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Wedding Traditions Unveiled
Weddings are that special occasion where two people come
together to celebrate their love for one another. Yet, was it
always this way? How did marriage come to be, and what is the
meaning behind some of the many strange traditions observed
today?
We assume that marriage has always been a sanctimonious
tradition; however marriage was not originally about "holy
matrimony" or "true love." The original intent of marriage was
to insure a safe environment for the bringing up of children, as
well as the acquisition and transfer of property. Indeed it is
the rather superficial "marriage of convenience" which can be
viewed as the original meaning of marriage. Eventually marriage
became more about love, and less about property. Throughout that
time, though, numerous different traditions and superstitions
have surfaced. Here are just a few of these.
In Ghana, Africa, location is everything. Women in Ghana are
viewed as the life force of the tribe. After all, they were
where all the great warriors and chiefs came from. Because of
this, Zulu culture referred to women as "the great homes."
Because of this status, it was considered customary for the
husband to be, to move to his bride's village.
The Mande people of Africa practice clitoridectomies (female
circumcision). During this time, the women are taught how to be
good wives. They are also taught a special "secret" language
that is only spoken by married women.
A common African tradition is "jumping over the broom." The
broom has become a symbol of the sweeping out of the old, to
welcome in the new. The part about jumping over is actually of
North American origin. It was from the days of slavery, when
slaves were not allowed to marry. By jumping over the broom, the
couple was solidifying the seriousness of their marriage.
In 1076, in Europe, it was decreed that no man should give away
his daughter, or other female relative, without a priestly
blessing. Interestingly enough, it wasn't until the 16th century
that priests were even required to perform wedding ceremonies.
Another interesting medieval tradition: women at the time would
pluck their hairlines in order to attain higher foreheads, which
were considered more attractive at the time.
Conservative/Orthodox Jews have a neat tradition where the bride
walks 3 to 7 times around her husband to be. This is done to
signify that she is a protective wall for her husband, and that
by stepping inside, their family status has changed. Ah, but
what of the breaking of glass? This is done to represent the
many, many tragedies that have befallen the Jewish people. It
acts as a reminder of those bad times.
Interestingly, the Muslim faith doesn't really celebrate
weddings. A marriage is strictly an officious occasion. The
marriage occurs inside an office, rather than a mosque. The
wedding is viewed as a private civil/religious contract. The
only real tradition here is that the groom must give his bride a
dower to serve as insurance for her future.
Japanese (Shinto) weddings are also small and private affairs,
though they are far more elaborate. Both bride and groom sip
three times from three separate cups of sake. It is done to
guarantee luck and happiness in the marriage.
Chinese brides are given chestnuts and jujubes. This was done
with the wish of the bride to conceive a son as soon as
possible. Brides wear red dresses to symbolize the color of love
and joy. As we shall see further down, Europeans viewed the
color red in a completely different light.
Speaking of Europeans, many Eastern orthodox ceremonies featured
the placement of wreaths on the heads of both bride and groom.
It was done to symbolize their place as king and queen of the
heavenly kingdom of Earth.
With such a wide variety of traditions out there, it is
interesting to note that two of them are almost universal among
human culture: the wedding veil and the wedding ring.
The Veil
Wedding veils saw their origin among the Romans. Ancient Romans
believed that women were particularly susceptible to possession
by demonic spirits during weddings (perhaps they had a lot of
runaway brides back then). The veil was used to "confuse" these
spirits. To further help the bride out, bridesmaids were dressed
in clothing similar to the bride's. They were to act as decoys
for these demons.
When Christianity took over, the veil was changed to represent
chastity and modesty. This really took off in Britain during the
1800s. During some Eastern ceremonies, the groom is not allowed
to remove his wife's veil until after the ceremony. Jewish faith
took the exact opposite approach. In some Jewish ceremonies, the
groom first validates that the bride is his intended, before
placing the veil over her face.
The Ring
Wedding rings are probably the oldest wedding traditions out
there. They can be traced back over four thousand years, to the
Egyptians. Ancient Egyptians would make rings out of twisted
pieces of plants. The ring was meant to symbolize a love with no
end. Egyptians and Romans both placed the ring on the 4th finger
of the female's left hand. This was done out of the belief that
there was a vein on the 4th finger that connected directly to
the heart. It was called the "vena amoris," or "love vein." When
Christianity became the dominant religion
of Europe, the vena
amoris was replaced with a holy seal. Priests would take the
wedding ring and touch the first three fingers of the left hand
(thumb, index and middle) while reciting: "the father, the son
and the holy ghost." Upon reaching the 4th finger, the ring was
placed on it to seal the marriage.
