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Parenting---Roots and Wings
I’m sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark card adage that goes something like this: Parents give their children two great gifts---one is roots, the other is wings. This is what I address in this article. As parents, we pray for our...
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Signs Of Teething Baby
If you are wondering if your baby is teething here are a few surefire signs that your little one is about to get his first set of choppers: ·Increased fussiness. ·Nighttime crying. ·“Clingy" behavior. ·Excessive dribbling (drooling). ·Chewing on...
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My oldest boy asked me something the other day about all the news regarding the high divorce rate. I told him there aren't too many divorces, there's too many marriages. Most people get married without really knowing who they are marrying or...
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Parenting Advice: When Your Kids Fight
Researchers tell us that 36 million acts of sibling rivalry occur every year. Some are severe. Most are normal. When your kids fight, they want you in the middle. They want you to be the judge and jury. They each want you to take their side. I remember my own mother's reaction.
When I was a kid, my brother, Art, and I fought constantly. We kicked, we teased, we shoved, we called each other names, and we rolled over and over on the ground punching each other as hard as we could. My mother said, "I was sure you two would kill each other."
Many fights started in our backyard. In my excitement to win the fights, my yelling grew so loud that the whole neighborhood knew we were slugging it out again. My, mother, a rather shy person, would throw up a back room window and yell, "For God's sake Jeanie, shut up!" The whole neighborhood heard her too. Her shouts embarrassed me and hurt my feelings but they didn't stop me. My brother and I fought like that almost every day. And almost everyday mom would shout the same command.
Looking back, I can't remember what Art and I fought about. I can remember my mother's words. How about you?
When your kids fight, and you step in the middle,
what will your kids remember?
Your yelling?
Your swearing?
Your hitting?
Your lecturing?
Your
letting them duke it out?
Knowing what to do in the heat of the moment isn't easy. What is easy, is letting your own anger explode. If you do, what are you really teaching your kids?
Parenting Tips and Advice:
Talk the situation over with your partner or someone you trust.
Come up with a logical plan for handling future fights.
Tell your kids (when they're not fighting) what will happen the next time they fight.
Determine to respond with your reason and not your emotion.
Follow through with the plan.
If you react to your kid's fighting the way my mother did, you can change.
Ask yourself these three questions:
What will my kids remember about my reactions?
What am I really teaching them?
What do I want to teach them?
Here's to your parenting success!
About the Author
Jean Tracy, MSS, Edmonds, WA,
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