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A Crash Course in Tarot for Newbies #1
The Tarot is not just a divinatory tool, but it can also be utilized in the appropriately trained hands as a tool for providing counsel and advice with which we can navigate life. It is an antique form of divination that predates popular psychology,...
Are You Programmed?
Are you programmed?
Definitely.
How can you tell what programming you have in your unconscious mind?
That's easy. Just look around your life and see what has manifested. If it's happening -- manifested -- you have a program in your mind...
Hunter and Gatherer
Deep down, we haven't evolved as much as we would like to believe. Like the caveman, we still want to curl up next to someone during the dark of night so that we aren't so alone in the cold survival game. We want to feel safe, warm, and loved...
In Hot "Purse"suit (pursuit) of the Latest Trends
How do you keep up with the latest purse trends? That question
has been one that women have tried to answer for many years.
There are many different ways that women use for keeping up with
the trends and styles. Some watch other women, some...
The ABC's of Raising Twins
The ABC’s of Raising Twins As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins, I am often asked, “How do you do it?” I do not have an answer. I am just a regular 27 year old who has never known it any other way. Most people come home from the...
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The New Marriage - Part One Of Four
If life is a journey across uncertain terrain, love is the mountain commanding the landscape. When you scale that mountain and survey the area, everything falls into place, and everything makes sense. You can see forever, and it all seems so simple. “Why did it take so long to get here?” you wonder.
From ground level, if you can even see the peak, obscured as it so often is by unsuitable weather and intervening hills, scaling love’s heights may seem an impossible task. Some people never set foot on the path; others fall by the wayside after encountering an obstacle or two. Still others settle for temporary respite, lured by the attractions of oases in an immense, empty desert. There is much to be said for the comfort afforded by casual relationships, but a watering hole cannot sustain life indefinitely, and sometimes what seemed an oasis turns out to be just a mirage.
No doubt there are many false starts, detours, and dead ends on life’s journey. There are pitfalls and jungles where fearsome beasts lie in wait, but there are also magnificent gardens where the sweet fruits of success, family, friends, good feelings and well-being proliferate. One can live and do well in such places, but life without true love and deep intimacy leaves one feeling somehow unfulfilled, somehow cheated.
The terrain may be rocky, but your age, gender, or sexual preference shouldn’t be obstacles. It helps if your heart has already been broken. Fixing a broken heart is easier than setting out on a journey blindfolded by inexperience.
Even after you’ve made your journey through the valley and emerged on the other side, you’ll encounter a certain adjustment period when you come to grips with your partner’s faults. You might get angry about those faults. You might not be able to accept that your partner isn’t the perfect person you imagined. To deal with this, another trip to the valley might be inevitable. However, once you’ve been there, it’s not nearly as big a drop-off as before, because you have the tools to cope and you won’t get
stuck.
Because so many of our committed relationships are based on childhood expectations, we have little idea of what it takes to maintain a successful adult relationship. After experiencing the heights of early romantic love, most of us are ready to call it quits when faced with the rigors of daily living. We are unprepared for the journey it takes to reach lasting love. For those of us who believe in fairy tales, this new terrain is foreign and unmapped. No one has shown us how to traverse it, or given us directions on how to get there.
Through the ages there have been couples who, despite cultural barriers, have maintained a lived experience in their marriages. How have they accomplished this? Carl Jung believed that there is great wisdom in spiritual traditions, literature, and mythology. Most fortunate couples throughout the ages, who have learned to live according to these deeper truths, beat the odds. It has become clear to me through my own personal and professional experiences that there are some universal truths that provide a model for fulfilling relationships, regardless of programmed learning from childhood or cultural limitations. These truths transcend culture and our own limited egos.
Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D
About the Author: Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com
Source: www.isnare.com
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