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Diary Complaints
My wife keeps a diary, and sometimes leaves it open with the last entry in view on the coffee table. I'm a person who wouldn't want to read another person's diary, even my wife's, diaries being personal. But out of a corner of my eye, on the diary...
Eternal Wit
Whoever said, "You can't take it with you" was obviously not referring to a sense of humor ...
Here is a list of actual epitaphs from departed souls who clearly had more to say than the time to say it, or from their next of kin, who wanted...
Losing Your Voice
This past weekend I lost my voice. I wasn't sick. Rather, I
experienced "severe voice strain" from yelling quite loudly and
in a panic-stricken manner at our two large dogs, who were
having a violent fight over a tennis ball.
At first I was...
Taking A Little Time Out For Time
Today's topic, ladies and gentleman, is: Time. We're going to talk about time today because I never seem to have enough of it. And I figure that if I dedicate a whole column to the subject of time and stress some of it's finer points, then perhaps...
You Think You've Got Communication Problems Where You Work? Read This.
Here are some maintenance log entries from a major airline – or so the email says, showing the problems reported by pilots (P) and solutions recorded by mechanics (S). It’s probably true. You couldn’t make these things up. P: Left inside main try...
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Save on Gas Prices
=================================================================
Article Title: Save on Gas Prices
Article Author: Rocky Ramsey
Article Autoresponder:
mailto:Gas@MoviesMoneyandMore.com
Author Contact Email:
mailto:rock@MoviesMoneyandMore.com
Formatted to 65 Characters per Line
Word Count: 426 words
Category: Humor, General
Copyright Date: 2004
*Article Use Guidelines*
This article may be used freely in opt-in
publications and websites, provided that
the resource box is included and the links
are active.
Please forward a courtesy copy of the issue
to: mailto:rock@MoviesMoneyandMore.com
Other articles by Rocky Ramsey are available online
at http://www.MoviesMoneyandMore.com/
Thanks,
Rock
----------------------------------------------------------------
Save on Gas Prices
By Rocky Ramsey
With gas prices at an all-time high, I thought I'd share a
website with you from the Federal Trade Commission that gives
several suggestions for saving gas. You can check out the site
http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/autos/gasave.htm.
I thought about summarizing it for you, but after much
reflection, I decided against it. I could've mentioned that if
you have any extra weight in your car, you should get rid of it.
This means that the next time your mother-in-law wants to go
somewhere with you, you can tell her she needs to stay home
because you're trying to save gas and can't carry around any
extra weight. And it would be the truth.
Then there's the tip that you should inflate your tires to the
air pressure recommended by your owner's manual. I didn't
mention this because I knew as soon as I did, I'd get an email
like the following from Billy Bob Ray Bob. If you
don't know
Billy Bob Ray Bob, you probably know one of his relatives.
Dear Rock,
I done went and tried one of them there suggestions you put
in your ezine. Cause my truck only gits 3 miles to the gallon
I would like to git better mileage.
I hooked up an air hose to pump up my tires, but it took too
dang long. I decided to go inside the store and git a beer
and some lottery tickets while I waited for it to pump up.
Well don't you know it that there tire got too much air in it
and done went and blew up!
Pieces of tire done flew through the window of that filling
station and broke that big window in front. Children screamed.
Car alarms go off and people run for cover cause they think
it's another one of them terror attacks.
My lawyer done tole me that I should tell you that he's suing
you for bad tips.
Sincerely,
Billy Bob Ray Bob
Of course I would have to respond to this.
Dear Billy Bob Ray Bob:
I find it commendable that you want to increase your gas
mileage. If my truck only got 3 miles to the gallon, I'd want
to something to increase my gas mileage too. The
recommendation was to inflate your tires to the air pressure
recommended in your owner's manual, not to blow up your tire
and scare children.
- Rock
If you're looking for a fuel efficient car, check out
www.fueleconomy.gov.
For the lowest local gas prices, check out gaspricewatch.com
and www.gasbuddy.com.
About the Author
Rocky Ramsey publishes Movies, Money and More, A humorous ezine
and website featuring movie reviews, entertainment news,
save/make money and more. You don't know what you're missing if
you don't take a look. http://www.MoviesMoneyandMore.com
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