|
|
|
Opposite Attracts Laughter!
The secret in comedy writing is association. Let's see how this
technique generates hilarious result. By association means by
pairing or combining thoughts, images or even words together.
The most popular and obvious form of association in...
Reminisce and have fun with Refrigerator Magnets
It can be confidently said that a vast majority of refrigerators
here in America has at least two or more refrigerator magnets
attached to them. Every single person I know has them,
especially if there are kids in the household. Many...
The Toilet Seat
Very early on in life I gained a healthy respect for an extremely simple yet ‘sofa’ comfortable piece of plastic mould, a feature that is found in most houses, public places, restaurants and in trains, planes and larger sized all-in-one camper...
Tickle Your Funny Bone
Practicing humor can lift tension, reduce stress, diffuse confrontation, improve communication, and enhance your relationship with others in any group. It can also increase productivity, learning ability, cooperation, teamwork, and profits while...
Whistle While You Work
The idea of using humor to enhance business to increase creativity, improve relationships, minimize stress and develop client attractability is not a new one. It’s been around for over fifteen years.
The recent North America humor movement...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
3 Surefire Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices
3 Surefire Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices
by Tim Ward
I have heard the rumblings of many of you in
Readerland about the recent spike in
gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to
hear about lately. But at least it keeps you
from rumbling about the infrequency of my columns
and articles. Nonetheless, I have decided to
try to help you get through this crisis by
generously providing: 3 Ways to Combat Rising
Gas Prices!
1. Don't Drive Your Car
This is, of course, the most obvious solution.
If you never take the old Plymouth out the
driveway, then it won't matter that at current
gas prices it takes $125 to fill up the 30 gallon
gas tank, or that you only get about 2.51 miles
to the gallon. If you never drive, you could
care less.
Of course, I know what you're going to say. "But
Tim, I have places I need to go-like work. And
the kids have school and soccer practice. And
then there's grocery shopping and yoga lesssons
and dinner at the Richardsons and blah blah blah
and...." Ok, I get the point. Not everyone can
sit around the house writing not-so-funny articles
and searching the Internet for Drew Barrymore
photos like me. I fully understand that some of
you have a life. But just because you don't drive
your own car doesn't mean you can't get around.
The answer?
2. Carpool
It's seems so simple now doesn't it. Instead of
using your gas-Use Someone Elses! Have someone else
pay $5.50 a gallon for gas to take your kids to
school. Make someone else dip into their retirement
fund just so they can cover the gas bill needed to
get you to the office and back everyday. Make someone
else get a second job so that they can have a full
tank of gas in their SUV when your daughter needs
to cruise the mall. It's so simple.
Of course, the concept behind carpooling is that
everyone takes turns driving. So in a normal carpool
situation you would eventually be required to use
your car and spend your money driving others around.
But this is not a Normal Carpool Situation, this is
a Tim Ward Carpool Situation (TWCPS). In a TWCPS you
avoid using your own car by making it so that the other
carpool participants would rather walk barefoot on 120
degree asphalt than ride with you. You achieve this by:
(a) never washing or cleaning your car. Leave it
looking and smelling like the county landfill.
(b) Have the worst behaved child in your family sitting
in the front seat at all
times. Feed the child lots of
candy so he/she is always superhyper.
(c) Refuse to discuss anything in your car except your
spouses bad bathing habits, bodily fluids, hang nails,
chest hair, etc.
(d) Only play reggae music on the radio. Loud!
You shouldn't have to worry about anyone wanting to
ride with you ever again.
3. Ride the Bus/Subway
Many cities have a mass transit system that is an
alternative to driving your own vehicle. If you live
in a city that doesn't have one don't worry-you can
always move. Of course, riding public transportation
does have a few drawbacks, but these can be easily
overcome if you follow these simple guidelines:
1. No matter what happens never, ever make eye contact
with anyone. Making eye contact is an invitation for
someone to mug you.
2. No matter what happens never, ever give up your seat
to anyone. This is seen as weakness, and will be taken
as an invitation to mug you.
3. No matter how tempted you are never, ever strike up
a conversation with the person sitting next or across
from you. This is very annoying and can be taken as an
invitation for someone to mug you. Or worse, for someone
to talk back.
4. Always make sure you are alert to get on and off at the
right stop. Getting off at the wrong stop can lead to
immediate mugging.
5. Never, ever take children with you on public transportation.
Fellow passengers hate children. Children make you definite
mug victim material.
Well, there you have it. 3 ways to deal with rising gas prices.
Hopefully, you will be able to use these methods to keep
from spending twice your car's Blue Book value just going
to Walmart. Hopefully, next time your friends are grumbling
and ranting about the mounting gas prices you will be able to
just sit back and smile, content because the issue no longer
concerns you. Hopefully, I've once more helped my loyal readers
in a time of crisis. And all I ask in return as a simple
thank you next time you see me. Just make sure we're not on
the bus. I'd hate to have to mug you...
