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Can You Buy Happiness?
Can money buy happiness? It's easy to say no, and probably correct, but that's just a way to stop thinking about the tougher issues. What is your relationship to money, for example, and how do you use this most powerful of worldly tools? Maybe...
“Discover your passion”.
What are you passionate about? We didn’t ask if you are passionate. But what are you passionate about? What stirs your emotions? What is it you can’t stop talking about whenever someone asks: “What are you passionate about?” What’s the fire in your...
Positive Self Talk - Try It Today
How do you explain things to yourself? With positive self talk or negative? What we say to ourselves radically affects the quality of our lives, and our ability to do things effectively. How useful is it to always tell yourself "impossible," "more...
Stop the Noise and Smell the Roses
Excerpted from the book: The Goddess of Happiness, A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss by Debbie Gisonni
Do you remember those lazy summer vacation mornings
when you were a kid? I used to stay in bed after waking up and...
The Playful Spirit
On the road to enlightenment, don’t forget to laugh…….
It’s been called the “ id” by Freud, and hedonism by zealots. In truth, the animal self is the part of us that reacts naturally. Labeling this limits our experience of it. Still for the...
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Seven Sure-Fire Steps from Resolutions to Results
What would January be without personal commitments for change?
It's a chance for a fresh start! With the promise of a new year
before us, we believe that anything is possible.
Yet, all too often February can bring a familiar refrain of
resolutions not kept and promises broken.
What can you do this year to change this pattern and ensure your
resolutions have staying power?
Here's my list of 7 Sure-Fire Steps to take you from Resolutions
to the Results you desire... 1. You've Got to Want to 2. See the
Outcome as Real 3. Break it Down 4. Put Some Skin in the Game 5.
Create Accountability 6. Have a Cheering Section 7. If You Fall
Off. ... Get Back On
Let's have a closer look at each step.
1. You've Got to Want to
Resolutions that are going to take hold and bring you the
results you are seeking need to be those that are truly
important to you. Choosing a resolution because it's something
you think you "should do" or because someone else told you it
was a great idea, has a minimal likelihood of lasting success.
This is the most critical step on which to spend some solid
reflection time. Resolutions that bring results are those that
touch a personal core value. In my coaching practice, I have
seen that the people who are most likely to achieve lasting
results are those that identify a "hook" for their resolution
that is highly meaningful to them and spurs them on. It makes
them truly hunger for the outcome.
For example, as entrepreneur and mother of a 5 and 7 year-old,
it's a lot easier for me to set aside exercise time in my busy
day when I see that by putting myself first for one hour a day,
I am able to be more fully present with my family and not resent
my various responsibilities. For my children, I am also
modelling the importance of putting a priority on health and
self-respect.
In reframing my exercise time from being a self-focused
indulgence to being an initiative that reinforces my family
values, I am much more likely to stick to a regular program. It
gives me a hook.
So, before you move onto Step #2 take some quiet time and have a
hard look at your list. Which of your resolutions are genuinely
YOURS, that you care deeply about and are committed to? What's
great about this change? Toss out the resolutions that feel like
a burden from the get-go. None of us needs fodder to reprimand
ourselves for what we didn't accomplish come February.
2. See the Outcome as Real
As with many self-improvement strategies, visualization is a
powerful way to help pull you toward your desired future. With
resolutions, having a crystal clear image of what it will be
like when your resolution has delivered results, is a key next
step.
Since many resolutions are about goals for positive personal
change, looking ahead to the outcome can take you out of a
not-so-great present into the alluring future. If we are talking
about weight loss, for example, rather than focusing on how you
feel about yourself right now with the extra weight you are
carrying, focus on the fantastic feeling you will have when you
are carrying 10 to 20 less pounds (or whatever your goal might
be). Picture yourself at this desired weight... perhaps in a new
outfit, enjoying an energetic activity and feeling confident.
The clearer you can be with your visualization, the stronger the
impact of this step.
Try making your outcome real by writing it down, mind-mapping or
sketching it out. Your resolution and desired outcome will then
stare back at you and challenge you to bring it to life.
If you meditate, you might incorporate visualizing or
experiencing the successful outcome into your meditation. My
husband, for example, draws on all of his senses, and
incorporates smells, tastes, sounds, images and touch, when
focusing on future achievement of a goal.
3. Break it Down
Many resolutions involve significant behavioural change. This
mountain of desired change can seem so large that it appears
almost impossible to scale, which discourages many people from
getting any traction. I've noticed that when people break their
resolutions down into manageable pieces, and then literally put
one foot in front of the other... they tend to have more
long-term success.
