|
|
|
It's OK for your child to be bored. In fact, it's recommended!
NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier, creative kids who are better problem solvers. When children use their own creativity with unstructured play, they find ways to amuse themselves -- even if it means simply daydreaming.
...
John Wayne vs the Petticoat Approach to Parenting
Different parenting styles lead to a new invention that combine the best of both.
My husband and I have different views on parenting. He likes to recount a scene from an old John Wayne movie, "Hondo", where a young boy doesn't know how...
Parenting Just Right - The Number One Secret
Our number one secret is a simple formula that will help you parent Just Right. You'll be in control of your emotions, proud of your behavior, and pleased with your child's reactions. Let's find out how.
I remember a young father who took his...
Parenting Strategy, One of the Worst Ever!
Some parents rush to serve every squeak and squawk from their kids. "I can't let my child feel pain!" said one dad. Parents, if you are giving way too much, find out why your parenting strategy may be one of the worst strategies ever.
I...
Who will be their Guardian?
If you are like most people today, you do not have a will. The reasons for this failure are many, with the most common being along the lines of “I don’t have enough assets to worry about”, “I don’t know how to write a will”, or “Lawyers charge a...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Parenting Manual
Just when we seem to have parenting techniques that work with the first child we discover that they don’t work with the next. Wouldn’t it be great if children were born with instructions? When you understand your children’s perceptual styles, you’ll discover they really are born with an “instruction manual.”
Each of us is a unique combination of the Four Perceptions: Audio, Feeler, Visual, and Wholistic. When children are born, they are 100 percent Feelers. Although they will continue to have sensitive feelings during their formative years, their primary Perception will begin to reveal itself when they’re about six months old.
The following is an excerpt of a story that reveals how differently the child behaves based on his primary perceptual style.
The principal desire for AUDIO Children is to maintain personal control and a sense of fairness.
I was sitting in the allergist’s office when a woman entered with her four-year-old, Aaron, and his cousins, Carrie, 13, and Curt, 11. Immediately Aaron started acting silly. His mother told him to sit down and behave. “No!” he shouted and giggled.
He picked up magazines and threw them on the floor. “Pick them up and put them back,” his mother demanded. Aaron hurled them on the table and then noisily started rolling and kicking on the floor.
His mother glared. “Get up and sit down right now!” His seat barely touched the cushion before he was back on the floor again.
His mother said in a firm voice, “When we get home, we’re having a cookout and then we’re going swimming. If you don’t behave, you will eat in your room and stay there for the rest of the night. The choice is yours.”
The change in Aaron was instantaneous. “I’ll be good.”
Aaron’s actions were motivated by his desire to maintain personal control. He wanted to show off to his cousins. When his control of the situation was threatened, his emotions drove his reactions and he became defiant.
When Aaron’s mother gave him a choice, it allowed him to maintain personal control and he sensed the fairness.
The principal desire for FEELER Children is to please you or not make you angry.
For Feelers, their feelings drive both their actions and reactions. Here is a summary of the same scenario about Aaron, only this time he’s a Feeler.
Aaron was excited because his cousins were visiting. He started spinning around with his arms outstretched. Suddenly he lost his balance and crashed into the corner of the end table. “That’s enough!” his mother snapped. “Come over here and sit down right now.”
With his eyes lowered and shoulders hunched, he crept over to the chair in the corner. He drew up his knees and rested his head on his knees. Soon he quietly raised his head to wipe away a tear. Then he slid off his chair and pulled his shorts down to reveal the bruise to his mother while tears flowed and he whimpered, “I hurt myself.”
“I’m sure it hurts, but it will get better,” she said matter-of-factly.
Aaron threw his arms around his mother and said he was sorry. “It’s okay,” she said and smiled. Aaron glowed. All was right with his world. His mother wasn’t mad at him. With a happy smile, he said, “I love you.”
The principal desire for Visual Children is for everything to be perfect, just as they visualized it.
Visual
children are usually obedient, unless they have to deal with an unexpected change. Then they might resist. Let’s revisit Aaron as a Visual child.
Aaron was excited because his cousins were visiting. “Let’s play!” he thought. He leaned against his cousin, Curt, and started pushing on his knees. Curt playfully pushed back Aaron’s shoulders.
Aaron pushed harder. Curt returned the shove a little too hard and Aaron suddenly plopped on the floor. He giggled loudly and started pushing his cousin’s legs with his feet.
“Stop that,” Curt demanded. Aaron pushed again. This was fun!
“Aaron,” his mother said sternly, “get up and sit down next to me.”
Aaron climbed on to the chair. While he looked down at the floor, humiliation engulfed him. What must his cousins think of him?
When his mother’s name was called, she got up to leave. Aaron quickly slid out of his chair and tearfully ran toward her. She turned and said, “You can stay and Carrie can read to you.”
“But we always go together!” Aaron wailed. His mother stretched out her hand and he gratefully took it. She realized he wanted to do what they usually do, get their shots together. Visuals like routine because they can visualize what comes next.
The principal desire for Wholistic Children is to be treated like an adult.
Since Wholistic children see themselves as adults, usually they are well behaved unless they’re tired, bored or resentful. How different is Aaron’s story as a Wholistic.