About the Author
Timothy Ward publishes the Ward Wide Webzine, a publication that refuses to bring you anything but the best articles and internet marketing tips. it is also slam-packed with humor and laughs. Subscribers are expected to interact through contest and submissions. To subscribe now visit:
http://www.wardwidewebzine.goduck.net
|
|
|
|
|
| Humor in the Yahoo! Directory |
| Find sites dedicated to all things funny, including jokes, comedy, quotes, and also humorous sites relating to animals, entertainment, and the bizarre. |
| dir.yahoo.com |
|
| College Humor |
| Everything that's funny on the Internet is right here. Funny pictures, funny videos, and lots of boobies. |
| www.collegehumor.com |
|
| Open Directory - Recreation: Humor |
| Arts: Comics (5279); Arts: Illustration: Cartoons (135); Arts: Performing Arts: Comedy (1506); News: Analysis and Opinion: Columnists: Humor (192) ... |
| dmoz.org |
|
| Humour - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| This article discusses humour in terms of comedy and laughter. ... Mintz, Lawrence E. Humor in America: A Research Guide to Genres and Topics. ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Humor Posters at AllPosters.com |
| Humor Posters at AllPosters.com. Choose from over 300000 posters and prints. Professional custom framing available. |
| www.allposters.com |
|
| Humor: See what people are saying right now on Technorati |
| See all blog posts tagged with humor on Technorati. |
| www.technorati.com |
|
| Political Humor - Jokes Satire and Political Cartoons |
| The Web's leading source for political humor, providing a witty and irreverent look at bizarre antics inside, outside and below the Beltway. |
| politicalhumor.about.com |
|
| Psychology Humor |
| What's the surest sign that a subject isn't really a science? They're the ones whose proponents spend the most time trying to insist that their field is a ... |
| www.psych.upenn.edu |
|
| Pages tagged with "humor" on del.icio.us |
| All items tagged humor ??? view popular ... Reason Magazine - All I Think Is That It's Stupid · save this. by karindalziel to humor ... 54 mins ago ... |
| del.icio.us |
|
| About Humor - Comedy - Jokes - Cartoons - New Funny Sites - Humor ... |
| New sick jokes every weekday plus new links each week to the best in humor and sickness on the Net. From About.com. |
| humor.about.com |
|
| Funny and Humorous T-Shirts and Gifts at CafePress.com : Shop Over ... |
| Funny T-shirts and Gifts. Humor Gifts. Share a laugh with funny t-shirts, stickers and more! See all results... Categories within Funny T-shirts and Gifts ... |
| www.cafepress.com |
|
| Húmor.is |
| Flokkur. Allt, bílar, Blabla, blog, boltinn, haha, Íslenskt, leikir, Minn Sirkus, myndir, video, webcam, wtf. Sýna +18 tengla Já/Nei ... |
| www.humor.is |
|
| Extreme Funny Humor |
| But, if we say you can learn to become extremely funny spontaneously in just 7 days? Check out the one and only course to develop your humor sense to beyond ... |
| www.extremefunnyhumor.com |
|
| Rec.humor.funny jokes and comedy |
| Includes jokes posted to the newsgroup and updates 2-3 times a day. |
| www.netfunny.com |
|
| Philosophical humor |
| Philosophical humor. Compiled by David Chalmers. Some bits and pieces I've come across. Additions are always welcome. Lists and litanies ... |
| consc.net |
|
| SpikedHumor.com » Welcome to Spiked Entertainment ( Movies - Flash ... |
| Spikedhumor.com provides the best internet viral enterainment and comedy. |
| www.spikedhumor.com |
|
| Humour Links Comedy Sites Directory |
| Large searchable database of humor sites split into appropriate categories, and rated by users. Also features tools for webmasters to integrate the ... |
| www.humorlinks.com |
|
| The Humor Archives - funny jokes, pictures, cartoons and movies |
| humor rss feed · Add to Google · Add to My Yahoo! Add to Bloglines · Add to Netvibes · Add to My AOL. Virtual Categories. Geeks · George W. Bush · Money ... |
| www.thehumorarchives.com |
|
| Joe Monster.org - Probably The Best Page In The Universe |
| Humor ekskluzywny. Fotki filmiki * flashe * gierki * dowcipy * forum. Material czesto prowokacyjny. Politycznie niepoprawny. Pozostawia trwale slady w ... |
| joemonster.org |
|
| HumorON.com - You never want it to turn it off anymore! |
| Welcome to this humoron dot com website we provide you the most funniest, shocking & most amazing videos each day! so turn you let us turn your humor back ... |
| www.humoron.com |
|
|