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Whack-O-Matic

Copyright © 2005 Tammy Clayton

Morning coffee with the internet has become a tradition of mine in recent years. The internet holds a much greater variety of information than the newspaper, as well as less depressing things to read at the beginning of the day. No one should have to wake up with murder and mayhem in their face. A more pleasant mindset is found in waking to check the weather, respond to a note from a friend, or reading about an exciting new plant. This morning I went to look for further information on a particularly nifty new plant on one of my vendor’s sites. Not finding that I clicked on another link that caught my attention in their Garden Writers section.

"Meatballs, Soapboxes and Tuna Cans", to be precise.

To a person who has never been employed within the landscape industry, that phrase would bring to mind food. To insiders it would have a far different meaning. Of course where I worked it was baseballs and cubes. So this morning’s coffee was sipped between chuckles.

The author (head of sales) I would venture to say is younger than 50. Those over 50 feel that these balls, cubes, footballs or tuna cans are a staple that is required in the landscape. For the life of me I have never understood why we must have them. What is so necessary about using a shrub far to large for its placement and whacking off it’s limbs to shape it into an unnatural form? Off with its head! It should wear a size 42 long jacket, but we will force it to fit comfortably into a 10 short. It is interesting to note that also helpless poodles have also fallen victim to this manner of unnatural shaping and they are not plants. A month ago I witnessed a house cat shorn in this manner.

Mr. Woods, who wrote the afore mentioned article, has developed the opinion that it is an inherent human instinct. That we humans have so little that we actually have complete control over that our psyche has tuned in to the helpless shrubs in our yard. While I giggled often while reading his words, it struck me that he has a good point. Why else would we so cruelly inhibit the wild beauty of a shrub? In my early years I had no reason to argue with my father, the professional landscaper as to why we must do this. Quite the contrary, originally I assisted him in his whacking while trying to mimic his methods. It wasn’t until I started to design plantings and began to see plants for their own individual beauty that I began to question this barbaric practice. It has come to be a long standing argument between us over the years. He refuses to budge from his Pro Juniper stance, insisting we simply MUST have the prickly old things. Yews and Burning Bushes have their place and are quite lovely if not placed where they can be gently shaped not beaten in submission twice a season.

During my contracting days, I would arrive at a clients home for a meeting about a landscape facelift to find the sad remains of Burning Bushes, Yews and Junipers that had resided along the walk or foundation for decades. All of them left much to be desired in the looks department after the last harsh whacking. Common sense told me that following decades of cruel treatment, the poor things have given


up growing hair. Why should they continue to grow it if for the past 25 years every attempt was quickly lopped off? How much squelching of creativity can a being endure before throwing in the towel? In voicing this thought to successful lawyers and surgeons , I must admit I was rewarded with raised eyebrows. Why do we insist on planting a shrub that will grow eight foot tall and 12 foot wide in a 30 inch wide space and insist it does not exceed those confines? I am in agreement with Mr. Woods, it is one area to have complete control over in our lives.

So there I stand with this super successful professional, a man of high learning, who wants to know how we can coax this spent row of 5 foot tall trunks and stems along his walk into growing more hair in the bottoms. He thinks that fertilizer cures all of man’s cruelty. (Remember that you must see things through the eye of the plant?) How am I to explain this to this person! My professional self developed a cunning approach. “A landscape has a life expectancy of about 20 years. Yours seems to be about 5 years overdue for replanting.” If this was not enough to convince the customer, I would go on to ask how long the wallpaper in their kitchen had hung there. Explaining that redecorating outdoors was just as necessary to variety in life than it was to keep up to date with their interior décor. But they wanted back what they had before it turned into bare branches! The issue of certain control may very well be the answer.

Now I am not against hedges. I am not anti-evergreen. Pruning, thinning and shaping is of definite necessity to full and lovely shrubs and even some trees. Even every other aspect of life we look for the right thing to accomplish the task, but when it comes to the plants we place in our yards we seem to fall short in the search for the proper element. Proper planning should be the first consideration and whacking could become almost obsolete. It is good to know that plant breeders are busily developing new Arborvitaes and Yews that will stay in a nice little meatball shape without whacking. News that will lessen the maintenance you must forfeit your weekend to perform, alleviate the need to butcher the bushes and make all the hedge trimmer companies hold their breath over next year’s third quarter earnings.

