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6 Steps To Making A BIG Change
Do you want to make a change, but you don’t know how? Do you want to make a change, but you’ve made changes before and they haven’t *stuck?* Do you want to make a change, but you don’t see it worth expending the effort?
Check out these six steps...
Awakening
Awakening
By: Janet L. Hall
Waking up to chaos and clutter can instantly drain you of your energy and put your spirit in a foul mood, even causing you to become depressed.
As a professional organizer, I'm often asked, * Where do I start? * I...
Navigating the Skin Care Labyrinth
Most consumers give little thought to the recognized allergens,
probable carcinogens, hormone disrupters and synthetic
industrial chemicals that have been inadequately tested and yet,
can be found in the formulae of our skin and body care...
Photography 101 Part 3
Content
Even if you feel that you already know what kind of photography you like to do, it’s always a good idea to try your talent at different aspects of photography.
Pictorial, this is a general term but it applies to any photographer...
Relationship Tests Galore! How Good Are They? Which One Is For Me?
Just about every match making site and relationship ezine offers relationship or personality tests of some kind.
Are they any good?
What do they really measure?
Which one is right for me?
As with most queries I went to the web for...
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Great Relationship Problem Solving Technique
This is one of my all time favourite problem solving techniques, and I use it on a regular basis with clients who find it hard to get along with other people. But really, the technique can be applied to any problem at all, not just the ones that are about relationships. If you’re going around in circles with a relationship problem, it can really help to step back and break the problem down into groups. Here’s how to do it:
First, think of a small problem you are having in your life right now. Don’t try to tackle anything too big just yet, just get used to using this technique and then when you get more skilled at it you can try it with some larger problems. The idea is to separate your problem into three groups.
GROUP ONE: Parts of the Problem That Come From Other People
Write down all the parts of this particular problem that are brought to it by other people. Now, I know it’s tempting to lump all of the parts into this group, because it’s so easy to blame others for what is not working in our lives; but try to resist this temptation! And let’s face it - other people are not responsible for EVERY part of your problem. So be honest with yourself.
GROUP TWO: The Facts about Your problem
In this group, you are going to write down the facts. For example, let’s say your partner won’t spend enough time with you and the family. In this group, one of the facts you could write would be “We need ___ to spend more time at home”.
GROUP THREE: YOU
Now you are going to list all the parts of the problem that YOU bring to it. Many of the things you write down here will be related to your reaction to the situation. For instance, do you sulk or berate your partner when he/she chooses to spend time away from home? How does this contribute to your problem? What reaction do you get? Be sure to write down any of your own personal triggers from past circumstances or relationships which may be contributing to this problem.
OK: Time to Start Culling...
When you have created the three categories for your problem, pick up the list for Group #1. (Other People). Now, screw up this piece of paper and throw it in the bin. Why? Because…..
You cannot change OTHER PEOPLE
But how great would it be if we could?
We’d live blissfully in a world full of people who were just like us....or would we?? Now, I’m not saying that people will not change of their own accord. It just means that if they do change, it will be because they choose to, not because you tell them that they should. Don’t waste your time and energy on those parts of the problem that you cannot control!
Okay, now do the same with the group 2 list; screw it up and throw it away! Because....
You cannot change the facts
So now, all that is left is the list you have made for group 3. Your problem has just gotten a whole lot smaller because you’ve thrown away 2 of the lists! Have a good look at this third list. Are there any things in the list you have made that you feel you truly cannot change? If so, remove these items from the list – you must only use your energy on the things you do have the ability to influence.
Now, looking at the remaining things on the list, are there any things that you do not want to change? This is really important! If you don’t want to change something about yourself, then you will not; it’s that simple! But keep this in mind; writing this list is all about taking personal responsibility for what is not working in your life.
This technique will help you to focus on the parts of your problem that you CAN do something about. By now, you should have in your hot little hand a practical, do-able list that you can turn into an action plan. So the message is clear....
Find out what you can do about it and then take action!
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You are licensed to publish this article free of charge, on condition that the author's name is included, and the link to her website remains visible and clickable to human readers, and as long as the links can be read and followed by the search engine spiders.
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About the Author
Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find more of her information on mental health, self image, love, relationships, phobias and much more on her website Manifest Your Success
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