What are the achievable steps for you? Over what time-frame?
To return to the weight loss example... rather than focusing on
a goal of 20 pounds, breaking your target into 2 pounds a week
for 10 weeks is a much more achievable way of ensuring you will
reach your goal.
As another example, how could you break-down your resolution to
"get organized" into bite-sized pieces? One of my clients
decided to start by focusing on better management of her email.
She learned how to set-up folders to stream her incoming emails
and to use flags for follow-up items. The result? She was able
to reduce her inbox from a regular level of over 500 emails to
less than 30.
4. Put Some Skin in the
Game
In creating New Year's resolutions, many of us list several
things that we want to change. Yet, even though we have a desire
to achieve all of these things, if we don't commit any energy or
resources against them, they simply don't come to fruition.
There's something about the power of investing in the change
that gets many people over their initial inertia and sets them
up to create a return on their investment.
As a Coach, I've observed that people who are willing to commit
financial resources to making change happen, for example, are
more willing to dig in and do the work necessary to bring about
their desired change. When they commit to invest in themselves,
they practically guarantee that they will deliver the outcome.
A few years ago when I hired my own coach, she helped me through
the initial investment by asking me how many clients I would
need to attract to make the investment worthwhile and grow my
business. Of course, it was then in my interest to make darn
sure that I did attract this many clients and more.
Financial investment isn't the only way to put "skin in the
game". For many people there is nothing more precious than time.
When you deliberately carve out time in your calendar and book
appointments related to your resolution, all the while choosing
to make trade-offs, you are making an investment in the change.
For example, people who want to become more organized who
actually build organizing time into their day are choosing to
make this resolution a priority.
5. Create Accountability
This is an important step for "getting real". It's one thing to
have a private list of resolutions that we don't share with
anyone else. This way, no one needs to know if we don't follow
through. For many of us, it is easier to let ourselves down than
someone else whose respect is important to us.
Research shows that when you declare your intention aloud to at
least one other person, you are twice as likely to
follow-through. Furthermore, studies show that when you declare
your intention to accomplish something at work to your boss,
specifically, you are seven times more likely to create this
result. Powerful!
Have a look at each of your resolutions and determine who would
be your optimal accountability partner?
Personal * Spouse/Significant Other? * Family Member? *
Friend? * Life Coach? * Nutritionist? * Personal
Trainer?
Professional * Boss? * Mentor? * Business or Leadership Coach? *
Client? * Business Partner? * Peer? For others, writing it
down might be all it takes to create accountability. For some
highly results-focused entrepreneurs I know, as soon as they
commit themselves to a written plan, particularly one with
measurable outcomes, this document creates accountability for
them.
How do you best create accountability for personal changes? Look
at changes that have been successful for you in the past to
discover your own formula for success.
6. Have a Cheering Section
We all need supporters to cheer us on. People who best encourage
us may be very different from those with whom you create
accountability. These are the people who pick you up when you
are discouraged. They remind you of how great you are. They
remind you of what you've done well already. A cheering section
includes people in your life who simply say..."I'm here for you
and I believe in you."
For some people, a highly successful strategy is to leverage the
power of groups to help with follow-through on resolutions.
Finding a group of people who are committed to a similar
resolution can be a great way of having a ready-made cheering
section.
7. If You Fall Off... Get Back On
It's my experience that change that lasts over the longer-term
rarely takes place in one step. It's often a dance of three
steps forward and one back. I think of long-term change as
happening in upward spiral over time. We are climbing ever
higher; yet, we are not moving in a purely linear
one-dimensional direction.
As children, when we learn to walk, we rarely walk from the
first step. We try a couple steps, fall down, dust ourselves off
and try again. Eventually our deliberate, awkward movements
become more fluid and unconscious. And so it goes with
resolutions for behavioural change.
When we falter, it's a great opportunity to recalibrate our
approach and look at what's working and what's not. Then, when
we get back up, we are more sure-footed and we make more
progress. After all, this is what growth is all about.
Have a great New Year!
About the author:
Susan Edwards, Associate Certified Coach (ACC), is President of
Development by Design, a Business & Leadership Coaching and
Human Resources Consulting firm. She has been interviewed on
CTV's Canada AM, Canada's most-watched morning program, and
profiled in West of the City magazine." To learn more, visit
http://www.development-by-design.com
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