As for the aspect of proper planning vs. constant replacement, if the space is 30 inches wide, then it would be best to consider installing only those shrubs that will never exceed 4 foot in width. Remember, a little shaping is good and a harsh whacking is lowering the life expectancy of the elements in your landscape. Proper planning is one of the best tools in creating a low maintenance planting.

-------------------

Read more great Gardening articles at:
http://www.lostintheflowers.com

About the Author

Raised by a highly respected & successful landscape contractor in the metro Detroit area, Clayton wanted a career in anything but landscaping! Now an award-winning landscape designer, Clayton runs Flowerville Farms, a mail-order nursery in Michigan. Read more at LostInTheFlowers.com.

 

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Content Menu
  • 10 home decorating ideas to quickly update any room

  • 10 tips for a window coverings makeover

  • 12 considerations when choosing contemporary lighting

  • 20th century home decorating guide

  • 3 kinds of wood used in real wood furniture

  • 5 essential factors of a good bedroom design

  • 5 external climatic factors that affect an interior design project

  • 5 fast ideas to freshen the look of your room

  • 5 most popular styles of christmas ornaments

  • 5 things your christmas table should not be without

  • 5 top bathroom decorating style ideas

  • 6 factors that affect a bedroom design project

  • 6 ways to use an area rug

  • 6 ways to use contemporary area rugs in your home decor

  • 9 ways to inexpensively decorate your bathroom

  • add some pizzazz to your powder room

  • an introduction to shutters

  • an overview of commonly used materials in interior design

  • area rug buyers guide

  • are your houseplants safe

  • art prints for home decorating

  • a beautiful carpet sets the mood of any room

  • a guide to choosing the right closet

  • a guide to interior shutters

  • a study of furniture elements for smaller bedrooms

  • balanced decorating

  • basic furniture and its place in design

  • beautifying your home

  • breaking away from white paint walls

  • building closet organizers

  • building or decorating your home requires house plans

  • buying custom wood blinds

  • carpet takes center stage

  • cat decorating protecting your pet

  • cat decor finding the beauty in cat decorating

  • ceiling medallions crown molding and ceiling domes 3 ways to add elegance and beauty to any room

  • chill out with a quality ceiling fan

  • choosing beautiful furniture for you home

  • christmas decorating ideas

  • classic home decorating with empire furniture

  • consider sunroom plans for a luxury addition

  • consult interior designer for flooring

  • country home accessories

  • cozyin up to winter

  • create an underwater adventure in your childs room

  • creating unique details with wallpaper borders decorating with wallpaper

  • decorating a childs room to look like a mysterious jungle and teaching them something too

  • decorating a comfort zone

  • decorating for thanksgiving budget friendly decor for the holiday

  • decorating frugally

  • decorating then make a smart flooring choice

  • decorating toolbox 101

  • decorating to sell a house by meeting three key needs

  • decorating transit areas

  • decorating where theres a will theres a way

  • decorating with authentic zebra decor

  • decorating with interior shutters

  • decorating with table fountains

  • decorating your entrance foyer

  • decorating your home 5 style tips that cost less than 50

  • decor for cats protecting your home

  • decor for cat owners protecting your posessions

  • dummies guide to interior design color schemes

  • eastern influences on western interiors japanese decor part i of ii color texture and contrast display

  • elements of interior design

  • emphasize your decor style in seven easy ways

  • empire furniture for home decorating

  • extending the living space outdoors working with color

  • exterior paint schemes for historical houses

  • five tips for helping your guests feel at home

  • five ways to create a healthy home

  • floral futon covers

  • four decorative painting techniques

  • from toss out to sensational keeper lamp re make

  • furnishing and decorating your own home

  • furniture placement secrets

  • furniture styles for your home decorating ideas

  • get your home ready for the holidays

  • granite countertops an overview

  • hand painted furniture the must have home furnishings of the season

  • hardwood floors for interior design and for home decorating

  • have you considered these space saving bed designs to maximize your interior decorating space

