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10 Steps to Success in Love and Marriage
This new book provides you with the essential dating knowledge you need to empower you to make smarter decisions. It teaches you how to manage the risks and uncertainties in a love relationship. The secrets have less to do with luck. Marriage is all...
Extramarital Affairs: When Sexual Addiction and Infidelity Meet
One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The partner involved in the affair, plain and simple, has a difficult time saying "NO." He/she may want to, but feels compelled to say "yes."
People can’t say no? Well, I believe...
Is She Cheating? - Many Unsuspecting Husbands Find Out Too Late
Couples therapists report a 50% increase in female infidelity. The cover story in the current issue of Newsweek magazine is all about cheating wives: “The New Infidelity – From Office Affairs to Internet Hook-Ups, More Wives Are Cheating Too.”...
Marriage: What Happened to the Fairy Tale?
“Presently, 40% of all first marriages in this country end in divorce. 60% of all second marriages and 75% of third marriages fail as well.” –Dr. Gary Chapman
Common sense leads us to believe that we should learn from our mistakes and the...
What Destroys a Marriage?
Many marriages and dating relationships fail years before the
loving couples meet. The exposure to a value system that
promotes the acquisition of material possessions has a direct
affect on our development as children. We learn early in life...
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"Extramarital Affair: Should You Get A Divorce Just Because One Of You Had An Extramarital Affair?"
Having to deal with an extramarital affair can be a life-changing event, regardless of whether you stay married or not. Inescapable feelings can come over both people who live through an extramarital affair that will never be forgotten by either of them. The person who actually had the extramarital affair can have feelings of guilt, loneliness, confusion and misdirection along with many other feelings. The 'partner' who did not have the extramarital affair can have these feelings as well, but the lack of confidence that can come as a result of the other person having an extramarital affair can be one of the toughest parts to deal with.
The feelings that come as a result of one or both parties having an extramarital affair are natural but can also be extensions of something much deeper. Of course, if someone has an extramarital affair, both people in that marriage will have feelings that will be "surface level" only at first. Arguments can occur, denial may set in, and/or tempers can flare due to the extramarital affair. While these things are only natural and to be expected, if your going to actually survive an extramarital affair, you must look at the deeper issues and get down to the real cause of the affair and what to do about it.
People in marriages don't often look at having extramarital affairs lightly, and they realize most times what affects their actions will have on their marriage. If someone has an extramarital affair and doesn't think that it will have an affect on their marriage, surely they are either in denial or their definition of marriage leans strongly towards the "open" side. For the rest of the married crowd who don't subscribe to an "open" marriage and who have to deal with an extramarital affair, things can get a bit more complex.
Complexity can be interesting no doubt, but it can also add to the confusion of someone having an extramarital affair, especially if the couple or one party in that couple wants to look deeper at the situation and figure out two very important things:
Extramarital Affair Item 1:
Why did the extramarital affair happen?
Extramarital Affair Item 2:
Does the fact that there was an extramarital affair in the marriage really warrant getting a divorce when both people agree upon the reason that the extramarital affair happened in the
first place?
If the couple really wants to save their marriage in spite of the extramarital affair, then finding out why the extramarital affair happened and agreeing on that reason is the first step in the healing process. If you are currently trying to save your marriage and one of you had an extramarital affair, try to limit your pain that you feel and talk things out with your spouse so you can clearly define and agree upon exactly why the extramarital affair took place.
If you cannot do this, chances are you will never get over the extramarital affair and your marriage most likely won't survive...or at least you won't have a healthy marriage after the extramarital affair.
After you have defined and agreed upon the reason that the extramarital affair took place, you must decide whether that reasons (or reasons) warrant actually going through a painful divorce. At this point you have 2 choices...either decide in your own or decide with your spouse. The latter is optimal for a variety of reasons but the main reason is that you may actually save your marriage if you decide together. Deciding together whether the real reason an extramarital affair took place indicates that you're both really reaching out for something, something you most likely didn't have prior to the extramarital affair...togetherness.
So, should you get a divorce just because one of you had an extramarital affair?
