|
|
|
Are You Meeting ALL Your Child's Basic Needs?
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are unaware of
the full extent of their child's basic needs.
Do you remember the old song by Lennon and McCartney about
the girl leaving home after 'living alone for so many
years'? The...
Free Happiness
Everyone is pursuing happiness. It's all we've ever been doing... Time to stop now, and consider the goal.
Free Happiness
Everyone pursues happiness, so where is it? Is it scattered about in lots of different places and we can all keep...
PASSION Ration cited in divorce
The Passion Ration
The last straw to finalize divorce proceedings in a marriage is when adultery is committed. I would say the hurt is unbearable for the loving partner who has been betrayed. Innocent Parties like the children and family members...
Tips For Choosing Great Flower Girl Dresses
If you're planning a wedding, you may be tempted to just buy a cute white dress for your flower girl, and have her carry a bouquet that matches yours. After all, she's just a kid, right? And if she looks adorable, the guests will be pleasantly...
To Stay Married, Start Dating
One of my favorite memories from last year was not watching my young daughters rip into their Christmas presents, or seeing them perform in the school talent show. No, my happiest recollection was the date my husband and I went out on one stormy...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Do You Want Your Children to Be Like You?
IMPORTANT – Publication and Reprint Terms
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine,
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated. Please ask permission if you want to publish this article in print.
Commercial use of this article is not allowed, nor are you allowed to post or reprint this article in any sites or publications that contain or support hate, violence, porn, or on any sites or publications that are indecent or illegal. Do no use this article in UCE (Unsolicited Commercial Email) or SPAM. This article must be distributed in opt-in email only.
Title: Do You Want Your Children to Be Like You?
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul
URL: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 674
Category: Parenting
Do You Want Your Children to Be Like You?
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
There is an old saying regarding children: “Do as I say, not as I do.” Whoever coined this phrase didn’t know much about children. Children often do not “do as we say.” We are the role models regarding how our children learn to treat themselves and others. We are the role models regarding whether or not our children learn to take personal responsibility for themselves – physically, emotionally, financially, relationally, spiritually, and organizationally.
Do you avoid responsibility for your own feelings with substances, activities, or with shaming and blaming behavior toward yourself or others? Are you always late and is your desk a mess? Do you eat poorly and lack exercise? Are you always in major credit card debt? Do you lack a relationship with a spiritual source of love and guidance?
If you want your children to be on time, then you need to be on time. If you want your children to be healthy and fit, then you need to be healthy and fit. If you want your children to be honest, then you need to be honest. If you want to raise happy and peaceful children, then you need to role model how to be happy and peaceful. If you want your children to have high self-esteem, then you need to learn to treat yourself and them with kindness and caring. If you treat your children with caring and respect, but your children experience you shaming yourself and treating yourself as if your feelings and needs are not important, there is a good chance they will learn to disrespect themselves as well.
For example, Martin grew up in a family where both of his parents were high achievers and made tons of money. But his mother
was a highly judgmental woman and his father was always unhappy and worried about something. Is it any surprise that Martin does well financially, yet is constantly judging himself and others and is often agitated over minor things?
Angie grew up with a mother who was totally devoted to her. In Angie’s mind, her mother was the ideal mother – kind, compassionate, and always ready to listen to Angie and help her with her problems. Her hardworking father was also a kind and caring person. Yet Angie has a hard time taking loving care of herself. She ignores responsibility for her own feelings, does not feed herself well, is often judgmental toward herself, and has a hard time getting things done. She is constantly seeking out a man to fill her up and make her feel worthy. How did this happen with such loving parents?
While Angie’s parents were loving to her, they were not loving to themselves. Angie’s mother used food to avoid her feelings, and was always giving herself up to please others. In addition, she could never quite get organized and was always late. Angie’s father spent his life working hard and using the TV to avoid his feelings. Neither of Angie’s parents role modeled personal responsibility for their physical and emotional health. Angie was shaped far more by how they treated themselves than how they treated her. In fact, because they treated her so lovingly and treated themselves so unlovingly, Angie grew up believing that it was others’ responsibility to love her and fill her, rather than her own responsibility. She grew up being needy and demanding, rather than personally responsible.
