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6 Easy Time Tips
You are definitely not alone if you are feeling a need to simplify and organize your life. Many people easily spend 20 minutes a day looking for things. That is 122 hours a year – 5 entire days every year. You are bombarded with information from...
A Cure for Cancer
In my wildest imagination, I never dreamed of helping someone kick cancer over the phone!
One evening in 1985, the telephone rang. It was my brother John who lived in Washington, D.C. A call from my elder sibling was highly unusual. A year my...
How To Teach Your Children To Beat Stress
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Some Essential Dating Advice For Men
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"Some Essential Dating Advice For Men"
-- by Mike Pilinski --
(c) 2003 Kipling Kat Publishing Co. -- All Rights Reserved http://www.highstatusmale.com
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Weight Lifting 101
WHY WEIGHT LIFTING?
What's the one thing that you can do to lose weight, re-shape your body, improve muscle tone, become stronger, fight off osteoporosis, lower blood pressure, etc.?
Weight Lifting! Or as it's also called, Strength...
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How to Structure Your Marriage
My wife N'omi is often asked if she doesn't believe in equality
for women, because some of the things she says sound odd to the
modern ear. But she always replies:
"Why should I give up superiority for mere equality? I have
worked at developing my feminine traits and my human abilities.
So as a woman, I am superior. But as a man, I'm a failure.
"Why waste my time trying to be something I'm not? I can compete
well with men in terms of some of my human abilities. But just
as men can never compete with women in terms of feminine traits,
I can never compete with men in terms of masculine traits.
"And since I used to counsel a group of gay and lesbian people,
I can say with authority that if you knew what female
impersonators or sex-change people went through mentally,
emotionally, and physically, you wouldn't think it was so easy
for men to compete with women at being female.
"I'll never be as strong as most men-they generally have 300%
the upper-body strength of most women! And I'll never have the
masterful presence of a man, no matter how powerful a presence I
present as a woman.
"During the many years before I met Joel, I functioned as father
and mother to five of my children. I was only able to fulfill
the father role by telling my children stories of how wonderful
their father was, and how much he loved them, and was proud of
them. But I couldn't BE a father to them; only a faithful mom.
"Physically, beyond the obvious gender differences, men are
jointed differently from women, which enables them to excel at
certain activities that women find more difficult-though a
woman's special jointing enables her to do things well that a
man finds more difficult.
"Which makes my point: Each gender has gender-specific
qualities, as well as human attributes.
"In fact, if a pathologist finds a single human bone, he can
tell whether it was from a male or a female. A geneticist
examining a single human cell can tell whether it is male or a
female.
"So I believe in being the best of what I can be. That includes
my feminine qualities, and it includes my human qualities. For
this reason, I am a very strong woman, emotionally and mentally.
I am not in conflict with myself or with the people around me.
"I am busy being me, and getting happier and more fulfilled with
each passing year."
N'omi is really that wonderful woman, powerful and focused on
fulfilling her potential-in her own life, and in our life
together.
So what do N'omi and I have? Are we
equal? No, because equal
means the same. Men and women are not the same.
The only way in which all people are "created equal" is that we
all have the same 24 hours a day in which to make decisions
about who we have decided to be.
Marriage is not 1 + 1 = 2. That would be equality. Marriage is a
partnership, to which each partner brings a different assortment
of qualities: character traits, aptitudes, attributes, opinions,
beliefs, and other accumulated stuff that makes them who they
are.
In fact, this means that no two humans, regardless of gender,
are really "equal" when they meet.
But in marriage, you are joining two very different sets of
qualities, and adding gender qualities to the equation. This is
a volatile mix because marriage is a partnership of unequals,
not an equality of two identical parties.
We need to discard the idea that "unequal" means one is superior
and one inferior. That's NOT what it means. "Unequal" just means
"not the same," or "different." And anyone can see that every
human is different from every other human.
Furthermore, many studies-psychological and physiological-show
that men have many traits in common with each other that they
don't share with women.
And many similar studies show that women have many traits in
common with each other that they don't share with men.
Bottom Line: Marriage is a partnership, but not an equality. As
a partnership, it consists of two very different people who
bring different qualities to the relationship.
These qualities are of two kinds: Personal and gender. personal
qualities are individual and not gender-specific. But there are
gender-specific qualities that exist and must be recognized for
what they are before true partnership can blossom.
Remember: Men and women are two races that share the same
planet, but not much else! To get along happily, they have to
learn about what's unchangeable-in their own and in their mate's
nature-and what can be modified.
Then they will stop blaming, and start working together. That's
partnership!
About the author:
http://AwesomeMarriage.com - Dr. Joel Orr, "The Marriage Fixer,"
is a world-renowned consultant, speaker, and author on computer
technology for engineers and architects. He and his wife, N'omi,
have been counseling and coaching married couples for over 25
years.
He summarizes his learnings in his recent book of practical tips
for marriage, "Every Man a Hero, Every Woman a Coach"
(http://www.everymanahero.com) - hi
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