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Aromatherapy for the Mind, Body & Spirit - Sandalwood Essential Oil
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The Inner Dialogue
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Building Self-Confidence: How to Initiate a Virtuous Cycle
Copyright © 2005 Jeff Griswold, Effective Learning Systems, Inc.
It's no secret that self-confidence is very important to
achieving success in any area of life. The thing about
self-confidence is that it is very sensitive to our personal
experience and is inherently instable. In other words, your
self-confidence has a "snowball affect." And it can snowball in
a positive direction or it can snowball in a negative direction.
Here's how it works:
How the "Negative Snowball" works
1. If you start out with low self-confidence (see below to
learn more about how this happens), you're less likely to take
on challenges or try new things.
2. On the rare occasion
that you try to accomplish something, your low self-confidence
can sabotage your efforts and you're much less likely to
succeed.
3. Your lack of accomplishment and your failures
reinforce your low self-confidence.
4. Then it's back to
step 1 and the cycle repeats; limiting your ability to live a
better life.
How the "Positive Snowball" works
1. If you have
self-confidence, you're more likely to attempt just about
anything, so you try more things.
2. And when you attempt
something with confidence in your abilities, you're very likely
to succeed.
3. As a result, your success increases your
self-confidence. 4. Return to step 1 and repeat, and repeat, and
repeat until you reach your full potential!
Wearing a Groove in Your Brain
At the risk of
over-simplifying a phenomenally complex process, what's
happening in your brain is that these snowball cycles "wear a
groove" through the vast array of neurons and synapses. So,
neurologically you are physically carving a path of least
resistance through your brain. With enough reinforcement, you
develop a reflex to certain kinds of stimuli.
For example, if a smoker tries to quit smoking and fails - and
he allows a negative snowball cycle to take place - he'll lose
confidence in his ability to quit. And he'll eventually develop
a negative reflex to the idea of quitting. Once that happens, if
anyone suggests that he quit or someone offers a new way to try
to quit, his brain will automatically reject the possibility. In
his brain, the mere suggestion of quitting will trigger an
impulse that will follow that well-worn path of least
resistance; the path that equates "trying to quit" with
"failure."
But this works the other way, too. A positive snowball cycle
will wear a groove that creates a positive reflex. We've all
known people like this. They're the ones who are eager to try
anything and seem to succeed at everything. And in the rare
occasions when they fail, they are undeterred. The positive
reflex they've created in their brain allows them to learn from
their mistakes and equate "failure" with "I'll do even better
next time!"
How Does the Low Self-Confidence Cycle Start?
Unfortunately, virtually everyone has been programmed from
childhood with negatives that make us believe we can't do things
that we are innately capable of doing. A lot of it is
self-imposed programming. If we fail to do something perfectly
the first time we try it, it is only human nature to begin to
believe that we can't do it.
We also receive negative programming from others that can
greatly impact our self-confidence. We are told repeatedly as a
child "You can't do this" or "You'll never be able to do that."
If we accept this programming - which, again, is only human
nature - our self-confidence is weakened accordingly.
Take a moment now to think back on your own life. Think about
the things that you've been led to believe you cannot attain but
that you know intellectually are entirely possible. It could be
anything; a certain level of income; academic achievement; great
athletic performance; success at love, etc. If you're like most
people, it won't take long to come up with a sizable list.
Fortunately, when some people are told they can't do something,
they refuse to accept that programming and go on to prove that
they indeed can. For example; · Beethoven's teacher said he was
hopeless as a composer.
· Thomas Edison's teachers said he
was too stupid to learn anything
· Leo Tolstoy, the author
of War & Peace, was told he couldn't learn
· Albert Einstein
did not speak until he was 4, didn't read until he was 7. His
teacher called him mentally slow.
· One of the early
teachers of the great opera singer Enrico Caruso said he had no
voice at all & could not sing.
There are many other examples, but the point is that each and
every one of us has given up on at least one thing because we
lacked the confidence to try! And the world has undoubtedly been
robbed of the great contributions of countless gifted people
because of such negativity.
How to Build Your Self-Confidence
The good news is
that a negative self-confidence cycle is completely reversible!
You can learn how to eliminate existing negative thought
reflexes and replace them with positive thought reflexes. By
mastering a few easy techniques you'll be able to recognize and
reject negative programming before you allow it to begin to
erode your confidence.
