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Helping Your Child Develop
Here are some things that you can do to help your child develop Show your child that you care about him and that you are dependable. Children who feel loved are more likely to be confident. Your child must believe that, no matter what, someone...
Parenting Rules for Permissive Parents: Use These with Caution
I remember a childless couple who slept with their dogs. They were clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Yet every night their dogs crawled into bed with them.
During the day the two black labs ran through the house, climbed on the...
Reshape The Family Diet -- Avoid Dinnertime Trouble/Cyndi Thomas, ND
Reshape The Family Diet -- Avoid Dinnertime Trouble by Cyndi Thomas, ND When I announced that my family needed to change its diet somewhat... well, to say my children weren't as excited as me would be an understatement. More than once they...
Scorpio's Child
Scorpios get a lot of bad press. They're vindictive, mean, and obsessed with sex. That's not really fair. Scorpio rules the house of sharing. They are the stewards of sharing money, resources, love, and yes sharing each other's bodies. It is...
Ten Ways to Save Your Sanity During the Holidays
1. Set limits for yourself.
If you feel overwhelmed with shopping, cooking and visiting relatives don't add more to your plate. Take 10-15 minute breaks to take e a walk, meditate, read, pray or just sit still. Don't let anyone guilt you into...
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Breastfeeding - Handling Criticism
Feelings about how to parent seem to shift with every generation. A new way of parenting, sometimes called attachment parenting, has emerged and it challenges many of the rigid teachings of our mother's generation. Although breastfeeding is on the rise now, women are still dealing with the repercussions of previous generations. Not too long ago mainstream women did not breastfeed at all and the ones that did were taught to follow strict schedules. Some thought of breastfeeding as primitive. Formula was touted as being equal to or superior to breast milk. Only recently, has the fact that "breast is best" been acknowledged. Other women were in the workforce. They may have felt that breastfeeding was not an option for them. They did not have the modern breast pump available to them. The medical community may not have encouraged breastfeeding at the time. It is not hard to imagine. After all, even with all the knowledge about the benefits of breastfeeding there are still many health professionals today that are uneducated and unsupportive of breastfeeding. With all the challenges in the way of breastfeeding, it is understandable why many women of yesterday did not choose to breastfeed.
Breastfeeding has come a long way but still many of the old thinking still carries on. Women are more educated on the subject; however, even with the many books and other information available, people are often most influenced by their immediate family and friends. Having the support of friends and family can boost the chances of having a successful breastfeeding experience. On the other hand, having to deal with criticism and misinformation from the people you are close to can sabotage a new mom trying to breastfeed.
There are many ways to deal with the negativity of others. One of the best things you can do is to try to understand why the person feels the way they do. Is it because they were taught differently about breastfeeding? Were they indoctrinated with the ideas that breastfeeding is primitive or inferior? Or is it that they feel breasts are a sexual object? Maybe they have never seen someone breastfeed and it makes them uncomfortable. This is the case with a lot of people. Once breastfeeding in public becomes more commonplace, perhaps, this will become less of a problem. Whatever the case, finding out the root of the person's issues with breastfeeding may help to
resolve the tension.
Here are some things you can do to deal with criticism.
Be positive: It is hard for someone to argue with a happy, positive person. If you are excited and enthusiastic about breastfeeding it can be contagious
Try to educate them: Find information on the benefits of breastfeeding to mom and baby and share this with them. You don't have to "push this down their throat". Just be enthusiastic about your decision to breastfeed and share with them why you decided to.
Be sympathetic: A lot of times women are defensive because breastfeeding did not work out for them. If you sit and talk with any woman that really wanted to breastfeed, you can hear the sadness in her story. Try to be sympathetic and non-judgmental. Don't say things like "you could have or should have". Share your experience, be positive, and let them know you care.
Try not to get angry: Breastfeeding conversations can get very heated. Getting angry with someone is not likely to change her feelings. It will just make you and her upset. If you don't feel like you can talk about breastfeeding with this person change the subject or avoid talking about it.
Use your doctor as your advocate: Sometimes the best thing you can do is tell someone that this is what your doctor recommends. What you think means very little to some people but a doctor's word carries weight.
Don't be sarcastic or insulting: Belittling someone is likely to make someone defensive. It is not a good approach to winning someone over. You may turn an opportunity to educate someone into a personal attack.
Stand your ground: Do not let someone else decide how you are going to parent. If they are uncomfortable then they will have to come to terms with it. You do not have to change the way you parent to suit someone else.
If nothing is working then you may just let the person know that you do not want to discuss the issue with them any more. Hopefully, it doesn't come to this.
Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also co-owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is a community for mommies to make friends and find support. Please visit Justmommies at http://www.justmommies.com.
email@justmommies.com
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