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Grace-full Parenting – Committing to Nurturing the Souls of our Children
Grace-full Parenting – Committing to Nurturing the Souls of our Children Author Interview with Thomas B. Haller, M.Div., MSW, DST, The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose By Lisa M. Hendey Prior to the birth of our children, mothers frequently...
Mommy & Baby: More Parenting Tidbits
Diapers: as a rule, most PDF babies will need a diaper change that corresponds with their feeding times. This will total 6-8 diapers per day, or more if you manage to change your baby prior to her pooping. Most new parents learn to "time" the diaper...
Parents, Teach Thought-Stopping! Fix Crooked Thinking Caps
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe, groan, and grumble? Do you worry about your child’s attitude? If so, maybe your child’s thinking cap is crooked. If it is, you can help. First, understand what’s going haywire under that cap....
Passion's Search for Destiny
She was haunted by a man whom she had never met. He came to her in her dreams. It was not just a reoccurring dream about some random Prince Charming archetype. This guy had flaws, he was just as mixed up and lost as she was. She would wake up...
Who will be their Guardian?
If you are like most people today, you do not have a will. The reasons for this failure are many, with the most common being along the lines of “I don’t have enough assets to worry about”, “I don’t know how to write a will”, or “Lawyers charge a...
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How To Live With Your Teenager's Untidy Room
'Whose room is it anyway?'
If you have a teenager, you're no doubt already familiar with the warcry of independence:
'It's my room and I should be allowed to do as I
please.
You hear the aggrieved voice, but for the life of you, you
can't see beyond- the unmade bed
- the piles of discarded clothing
- the litter of books
- magazines
- scattered CD covers
- pizza boxes
- and soft drinks cans.
Your spirits plummet as you prepare to join battle yet
again.
But let's stop for a moment and take stock. Do we really
need to create a fuss?
We all know adolescence is a time of change. The desire for
independence is strong - yet the adolescent is still very
dependent, especially where finance is concerned.
There's a subconscious need for rebellion during this phase:
our children feel a need to kick against the goad; to throw
off the shackles of childhood; to explore and develop this
strange, often threatening personality.
That's why at around the age of thirteen our kids
'disappear' from the family circle and spend much of their
time in their rooms.
It's like taking to the hills, a way of retreating from
the old folks and their 'naff' conversations, values and
ideals.
The Untidy Room Syndrome states loudly and clearly,
'I want to do things MY WAY, not yours!'
So the music blares, the scraps of food fester- as
would the unwashed clothes, if you let them!
Only a privileged few receive an invite to the inner
sanctum. The rest make do with: 'Get out of my room!'
MY room?
We parents provide every home comfort. We pay the mortgage.
We pay the bills. We do the laundering. Yet we're told,
'Get out of MY room'!
Let's laugh it off! (While insisting on common courtesy, of
course).
Growing kids need their space, a safe haven where they can
'chill out'.
So what about the mess?
What stance should we take on that?
Well, let's
remember the mess is part of the rebellion. We
keep the rest of the home tidy, don't we?
Then turn a blind eye (with one exception, which we'll come
to in a moment).
Yes, turn a blind eye! If they want to scatter their CDs
and magazines and clothes in glorious chaos, let them.
They're in a controlled, safe environment, after all - the
family home. They're not trashing the town, like so many
others.
No, let them get the rebellion out of their systems.
Good news: it will only last a few years.
And hard experience will teach them the lessons they need to
learn.
'OOps! My CD's don't play so well when they're scratched
and dusty.'
'I'm fed up looking for things and not finding them. There
has to be a better way!'
Let's encourage our kids to keep a tidy room
- but leave the details to them.
So what about that exception?
Lay down the law - with a sledge hammer if necessary! - when
it comes to matters of health and hygiene.
If you do the laundering and your kids expect clean
clothes, then insist they pick up the items to be
washed and put them in the laundry basket.
If they leave scraps of food and half-drunk cups of coffee,
insist they clear them away. Explain why you're taking this
line. There's no convincing objection they can raise!
Insist they make a clearance for whoever does the vacuuming
and dusting.
Apart from that, take a step back. If they can happily live
in the chaos, you can happily leave them to it.
Relax. Bide your time. The fires of rebellious youth will
splutter and fizzle, and it will all come right in the
end.
Happy Parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others
fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and
teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and
encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web
pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
AND
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html
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| Comprehensive website for Indian parents with topics ranging from pregnancy to raising children, including articles on infertility, health and medicine, ... |
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| Parenting: information, advice and support from toddler to teenage |
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| Parenting Teens - Troubled Teen Help Information. |
| Information for parents of teens, including troubled teens, parenting tips, teen education, and more. |
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