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10 Steps to Happily Ever After
Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have in common? In every one of them you will find two people committed to making each other happy. You will find a man who cherishes his wife and puts her needs above his own, and you will find a...
Dressing A Toddler, Whomever She Is Today
Some things we take for granted. Like getting dressed. Unless we are paraplegic, an absolute klutz or have just smoked far too much cabbage, getting dressed is a cinch.
Sure, if you happen to be the winner of the 2004 Imelda Marcos Shoe...
Japanese Jewelry - expand your options!
Japan jewelry making started less than a hundred years ago. Unlike other crafts in Japan it had a strong influence of Western culture. There was a wonderful miracle was born through the magic of two cultures joining. <br />
<br...
Mom's Car Stereo
Do you remember the car stereo days of youth - windows down, hair wildly blowing and the radio blaring the latest and greatest musical hit? Depending on which friend was with me at the time, my in-dash could be playing dance, hip hop or even heavy...
Moms - Get More Energy Now!
Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect
their wives or partners to do the lion's share.
There are signs that we're moving toward a more enlightened age in which ALL parents play their part.
But in the meantime, let's...
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Our House is a Danger Zone
Home is where the heart is, so they say. But for 20,000 Americans each year, home is where the heart stops beating. According to a 2002 study, that's how many Americans fall victim to fatal injuries in their own homes.
At this rate, it will take just 14,750 years for clumsiness and carelessness to wipe out the entire population. Fortunately, al-Qaeda is not aware of this statistic and remains fixated on ka-booming things instead of creating mass clumsiness and carelessness.
But is it true that home is no longer a safe haven? Is home really a foreboding lair of unpredictable dangers? Has home become the very place where we are most likely to look evil square in the eyes and say, in all sincerity, "AAAAARRRRGGHHH!"
My home is.
We have a smoke alarm in our home. Smoke alarms are supposed to be the good guys, right? They warn us about impending suffocation by smoke-breathing fire.
Not ours. Our smoke alarm warns us of slightly warm soon-to-be-toast. It lets out an ear-splitting screech. Yes, split-ear injuries are becoming commonplace in our home.
And the toaster is an obvious accomplice. How else would the smoke alarm know to attack just as the soon-to-be-toast warms up?
Diapers are becoming dangerous, too. Aside from the obvious hazards of unsanitary suffocation when a toddler in a dirty diaper won't stop squirming and wriggling, and makes her way across your face toward the couch, there is the parent factor to consider.
Not long ago, I had been looking after the kids all morning. Having just waged diaper-change on Little Sister for the third time that morning, and believing I had won, I was ready for some fresh challenges. When my wife chose that moment to walk into the room, I thought her timing was particularly fortuitous.
Just how fortuitous, I was about to learn.
As I headed toward my office to get some work done, she sniffed the
new diaper. Making a funny face..."Pee-ew! She did this on your watch. Here, you take her."
I hightailed it to my desk, "No way. I just changed her. You take her."
"She's all yours," she insisted.
"No more dirty diapers," I cried, ducking behind a chair. "Somebody call 9-1-1. My wife is chasing me with a loaded baby!"
Having children at either end of toddlerhood opens up all kinds of opportunities for injuries. It seems they each take their rolls very seriously. Little Sister drops as much food on the floor as she can get her fingers into. And Little Lady is only too happy to help her little sister slip on that food later.
Of course, Little Sister is very polite, and she quickly reciprocates by grabbing Little Lady to hold her balance. Have you ever been grabbed by a 14-month old baby-toddler? She makes a pit bull's bite feel tender as a gentle ocean breeze.
And she always knows just the right places to grab, so that any family member can easily compete with the smoke alarm in volume, tone and free-style split-ear injury creation.
Yes, the home has become an ominous booby trap, launching its attack on families where they least expect it. When even the toaster and the smoke alarm collaborate on home insurgencies, can all-out warfare be far behind?
But I will have the final laugh. Just wait 'til I rewire the smoke alarm. Who needs to warned about smoke, anyway? In this house we need to be warned about dirty diapers. Hey, I feel a new invention coming on.
About the Author
David Leonhardt is author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/Item.asp?Catalog=Books&Item=059517826X
Read more personal growth articles:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html
Visit his liquid vitamins store:
http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net
Or his happiness website:
http://www.thehappyguy.com
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| Happiness (1998) |
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