There are dozens of techniques to help you build your
self-confidence and self-esteem. These include:
· Positive
Affirmations
· Guided Visualization
· Mental Imagery
· Goal-Oriented Meditation
· Breathing Techniques
·
Subliminal Programming
· Whole-Brain Learning
Here's one simple technique you can start using today that
will
help you initiate a virtuous cycle of improved self-confidence.
Using Positive Affirmations to Build Self-Confidence
Positive Affirmations are carefully-worded positive statements
that you repeat to yourself and are designed to establish new
thinking patterns in your mind. Using affirmations is a very
effective way to build self-confidence. It seems simple - and
initially it can actually be a little uncomfortable - but
remember, what you're trying to do is to wear a new groove in
your brain. You're trying to create a new path of least
resistance and establish a positive reflex in your mind. And the
best way to create a new reflex is through repetition of
positive thoughts, images and feelings.
At the end of this article, I've included a small handful of
powerful affirmations for you to begin using today. The way to
use affirmations is to repeat the statements to yourself (out
loud or silently). When you repeat an affirmation, feel it,
believe it, and know it! Put some positive emotion into it.
Emotion-backed programming is the most powerful and long
lasting. Allow yourself to experience the feelings of joy,
satisfaction, power and self-confidence as you do each
affirmation. Make each one a true part of your reality.
Use your favorite affirmations routinely throughout the day, and
really feel them. When you do you will eventually make a quantum
leap. You will suddenly be far beyond the doubts that accompany
wishing, hoping, daydreaming, and even believing. You will enter
the zone of knowing.
When you enter the zone of knowing, supreme self-confidence is
automatically there. All doubt is gone. You know you can do it.
You know it will happen, just as surely as if it had already
happened. And quite likely at some dimension it has happened -
for you! When you enter the zone of knowing, your
self-confidence is unshakable and your untapped potential is
released. You feel invincible!
Another great way to use affirmations is to say them while
looking in a mirror. Say them with feeling and soon you'll
become aware of how powerful your eyes are. It's said that the
eyes are the windows of the soul. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that
each of us carries in our eyes the exact indication of our rank.
We send messages with our eyes that show how we think of
ourselves and how self-confident we are. And that influences how
others respond to us. The more our eyes bespeak self-confidence
and self-esteem, the more other people are likely to hold us in
high esteem. Some people have developed a penetrating gaze that
makes it seem as if they can look into your very soul. As you
practice your affirmations in the mirror, you'll see this in
your own eyes and soon others will feel the confidence that you
project.
Sample Affirmations
· I now free myself from false
limits
· I choose to be self-confident
· I now feel
self-confident
· I radiate self-confidence
· I reject
negativity at all levels of consciousness
· I love turning
negatives into positives
· The more positive I am, the more
confident I am
· I now think as a positive person
· I
breath as a positive person
· I feel positive and
confident
· I am intelligent
· I am capable
· I
speak with self-confidence
· My body language projects
self-confidence
· People sense my self-confidence, which
gives them confidence in me
· I am positive and
confident
· I'm becoming aware of my true potential
· I
enjoy being positive
· Being positive builds my
self-confidence
· I feel positive and confident
· I am
positive and confident
Start Today
There are many other powerful techniques
that you can use to improve your self-confidence and build your
self-esteem. But this will get you started in the right
direction.
The most important thing to remember is that repetition and
positive emotions are critical to changing the way you think.
While it's possible to do this on your own, most people need a
defined program for the direction and support they need to
commit to a change.
Many people find that listening to audio programs (like those
available at http://www.efflearn.com) is the best way to provide
the consistency that's needed to develop new, healthy, positive
thought habits. In addition to Positive Affirmations, the best
audio programs will incorporate a variety of techniques
including guided visualizations, mental imagery, goal-oriented
meditation, subliminal programming, whole-brain learning, and
more.
So, employ whatever resources you need to commit to improving
your self-confidence. Whether it's an audio program or help from
your friends, family or therapist - your self-confidence is too
important to allow it to wither away. Be confident that you can
improve your confidence and it will change your life.
"The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn"
To request a
free copy of "The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn," a 24-page
report showing you how you can harness the unlimited power
within yourself to achieve your full potential, go to:
http://www.efflearn
.com/best-thing.php
About the author:
Jeff Griswold is the President of Effective Learning Systems,
Inc. http://www.efflearn
.com/selfesteem.php, the leading creator of audio CDs and
tapes for helping you build self-esteem and self-confidence.
Jeff can be reached at griswold@efflearn.com or
952-943-1660.
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