At First Glance
I admit it. I am a junkie when it comes to learning how to learn. Thinking, the brain, solutions, philosophy. I would rather talk, think, read or listen to these topics than almost any other. I really enjoy applying these concepts to my work, my business, my craft and my relationships.
We went to the library this week. Emma, at four, has a penchant for Non Fiction. She got a book about Space and a book about Nature. I also slid in "Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr. Seuss because I enjoy reading it and she enjoys listenning.
I also picked up a book by one of the leading authorities in the world in the field of Creative Thinking. "de Bono's Thinking Course" leaped off the shelf and into my hands.
Reading it was like attending a class reunion. The words were so familiar! The language and expression reminded me of what happens whenever I go back to Dana Point and talk to someone who speaks Southern Orange Countese. Somehow I start saying things like "No way!" with that certain almost surferesque lilting quality.
One of the first exercises is called The PMI. A very simple attention directing tool which takes away prejudgement and automatic thinking, it is a tool that can be used in almost any situation be it requesting consideration of an idea at work or deciding upon a restaurant for dinner or assessing where to go to college.
The PMI stands for Plus, Minus and Interesting.
No, I did not say Pros and Cons.
Pros and Cons attach judgement while the PMI steers clear of any sort of prejudgement. It simply states what is. In fact, often times one statement can fit in all three categories. The PMI is about looking at the question. It is about surveying it for information, for clues, for subtleties. It is not something to get stuck in or bogged down by however.
It is a quick thinking tool that can shift you into balance OR it may show you what is really the truth.
Today at church I walked right past a bulletin board.
There were pictures on it from last week's skating party. I vaguely remembered a flash bulb in my face, so I around and looked more carefully.
Sure enough, there Sam and I were in all our Skating Party glory. All I could see after crooning over Sam was that I decided my smile lines made me look old. I decided in that moment "YUCK! And that is being seen by everyone who walks by! How humiliating!"
I continued on my walk towards the sanctuary where Sam and I sang and listened and prayed.
After worship I visited with many friends, including Glenda, who has recently joined the ranks of those of us in our fourth decade. Like me, she has several preschoolers. She looked really great so I complimented her newly svelte figure.
We talked and laughed about being forty and wearing flattering suits for our birthdays. She said to me, "I have noticed YOU have seemed more relaxed and content lately." I paused for a moment. We said our "See you laters!"
I went back and looked at the same picture.
Looking at it through plus, minus and interesting eyes, here is what I saw:
Plus: I have a
genuine, caught in the moment smile on my face.
It captures a moment when the family was at a party together.
Because the rink was dark, the spotlight is on me and Sam, not the background "stuff". I have crows feet which trace the history of 40 years of smiles
Even with no makeup, I look ok I have my hands full AND I am calm and happy.
Minus: I have crows feet Sam is not smiling
You can not see Emma's body or face, whose leg and skate are a part of the photo What is up with my hair? I really need a manicure Sam is scratching his head
Interesting: I have a green glowing necklace like a halo on my head. (Memory of St Patrick's Day) Sam is not smiling
I am sliding a skate on the bodyless Emma's foot while balancing Sam and catch the photographer's eye just as she shoots the picture.
Emma's skating foot is sock less Sam is wearing a BEST BABY sweatshirt I wonder where Katherine was when this was taken? In the darkness, our family unit shines forth
At first glance, I did not like the picture. I was too caught up in my perception of what I believed to be an unattractive photo.
Sam and I went back to look again, and my thoughts had been transformed. The picture was still the same: my perception had subtly changed. My crows feet were indicative of many years of laughter and smiling. The halo on my head showed how goofy I can be with my children, even in public. My unmanicured hands and no make up face illustrate that once again, having an hour or so of fun with my little ones within the context of a wider community is much more significant than whether or not I look glamorous.
At second glance, what a magnificent picture!
Try out de Bono's PMI technique on a question you are sorting through in you life such as "Should I change to this job situation this month?" or "Is this contract for the teacher's in our school district adequate" or "Should we switch our family dinner times so all of us can eat together?".
The best way to find the power of the PMI is to practice it. While at first it may feel clunky, it will soon become a simple way to make decisions. It also will open discussion for the people around you to come to collaborative conclusions without inflicting judgement upon one another.
Commit to at least experiment with this powerful technique.
You will think yourself to greater success: at first glance, at second glance, at every glance.
For more information on Edward de Bono, visit his official website:
http://www.edwdebono.com/course/index.htm
Julie Jordan Scott is a Success Coach, Writer, Speaker, Radio Host and Mom Extraordnaire who inspires people worldwide to live more passionate lives through her personal and group coaching, teleclasses,
seminars and free ezines. Subscribe to DailyPassionActtivator now via email: mailto:DailyPassionActivator-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com or via web http://www.5passions.com/subpage.html
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