Aaron ran over to the chairs and asked Curt to sit on one side of him and Carrie on the other. Aaron pointed out the children’s books. “I know all of them,” he boasted. “Would you like one?” Carrie nodded.
Carrie started reading but it was going too slowly for Aaron. “I’ll read,” he said. He took the book and started telling the story. He quickly zipped through all the books.
As the minutes ticked by, boredom struck. He crawled under Carrie’s chair. “I’m in my cave and if you get too close, I’ll eat you,” he squealed delightedly. He tickled the back of Carrie’s legs. She let out a yell and stood up. Aaron laughed uproariously.
He pushed his head against the back of Curt’s legs. “If you don’t open the door right now, I’ll bite you!” Curt parted his legs and Aaron squirmed through. The game was over.
Restlessness swept over Aaron again. He heard thunder and perked up. “Can I go see the storm?”
Carrie volunteered to take him. He instantly went from looking completely wilted to gleefully running to the door.
Soon he burst into the room. “Mommy, you should see the rainbow. Hurry before it goes away!” Ah, the wonderful, exciting world of new things to explore and investigate. And he was standing tall as his mother placed her arm around his shoulders.
When you recognize how each perceptual style influences actions and reactions, this insight helps you accept your children as they are instead of comparing them to other children. All children respond to love and acceptance.
About the author:
Carol Welsh, M.S. is the author of “Stop When You See Red.” She has over 25 years of experience as a speaker and is a frequent guest on talk shows. Her Web site is www.stopred.com
|
|
|
|
|
| Pregnancy | Baby | Child | Mom | Advice Tips & Resources for ... |
| Parenting magazine has everything you need to raise a happy, healthy family. Get expert advice on child development, the best in baby names, our pregnancy ... |
| www.parenting.com |
|
| Pregnancy & Parenting: For Today's Mom - iVillage |
| From trying to conceive through your child's teen years, iVillage Pregnancy & Parenting offers up-to-date and informative articles, features, expert advice ... |
| parenting.ivillage.com |
|
| Parenting.org – Help and guidance for parents! |
| Answers questions about parenting and has resources for better parenting. |
| www.parenting.org |
|
| Parents |
| Expert advice about pregnancy, your kids, your life, and family time from the editors of Parents magazine. |
| www.parents.com |
|
| BBC - Parenting |
| Practical solutions to help with the challenges of everyday parenting - including expert advice as well as tips from other mums and dads. |
| www.bbc.co.uk |
|
| Parenting, Pregnancy,Conception, Babynames - Parenthood.com |
| Information regarding parenthood and parenting. Find the meanings of Baby names and useful articles on parenting. |
| www.parenthood.com |
|
| Parenting advice, child development and family reference at ... |
| FamilyEducation.com provides parents with educational printables, games, activities, parenting ideas, tips, family advice, and information on learning ... |
| www.familyeducation.com |
|
| MedlinePlus: Parenting |
| From the National Institutes of Health; Adventures in Parenting (National Institute of Child Health and Human Development) ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
|
| The National Parenting Center |
| Support site for parenting. Dedicated to providing parents with comprehensive and responsible guidance from the world's most renowned child-rearing ... |
| www.tnpc.com |
|
| About - Parenting & Family |
| Parenting advice from moms and dads who know what's up. Whether your babies are still actual infants, or about to enter college, our Guides will give you ... |
| about.com |
|
| Positive Parenting - Main Menu |
| Debbie Critzer Positive Parenting is dedicated to providing resources and info rmation ... Welcome to Positive Parenting online! For our long-time readers, ... |
| www.positiveparenting.com |
|
| Parenting Tips and Information on Baby Care and Pregnancy. |
| This parenting and baby care resource center offers essential pregnancy, baby care and development information, tips, and articles. |
| www.parenttime.com |
|
| Parenting, Children's Health and Education, Family Crafts and ... |
| Parenting, Children, and Families - ParentCenter is the most trusted online resource for parents of young kids. ParentCenter offers free weekly newsletters, ... |
| parentcenter.babycenter.com |
|
| Parenting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| The term "child training" implies a specific type of parenting that focuses on ... Parenting measures can also be observational, such as the Parent-Child ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Today's Parent |
| At Todaysparent.com you'll find a parenting community to call your own, with a library of information on all the ages and stages of your growing family, ... |
| www.todaysparent.com |
|
| Indian Parenting - The Definitive Guide |
| Comprehensive website for Indian parents with topics ranging from pregnancy to raising children, including articles on infertility, health and medicine, ... |
| www.indiaparenting.com |
|
| Exceptional Parent Magazine - Eparent.com - parenting those with ... |
| Magazine for parents of children or young adults with disabilities. Includes reports, forum, products links, books. |
| www.eparent.com |
|
| Parenting: information, advice and support from toddler to teenage |
| Parenting advice, information and support to help you with your family, from toddler to teens. |
| www.ivillage.co.uk |
|
| Parenting-QA.com - Parenting Questions and Answers For Parents in ... |
| All parents have questions about their children’s behavior, growth, and development. The challenges of parenting seem never-ending and constantly evolving. |
| www.parenting-qa.com |
|
| Parenting Teens - Troubled Teen Help Information. |
| Information for parents of teens, including troubled teens, parenting tips, teen education, and more. |
| www.parentingteens.com |
|
|