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Are we there yet?
The holidays are rolling around again, and it's time to figure out how to keep the kids busy as you drive to see your families. Whether it's only an hour or two or most of the day, traveling can be a very boring experience for children. How you...
Is Your Child Having Trouble in School?
Did you know that the school system is only able to meet 50% of student learning needs? That’s right! - only 50% of the student population is in an environment at school which enables them to be successful learners. The reason for this is not...
Mom vs. Dad: Navigating Parenting Differences With All Good Intentions
Let’s face it: raising children can be quite the adventure. Rewarding at one turn, challenging at the next – it’s the ultimate roller-coaster for the parenting thrill seeker. In the Game of Life, you rolled the dice and accepted the role of...
Parents Dealing with Worry and Fear
This column offers solutions to people who write in questions about how they can solve their life challenges through the formula described in the books, Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting, by Lawrence Vijay Girard
Please...
The Five Best Gifts to Give Your Family
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated. Title: The Five Best Gifts to Give...
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Saying "Yes" (so they won't know it's no) ~ guiding behavior for peaceful parenting ~
After this afternoon's fiasco, I've developed a new parenting philosophy: never deny your child anything.
"Yes, darling, of course you can take drugs (after you kill me and do away with my body)."
"Sure, dear - do start smoking! As soon as you've eaten these three packs of menthol cigarettes..."
"Of course you can have a chocolate bar, baby. When you're finished that broccoli, we'll walk over to the store and buy one."
"You sure can go outside honey! Once we're done picking up your toys, we'll play on the swings together."
Keep direct negative replies at bay unless it's imperative such as in a potentially dangerous situation. A curbside "Mommy, can I cross the street by myself?" needs to be dealt with instantly and distinctly. Discussion and education can take place later.
Of course, you've got to be right on the ball otherwise it's quite possible that you may inadvertently agree to bungee-jumping directly the vacuuming is done. If you've erred, the back-up here to is belly laugh loudly (holding your sides for
further effect), wipe your eyes and say: "My, my! I'm just being so silly today!"
If you're in a non-critical circumstance but still need to say "no" (such as the invariable plea to stay up a little longer), try going sideways: "On the weekend, you can stay up till 10:00, but only if you go to sleep right now".
By using "no" less often, it will be taken more seriously by the kids when you do say it. In the same way, your qualified yes gives the child what she wants ("yes, you can paint") as well as what you want ("as soon as we put away these puzzle pieces"). Tasks assigned with your proviso should be done together as much as possible, to keep your positive-negative positive, non?
About the Author
Stephanie Olsen, published writer, homeschooling mother of two and ESL teacher currently residing in Europe, is also owner of the expatriate site, Family Life Abroad http://www.familylifeabroad.com where you'll find humorous and informative articles by experienced expatriates on all aspects of living abroad, with lots of links and travel tips.
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