  • help choosing door and window hardware

  • heres why interior decorating makes a statement about you

  • holiday decorating can cast a warm glow all year

  • holiday decorating tips christmas candles

  • holiday decorating tips thanksgiving a time for gratitude and giving

  • home decorating ideas for different furniture styles

  • home fragrance in vogue

  • home furnishing and decorating your home with designs

  • home improvements planning

  • home improvement projects that really pay off

  • home interior decorating

  • how do home furnishing experts study an interior space

  • how do i finalize budget for my bedroom design project

  • how to achieve indirect lighting in interior design

  • how to change a rooms dimension using wall pictures

  • how to choose a safe color to paint your rooms

  • how to decorate ethnic

  • how to decorate your home on ebay

  • how to extend your living space outdoors working with color

  • how to generate ideas for your bedroom design

  • how to lend your home a rustic decor theme

  • how to use accessories in a bedroom decorating project

  • how to use picture frames to decorate an interior space

  • how to use wall finishes in a bedroom design project

  • ideas for closet organizers

  • ideas for your interior christmas decorating

  • index

  • interior decorating and home decor needs

  • interior decorating and home decor with inuit art from the arctic north

  • interior decorating and home decor with native american indian art

  • interior decorating for cat owners

  • interior decorating themes

  • interior decorating themes whats your decorating style

  • interior designing

  • interior design for cat owners

  • in the mood

  • its easy being green at home

  • its spring lets decorate

  • it s spring let s decorate

  • keep your yard ornamental with sago palm care

  • landscaping how does your garden grow

  • leather is a great choice in your decor

  • log cabin living soften the decor with fabric artwork and plants

  • make your house feel more like a home

  • new decor for a new year

  • new trends in design and comfortable living

  • new trends in design comfortable living

  • not only should ones bedroom be a refuge but it should also be a sanctuary

  • one way to create extra space in your home is with closet organizers

  • optical illusions of interior decorating how to make the most of your living space

  • practical feng shui debunking the myths and finding out what we can actually learn from the ancients

  • prefabricated homes primer

  • principles of interior design

  • putting passion back into home decorating

  • real vs artificial christmas trees

  • roman shades give old house a rich look

  • rotator

  • selecting bean bag chairs to suit your home decor

  • selling your home dont be a victim

  • seven ways to emphasize a decor style

  • shag area rugs a great way to create a safe and easy to clean home

  • shag area rugs one of the most popular floor coverings around

  • simplicity with your home wall decor

  • smarten your interiors

  • stair rail decorating ideas

  • staying in tune with the change of season

  • study of

  • study of interior design as a reflection of the mind

  • style and perfection in home decoration with plantation shutters

  • style elegance of shutters and safety of hurricane shutters

  • style on a budget simple changes dramatic results

  • style your home with decorative plantation shutters

  • tasteful home decorating changes your house into a home

  • ten tips to ensure that you choose the right carpet for your home or office

  • the art of home decoration

  • the art of selecting your homes art

  • the beauty of a contemporary ceiling fan

  • the benefits of exterior shutters

  • the benefits of wood blinds

  • the concept of dynamic space in bedroom design

  • the concept of positive and negative spaces in interior design

  • the four essential tips to consider before choosing flooring for your home

  • the importance of bedroom design in a home decoration project

  • the importance of lighting in an interior design project

  • the latest flower trends in interior decorating for your home office

  • the magic of color

  • the magic of using wooden window blinds

  • the new stone in technical ceramics for interior decorating ideas

  • the oriental vs contemporary bedroom design theory

  • the truth about color schemes in an interior design project

  • the two pillars of a successful interior design project

  • the ultimate yard sale guide for home decorators

  • things to consider when purchasing sunroom kits

  • thinking about home improvement then heres a checklist

  • three easy home improvements for under 100 00

  • tips for buying sunroom kits

  • tips on budget decorating

  • too much stuff syndrome or how decorating and organizing can help your sanity

  • tuscan style decorating three essentials

  • use outdoor rugs to decorate your outdoor space

  • using window coverings to enlighten your home

  • wallpaper doesnt just cover it defines the room

  • warm your home with a taste of the tropics

  • whack o matic

  • whats old is new again

  • what does it take to be an interior designer

  • what is a platform bed

  • what should you know about house flooring

  • what to consider before you start decorating your home

  • where to find discount home furnishings

  • window blinds and curtains top decorating tips

  • window curtains help with adding more privacy to your home