectations by exploring our memories
to pile up a long list of prior successes. There may be major
benchmarks such as bringing about a promotion we wanted,
orchestrating a fantastic event, or working ourselves into an
intensely satisfying relationship. However, the small personal
triumphs count the most but are usually quickly forgotten or
discounted as unimportant.
Studying hard and obtaining a good grade in a difficult class
clearly demonstrates your ability to bring about the results you
want. Go for quantity: the day you smiled at someone across a
smoky room and ended up with a brief but lovely affair; the
report you brought in on time which no one expected; the night
you mastered a spin on ice skates. Keep going: making the drill
team, shooting a stolen basket, making your own prom dress,
dying your hair a wonderful color in your own bathroom, catching
a fly ball, figuring out new software on your computer, burning
your first CD. The list can be endless and will be, as you keep
remembering snippets of the past that you had long buried under
more important things.
Keep this list close by and read it regularly. It is your
personal self-efficacy pep squad.
You now know the areas you are going to work on and are
developing a belief in the effectiveness of your own efforts.
Now you need to identify the internal rewards that successful
weight loss will bring. Feeling good about yourself, enjoying
stepping on a scale, and easily zipping up your clothes are easy
starters. Unselfconsciously walking to the pool in a brief suit
is a reinforcement to dream about. Making a sales presentation
with the confidence that you are looking your absolute best is
an image to relish as you fall asleep. Seeing someone you love
watch you admiringly, or seeing your competitive coworker
jealous, underscores your resolve and keeps you going through
the discomfort of dieting and the demands of boring exercise
routines.
You know where you're going, you know what it's going to take,
and you know you're going to be successful. Your mind is fully
prepared, simply awaiting your day of decision. You'll make that
decision whenever you choose because you are now in control.
About the author:
Virginia Bola is a licensed psychologist and admitted diet
fanatic specializing in the effects of attitudes and motivation
on individual goals. She recently published a
psychologically-based workbook, "Diet with an Attitude" which
develops mental skills for permanent weight control. Reach her
at http://www.DietWithAnAttitude.com/index2.html
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| Hair Loss and Its Causes -- familydoctor.org |
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