Do you want your children to be like you? As a parent, it is very important to take a look at what you are role modeling for your children – not only regarding how you treat others, but how you treat yourself. If there are certain values that you want your children to have when they grow up, they are far more likely to have your values if they deeply respect you. And they will not respect you if you do not treat yourself with respect. It is highly important, if you want your children to be happy, healthy, and personally responsible, to be a role model of happiness, health and personal responsibility.
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.
|
|
|
|
|
| Happiness (1998) |
| Happiness on IMDb: Movies, TV, Celebs, and more... |
| www.imdb.com |
|
| Happiness - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Happiness is an emotional or affective state that feels good or pleasing. ... Happiness is often correlated to the presence of favorable events (such as a ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Happiness Quotes | Happiness Quotations | Happiness Sayings ... |
| Quotes on Happiness - part of a larger collection of Wisdom Quotes to challenge and inspire. Find Happiness quotations and links to quotes on other topics. |
| www.wisdomquotes.com |
|
| --"Finding True Happiness and Self-actualization" :: How-to-be ... |
| A variety of self-help resources to help people find happiness and achieve self-actualization. Includes books, ebooks, newsletters, and free articles. |
| www.thehappyguy.com |
|
| :: Authentic Happiness :: Using the new Positive Psychology |
| Authentic Happiness has almost 400000 registered users around the world. You are welcome to use all of the resources on this website for free. ... |
| www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu |
|
| Welcome to The Happiness Project |
| The Happiness Project - Official Website of Dr. Robert Holden and The Happiness Project - as featured in the award winning BBC documentary 'How to be Happy' |
| www.happiness.co.uk |
|
| World Database of Happiness |
| A continuous register of scientific research on subjective appreciation of life directed by Ruut Veenhoven, Erasmus University Rotterdam. |
| www.eur.nl |
|
| Happiness Magazine |
| Happiness! Joy! Contentment! These can be yours! Discover how you can be happy in your day to day life. Enjoy yummy recipes and fun puzzles like Sudoku, ... |
| www.happiness.com |
|
| The Way to Happiness |
| The Way to Happiness - a simple, straightforward & direct guide for making good choices. |
| www.twth.org |
|
| Happiness |
| An evolutionary theory of happiness must clarify the connection between the ... The cybernetic theory of happiness says that the presence of these three ... |
| pespmc1.vub.ac.be |
|
| BBC NEWS | Programmes | Happiness Formula |
| Visit BBC News for up-to-the-minute news, breaking news, video, audio and feature stories. BBC News provides trusted World and UK news as well as local and ... |
| news.bbc.co.uk |
|
| Happiness Foundation - Home |
| Copyright 2001-2006, Happiness Foundation. |
| www.happiness.org |
|
| So what do you have to do to find happiness? - Sunday Times ... |
| Behind the neoclassical facade of the Royal Institution, in London's Mayfair, the latest in a 200-year series of lectures was taking place in a hushed ... |
| www.timesonline.co.uk |
|
| CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA: Happiness |
| The primary meaning of this term in all the leading European languages seems to involve the notion of good fortune, good chance, good happening. |
| www.newadvent.org |
|
| TIME Magazine: Mind & Body: Happiness |
| Happiness is not cozy. It gleams most vividly against a background of black ... Most people find happiness in family connections and friendships ... |
| www.time.com |
|
| Happiness |
| Ask Dr. Kenner, clinical psychologist, any personal question toll-free. Happiness has a rational basis. |
| www.drkenner.com |
|
| האפינס happiness |
| HAPPINESS Written and Directed by Todd Solondz 1. EXT. HAPPY'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT. 1. ... JOY To happiness. EVERYONE ELSE To happiness! Glasses clink. ... |
| www.awesomefilm.com |
|
| Reflective Happiness |
| Dr. Seligman has developed a Reflective Happiness Program that ... Dr. Seligman & Reflective Happiness website featured in TIME Magazine cover story [more. ... |
| www.reflectivehappiness.com |
|
| BBC - Happiness - Homepage |
| A website devoted to the BBC Two comedy, Happiness. |
| www.bbc.co.uk |
|
| Pages tagged with "happiness" on del.icio.us |
| All items tagged happiness ??? view popular ... Authentic Happiness :: Using the new Positive Psychology ... Dream World, the world of happiness ... |
| del.icio.us |
|
|