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Cut the Costs of Your New Baby... Devour Those Yard Sales!
Baby products are a huge market. However, these products are soon disposed of after being used. Why not save some money and get your baby products at huge discounts among your local yard sales. Get some friends together and check out your local...
Develop Your Child's Self Confidence
Let your child do as many things by himself or herself. Young children need to be watched closely. However, they learn to be independent and to develop confidence by doing tasks such as dressing themselves and putting their toys away. It's...
How to While Away a Winter Sunday Afternoon with the Kids & Teach a Little EQ at the Same Time
1. Take care of the birds.
First spend some time learning about birds. Check out the bird photo library ( http://birding.about.com/library/weekly/aa020100a.htm ). Download free kids kit "Learn about Backyard Birds" (...
MORAL ARMOR'S Irrational Parenting, Part I
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, “Probably because of something you did.”"—Jack Handey
My view on parenting holds...
Valentine Moments With Your Children
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated. Title -Valentine...
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Behavioral Strategy: Avoid the Grey Areas and Deal Only with Black & White
Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!
Are you often a participant in an unraveling parent-child interaction? Well you’re not alone. Interactions between parents and their children often transgress before our eyes.
All children's first years should be filled with verbal stimulation to build language and literacy skills. Each day should be full of discovery and offer opportunities to gain new skills and learn new concepts. Talking to your children openly and honestly and encouraging verbal interaction is a critical component of healthy and successful development. Sometimes, though, a parent-child interaction spins quickly out of control and leaves the parent wondering "What happened? I thought I had this under control?"
All too often the origin of the conflict is established by the use of one simple word: "Maybe." This one uncomplicated morsel of verbiage has the power to evoke quite a forceful reaction at times. “Why?” you may question. The answer is as absolute as your response should be to your child: You just don't use the "maybe" word.
Raising a child is probably the most gratifying job any of us will ever have -- and one of the toughest. We live in an increasingly complex world that challenges us every day with a wide range of issues that are difficult for children to understand and for adults to explain. The issues are biggies: terrorism, war, AIDs, sex, death, and a host of other sensitive topics that just didn’t exist when we were growing up.
It's not always easy to talk to your kids—but
it's always important. Consider this: if we don't talk with them -- and answer their questions -- they'll get their facts from someone else. And we'll have missed an important parenting opportunity.
When responding to questions posed by your child, whether it’s a question about the tough issues or a question about attending a sleep over or eating a cookie before dinner, clarity is the name of the game. If a child asks a question, the very least we can do is answer it, and answer it precisely. The amount of uncertainty produced by "maybe" is very often the catalyst for the conflict.
Here are some essentials to assist you in becoming more accomplished in talking to your child:
- Always respond to your child
- Strive to understand your own feelings regarding their request or question
- Reply with a definite yes or no
- Clarify your reasoning
- Offer them the methods and/or means to achieve their request
- Be conscious of their reaction(s), anxiety usually precedes the outburst
Remember: We all, young and not so young alike, find relief in knowing where we stand.
About the Author
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California.
Dr. Sophy is the author of the “Keep ‘Em Off My Couch” blog and provides real simple answers for solving life’s biggest problems. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.
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