For a long while the ring went from being a symbol of endless
love, to that of ownership. The Romans used it like a branding.
It was worn by the husband's wife, to signify his ownership over
her. Two thousand years ago, in Asia, this ownership concept was
taken to a new level with "puzzle rings." These were rings that
were worn by brides as a sign of loyalty. If a bride were to
take her puzzle ring off, it would fall to pieces. These pieces
could then only be put back together by knowing the solution to
the puzzle.
So what of the history of other common wedding traditions?
One interesting tradition is the presence of a flower on the
buttonhole of the groom. The flower matches one of the flowers
in the bride's bouquet. This was a holdover from medieval times,
when a knight would wear his lady's colours in order to signify
his love for her. I suppose that means that in one small way,
chivalry isn't dead.
Then we have the confetti. Prior to being paper, confetti was
originally a mix of rose petals, rice and grain. Before that, it
consisted of various sweets which were thrown over the couples
as they emerged from the church. It originated in Italy. In
fact, confetti is Italian for: candy.
Finally, what "history of weddings" article would be complete,
without a brief rundown of some popular wedding superstitions?
The day that a wedding took place, was considered to be vitally
important. As such, a little rhyme was concocted to allow future
couples to pick the appropriate days for their marriage.
Monday for wealth Tuesday for health Wednesday the best day of
all Thursday for losses Friday for crosses Saturday for no luck
at all
Then there was the month. Depending on what month one was
married in, one's marriage could be glorious or tragic. By far
the worst month of all, was May. This was due to the historic
pagan belief that May was the start of summer. This was
celebrated by the festival of Beltane (commonly called May Day,
now). As part of the festival, couples were encouraged to have
outdoor orgies to bless the crops and the Earth. Because of
this, it was considered a bad month for a newly monogamous
couple to marry. The best month of all, for marriage, was June.
This was because June was named after the Roman goddess of love:
Juno. Interestingly, June is now the second most popular month
for marriages. August has recently taken over the top spot for
weddings.
Next we come to the bridal dress itself. While most brides today
marry in white (which symbolizes maidenhood), the tradition is
only as old as the 16th century. Prior to that, brides chose
whatever colour dress they would like. There was a general rule
of thumb though.
Married in White, you have chosen right, Married in Blue, your
love will always be true, Married in Pearl, you will live in a
whirl, Married in Brown, you will live in a town, Married in
Red, you will wish yourself dead, Married in Yellow, ashamed of
your fellow, Married in Green, ashamed to be seen, Married in
Pink, your spirit will sink, Married in Grey, you will go far
away, Married in Black, you will wish yourself back.
Green dresses were viewed as being a sign of promiscuity. This
lead to the old saying that a woman "has a green gown." This was
meant to signify that she was rolling around in grassy fields.
Back then, only Irish women were considered "okay" in a green
bridal gown.
Last, but not least, we have the classic wedding rhyme:
Something old, something new. It started back in Victorian
times, but what does it mean?
Something old: This represents the friends of the couple and the
hopes that they will remain friends throughout the marriage.
This was traditionally represented by an old garter which would
be given to the bride to be, by a happily married woman. It was
done in the hope that the happiness would be passed onto the new
couple.
Something new: The happy and prosperous future of the newlyweds.
Something borrowed: This is something lent by the bride's
family. It is often an item that is highly valued, and that the
bride must return after the wedding in order to ensure good
luck.
Something blue: This is an Israelite tradition. The bride would
wear a blue ribbon in her hair to symbolize fidelity.
There is one more part to the rhyme that is often omitted:
And a silver sixpence in your shoe: The placement of money in
the bride's shoe was done to ensure wealth and prosperity in the
lives of the new couple. For some reason or another, this
portion of the tradition doesn't appear as popular. Perhaps that
is why so many couples run into money problems?
So, when you are consulting the "Ms. Manners" of wedding
etiquette, remember, it's mostly just folk lore. Just be sure to
bring the ring.
About the author:
The Iconoclast is a student at the University Of New Mexico and
part of the web building team at Gifteteria.com. View Wedding
and Shower gifts at http://www.gifteteria.com/WeddingPage.html
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