No, not necessarily. Depending on how collaborative you can be with your spouse, how 'detective-like' you can act, and how much soul searching you can do, you may just become stronger together because of an extramarital affair. It may sound odd, but that's the truth.
Of course, it is entirely possible (and probable) that if you both don't define and agree on why the extramarital affair took place and work to address that reason or reasons, your marriage won't ever be healthy again and you'll never be able to healthily survive the extramarital affair.
© Karl Augustine, 2004
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.
Deciding on Divorce
Extramarital Affair
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Marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Marriages are generally publicly declared in the context of a wedding ceremony. ... The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
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Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice |
Provides answers and insight to questions about infidelity, marriage counseling, and divorce. A free support forum is also available. |
www.marriagebuilders.com |
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Christian Marriages - Families Christianity Free Newsletters Sex ... |
A biweekly newsletter, published by Christianity Today, that provides information and articles of interest for couples. |
www.christianitytoday.com |
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Marriage -- THE starting place for exploring marriage |
Useful links, and weekly feature articles on making your marriage the best it can be. Chat room and bulletin board also onsite. From About.com. |
marriage.about.com |
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Marriage - Wex |
Today the underlying concept that marriage is a legal contract still remains ... Entering into a marriage changes the legal status of both parties and gives ... |
www.law.cornell.edu |
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Smart Marriages |
Clearinghouse: The latest EASY-TO-USE information to make your marriage or realtionship successful, sexy, and satisfying. |
www.smartmarriages.com |
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University of the Family - Marriage Ministries International |
Marriage is the foundation of the family. When the relationship is hurting, the family is hurting. Couples seek counseling and counseling and are often ... |
www.marriage.org |
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USC-MSA Compendium of Muslim Texts |
Marriage in Islam has aspects of both 'ibadah (worship) of Allah and mu'amalah ... The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion ... |
www.usc.edu |
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Marriage Records - First Comes Love - Portland, Oregon |
Tonight (Wed Nov 29) Marriage’s own old intern Cole Miller and Glacier Park’s Jessie Slavich are playing at Valentine’s (232 SW Ankeny) downtown at 8pm. ... |
www.marriagerecs.com |
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National Marriage Project Home Page |
Research, education, training and advocacy to strengthen the institution of marriage. |
marriage.rutgers.edu |
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UKBMD - Births, Marriages, Deaths Indexes & Census transcriptions ... |
UK BMD Births, Marriages and Deaths Indexes Online. Baptims, Burials, Monumental Inscriptions, Cemetry, Cemetries, Civil Registration, GRO Indexes, BMD, ... |
www.ukbmd.org.uk |
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Welcome to Worldwide Marriage Encounter Home Page |
Marriage Encounter weekends give married couples the tools to make Good marriages GREAT marriages! Why settle for a ho-hum relationship when you can have a ... |
www.wwme.org |
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Alternatives to Marriage Project |
Provides support and information to people who choose not to marry, are unable to marry, or are making decisions about marriage. |
www.unmarried.org |
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Marriage Equality USA (index.shtml) |
Group solely committed to securing the right to civil marriage for same-sex couples. Related facts, membership information, and chapters. |
www.marriageequality.org |
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President Calls for Constitutional Amendment Protecting Marriage |
President Bush on Tuesday said, "The amendment should fully protect marriage, while leaving the state legislatures free to make their own choices in ... |
www.whitehouse.gov |
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Marriage in Ancient Rome |
Selected information plus a bibliography and internet links. |
www.fortunecity.com |
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Instructions to Obtain a Marriage Certificate Copy |
This page provides instructions for obtaining a certified or uncertified copy of a Wisconsin marriage certificate. |
www.dhfs.state.wi.us |
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Judaism 101: Marriage |
Learn about the Jewish concept of finding your soul mate, Jewish weddings, the process of acquiring a spouse, and the marital relationship. |
www.jewfaq.org |
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the marriage toolbox |
www.marriagetools.com/ - Similar pages |
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American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy |
Professionally developed resources for practitioners and consumers of marriage and family therapy. Site also offers a search engine for finding a qualified ... |
www.aamft.org |
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